FanStory.com - Stories from Morrison by Bill Schott

A snake lie at the base of an apple tree. Within his body, a frog and a mouse underwent the reductive process of digestion.

"Well," began the frog, "this has been a day, for sure."

"I have to agree, chump," replied the mouse.

"My problem, as I now see it, was believing what the snake told me," said the frog.

"What was that?"

"The snake said that the knowledge of good and evil could be gained by partaking of the fruit of this tree."

"Really?" said the mouse with a wrinkled brow. "I was not aware that frogs were big fruit lovers."

"Well, no, but, c'mon. The knowledge of good and evil? It's worth a bite; right?"

"Was it?"

"Well -- I had to get a lift to the branches, and the snake suggested I ride in his mouth."

"Ha ha!" laughed the mouse. "You must feel pretty dumb right now."

"What's your story, rat-wanna-be?"

"I had actually climbed the tree and gnawed the stem of a particularly juicy apple. I was planning to have it drop where I could chew it up on the ground."

"So you did, it did, then the snake ate you?"

"No, not exactly," said the mouse. "While I was nibbling on the stem, a worm popped out of the apple."

"Mmm! Sounds delicious. Was it?" asked the frog.

"Actually, the darn thing started talking to me."

"What!? A talking worm?"

"Yes! I was as shocked as you. Anyway, the worm said that his apple was a good one. Some were evil, so if anyone ate one of those, they would only learn of what was evil in the world."

"So. did you eat the apple?" asked the frog.

"Funny story -- I nabbed the worm and chucked him in my mouth. As I was chomping him up, the half-eaten stem gave way and I rode the apple to the ground."

"So, then the snake found you and --"

"He asked me if the apple I fell with was a good one or an evil one."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him I didn't know for sure, but that the talking worm inside said it was a good one."

"What did the snake say then?"

"He asked me if the worm was okay. I told him it was good eating."

"What then?"

"The snake kind of widened his eyes, dropped his jaw, and with sort of a quivering lower lip whispered, "W-w-willy?"

Author Notes Image from Google

Chapter 2
Snake and the Three Tiny Aliens

By Bill Schott

Once upon a time, three tiny aliens went out looking for separate places to build shelters.

The youngest alien, Four-Handfuls-of-Ghoul-Stool, built himself a shelter made from pistachio shells.

The next older alien, What's-This-in-the-Vegematic, built herself a shelter made from old hypodermic syringes and tongue depressors.

The oldest alien, Handsome Hal, built itself a shelter made from Spam cans and nail-gun nails in bandanas.

One day a snake slithered up to the house of pistachio shells and decided that whatever lived there needed to be snake food. Honestly, this was the snake's evaluation ninety-nine percent of the time.

After a brief encounter, the tiny alien figured that he should flee and seek protection with the next older alien.

The serpent followed the alien, which ran in a straight line towards the next shelter. Once the snake arrived, both aliens evacuated their bowels and the shelter as they fled for the eldest alien's home.

The snake noted where the two aliens had run to, and then took a moment to slide by the old apple tree. He talked a frog into walking into his mouth, then gobbled down