Usually, Lee didn't mind riding the bus, but today he was in a hurry. The continuous stop and starting of the bus was grating on his nerves. People were taking their time getting on and off and he wanted to scream at them. Not everyone had all day; didn't they understand that? His pounding headache from last night's drink-a-thon wasn't helping his disposition either. By the time the bus reached his stop, he was angry at the world.



As he walked across the parking lot, he could see Rebecca's car. He had hoped she'd left for work, but that hadn't happened. He wasn't in the mood to listen to her bitching about his drinking and not coming home. She had better keep her mouth shut if she knew what was good for her. He knew there wasn't much chance of that.



Opening the front door, Lee could smell the aroma of fresh coffee coming from the kitchen. Being a betting man, he wagered that Rebecca was sitting by the kitchen window drinking a cup of coffee. If he was lucky, he could get to the bathroom and into the shower before she caught up with him. His lucky streak wasn't that good lately, but it was definitely worth the gamble.



Even after popping a few of her "dream" pills, Rebecca had been unable to sleep last night. She'd walked the floor, watched television, tried reading and finally, sat in the dark staring at nothing. She hadn't worried where Lee was. She just hated being alone and their facade of a marriage. A long time ago, she'd believed in their vows of for better or worse. She knew about Sandi and had been willing to accept the fact that her husband might never love her the way he loved another woman. When she got pregnant, it just seemed like the right thing to do. The miscarriage had been traumatic. She knew she wasn't the same person anymore.  She hated the anger she felt, but she didn't know how to get past it.



As the sun filtered through the window, she'd brewed a pot of coffee and sat at the kitchen table, waiting. She'd argued with herself for hours. Maybe they could discuss their problems like two adults. Nevertheless, when she heard the front door open, all thoughts of discussion vanished and her smoldering anger exploded.



Lee hurried across the living room into the bedroom. He undressed, tossed his clothes across the bed and hurried toward the bathroom. Too late! Rebecca stood in the bedroom doorway. If looks could kill, he knew he'd be dead right now.



"Nice to see you could find your way home this morning." Sarcasm dripped from her mouth. "Where the hell have you been all night?"



"Shut up, Rebecca." Lee's head was hurting and the last thing he wanted was her screaming at him. "Just drop it! Let me catch a fast shower and I'll get out of your hair."



"This isn't some fly-by-night hotel room where you stop in for a shower and a change of clothes. In case you forgot, you're suppose to live here with me, asshole."



"Rebecca, just let it go. I'm in no mood for your shit and I'm in a hurry." Considering their conversation finished, Lee slammed the bathroom door in her face and locked it. Turning on the radio to block any further of her rantings, he stepped into the shower.



"You jerk! Well, you have to come out of there sometime so I'll just wait." Walking back into the kitchen, Rebecca poured another cup of coffee. Her anger with Lee was past the boiling point. She began tidying up the kitchen, taking her frustrations out on the cupboard doors. It was insult enough that he had no concern for her feelings, but she refused to be dismissed like a servant!



The shower hadn't done much to relieve Lee's headache and the face looking back at him from the mirror told him he definitely needed a shave. He left the shower running in hopes of delaying Rebecca's return. He finished shaving, combed his hair, and put on his underwear before unlocking the bathroom door. As he swung the door open, Rebecca was waiting.



Catching him off guard, she slammed the cast iron frying pan against his body. Lee threw his arm up in defense, groaning in pain. She swung the frying pan again, connecting with his shoulder. "Who do you think you are? I'm not one of your whores."



"You crazy bitch! I'm going to kill you." Struggling to pull the frying pan from Rebecca's hand, Lee's anger turned ferocious. "I told you to leave me alone. Now you're going to wish you had." Rebecca scrambled backwards, trying to put space between them. Losing her grip on the frying pan, she let go and ran out of the bedroom.



The weight of the frying pan connected with Lee's barefoot and he screamed in pain, "You bitch....You better run!" Caught off balance, he crashed to the floor, grabbing his foot in agony. A steady stream of curses flowed from his mouth.



Sensing an advantage, Rebecca stopped her retreat. Grabbing the brass candlestick on the table, she rushed at him again, striking him two or three times across his back. Fighting for the candlestick, he gave it a quick jerk and she lost her footing, tumbling on top of him. Her manicured nails dug into his naked skin. He screamed in pain, just before he landed a punch to her face. His fist connected with her nose. A loud crunching sound reverberated through her head as blood splattered everywhere. She scrambled into the bathroom and locked the door. Fear had finally found a home.



"Stay in there, bitch. Rot as far as I'm concerned." Grabbing a towel from the dresser, Lee wiped off his body and checked to see the damage. Rebecca's fingernails had left a long row of scratches across his back. He could hear her heavy breathing behind the closed door. He leaned his head against the door. "Why don't you take a handful of your "pills" while I'm gone? Make us both happy!"



Afraid that he might break down the door, Rebecca refrained from answering. Her reflection in the mirror terrified her. She listened and waited.





Grabbing a clean shirt and slacks, Lee quickly dressed. All he'd wanted was a quick shower and clean clothes, but she couldn't leave him alone. Who'd she think she was, attacking him with a frying pan? He had no remorse for what he'd done.



Walking back into the front room, he kicked the end table, sending the lamp flying across the room. For good measure, he flipped the chair over too. He still wanted to punch her. He slammed his fist into her picture on the wall. Grabbing a light jacket from the coat closet, he opened the front door. "Have a nice day, bitch." He slammed the door behind him.



One hour later, his foot still hurting from the frying pan, Lee limped into Whipton Memorial Hospital and went directly to the information desk. He was suddenly getting nervous about seeing Sandi again.



The clerk looked up and smiled. "May I help you?"



"Good morning" His throat was dry. Mentally chastising himself for being so worried, he paused before continuing, "I was looking for the room number for Sandi Carter." Her name even sounded strange to him this morning.



"One moment, please. Let me get that information for you." Scanning the computer screen, she hesitated for a moment. Picking up the desk phone, she dialed a number. "It'll just be one more moment, sir." After a short conversation, she turned her attention back to Lee. "May I have your name please?"



"My name? I just want to see a patient, not fill out an application." Lee's irritation with Rebecca was still evident. The clerk ignored his sarcasm and sat there, waiting for an answer. "I don't know why you need my name, but it's Lee Creed."



The clerk smiled and repeated his name into the telephone before hanging up the receiver. "The doctor will be down in a few moments. If you want to wait over there, it shouldn't be long." She politely pointed toward a waiting area.



"The doctor? Can't I just have the room number?"



"I'm terribly sorry sir. I was just told to have you wait here for the doctor."



Frustrated, Lee walked toward the waiting area. Too nervous to sit down, he paced back and forth. Whatever was going on with Sandi, it didn't look good. She disappeared for two years, left a mysterious message yesterday, and now he can't even get her room number. Why would a doctor need to talk to him before he could see her?



About five minutes later, a doctor dressed in surgery scrubs, leaned over the information desk, and spoke to the clerk. She nodded in Lee's direction. The doctor thanked her and than walked across the room to Lee. "You must be Mr. Creed? I'm Dr. Leo Marvin, Sandi's surgeon."



"Nice to meet you, Dr. Marvin. Is Sandi okay? Nobody can tell me what's going on." His nerves were about to get the best of him and he fought to control his anger.



"There is a private conference room over here. Let's go sit in there and talk." Leaving no room for objections, Dr. Marvin strolled into the conference room and directed Lee toward a chair. "As I said before, I was Sandi's surgeon."



"I don't understand ...you were her surgeon, past tense? What the hell's going on?"



Unruffled by Lee's angry outburst, he waited a moment before continuing. "I do apologize, son, but because you're not immediate family, federal law does not allow me to disclose specifics with you. Sandi did request that I personally speak to you though." Totally confused, Lee stared at the doctor, nervously waiting for some clarification. "I'm terribly sorry, son, but Sandi passed away early this morning. She didn't make it through surgery."



The doctor's words slapped Lee in the face. Stunned, his eyes filled with tears. His voice trembled as he tried to speak, "I ...I don't understand. What happened?" The tough guy attitude vanished.



"I'm sorry. We did our best to save her, but it was too late." No matter how compassionate Dr. Marvin wanted to be, his hands were tied. There was little information that he could provide.



"She left me a message yesterday. How can she be dead?" Lee's whole body was shaking. He buried his face in his hands.



Dr. Marvin nodded. "In her heart, she knew it was probably too late. She wanted to make amends." He waited, giving Lee a moment to comprehend everything. "I'm sorry for your loss. I have to get back to surgery, but I wanted to tell you myself. Sandi was a wonderful girl. She made a lot of friends at the hospital and she always spoke fondly of you." Reaching in his pocket, Dr. Marvin pulled out an envelope with Lee's name scrawled across it. "She left this for you."



Handing the envelope to Lee, he expressed his condolences again before leaving. Unable to move, Lee clutched the envelope. Tears streamed down his face. He struggled to accept what had just happened. Sandi was dead. How could that be possible? His hands shook as he stared at the envelope, recognizing her writing. The envelope was all he had left of Sandi.



Sliding his finger under the flap, he opened the envelope. The scent of her perfume assaulted his nose. He inhaled and remembered their last time together. It had been so long ago and so much had happened.



Taking out the neatly folded paper, he smoothed out the pages and began to read.



Lee,



If you are reading this letter, you know I am gone. I have so much to tell you. I'm not sure where to begin. I'm sorry that I hurt you.



I was a junky, Lee. You know it. I was always strung out on something, barely aware of the time or day. One day I OD'd. On a stupid dare, I popped a handful of pills without even asking what they were or even caring, for that matter. I was so stoned that I would have tried anything with the possibility of getting higher. When I finally woke up in a critical care unit, a doctor was standing by my bedside. He didn't mince any words with me. He told me I should be dead, but for the grace of God, I wasn't.



With his next few words, I wondered why he had bothered to save me. He told me that I had cancer, inoperable cancer. I wanted to die. I didn't want to face you or any one else for that matter. 



He told me about a sanitarium in Arizona. A place run by nuns located away from most civilization. When I was well enough to travel, he sent me there. The nuns nursed me back to life, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I learned about God and I learned about loving myself. I learned about caring for the people around me and giving of myself. Though no one knew how long I might be in remission, I had a second chance at life. In those few short months, I took long walks and talked to God about my life. I told him how I would change my life if given the chance.



At my last check up, the doctor regretfully told me that the cancer had returned. It had spread throughout my body, ravaging every cell it encountered, leaving no hope for another remission. With the clock ticking off precious minutes, I was encouraged to make peace with those I loved. Before I went into the hospital, I searched for you at our old haunts.  I wanted to tell you myself. I saw you with those girls, so drunk you didn't even recognize me.



You are obviously not the same wonderful, loving guy I fell in love with so long ago. I say this, not to hurt you, but in hopes you will realize what you have before it's too late. I always loved you Lee, but too much time had passed. Your heart belonged to Rebecca. Admit that you love her before it is too late. God works in mysterious ways, Lee. Let him help you. Life is too short. I only wish you happiness. Don't let it slip through your fingers like I did. I'll always be in your heart, watching over you.



Good-bye,



Sandi



After reading the letter repeatedly, Lee finally folded it and put it in his pocket. Instead of thinking about Sandi, his thoughts filled with Rebecca. He was ashamed of everything he had said and done to her. It took a death to open his eyes. How could he have known that when things got rough, his anger over Sandi would erupt and he'd punished Rebecca for it? She had tried her best to be a good wife. She hadn't deserved the pain and agony he'd caused her. He needed to tell her he was sorry for everything.



Reaching for his cell phone, he dialed a number. As the phone rang, he prayed it wasn't too late. Rebecca's voice finally began speaking, requesting the caller to leave a message and she'd return the call as soon as possible. At the sound of the beep, Lee hesitated, searching for the right words. This might be his only chance with Rebecca and he didn't want to blow it!



"Rebecca, it's Lee. Please listen to what I have to say, please. I'm sorry...for everything. We need to talk, okay? I want to make things right if you'll give me a chance. I'm sorry I hurt you." His voice was choking but he struggled to finish his message. " Call me when you get this ...better yet, I'm on my way home. Rebecca, I love you...really, I love you." Flipping the phone closed, Lee sat with his eyes closed, praying it wasn't too late.



Lowering his head, he placed his hands together and began to pray, "Lord, I know we haven't spoken much in the past. I'm not even sure where to begin. I understand if you don't want to listen to me now, but Sandi was sure you would. If you can hear me, I'm sorry. I haven't done right in this life and I have hurt many people, especially my wife. If you will grant me a second chance, Lord, I'll do it right this time. Please. I've heard you can save people ...save me, Lord. Just give me a chance to make things right. Please if you're listening, I can't blame if you're not, but I could sure use your help. Amen."



Thoughts of Rebecca lying on the floor flash through his head. The splattered blood and her crying filled him with remorse. He hurried from the hospital toward the bus stop and Rebecca. He wanted to make amends.

Author Notes

This is the second part of a three part story. Thanks for reading. PART THREE IS POSTED IF YOU WISH TO CONTINUE.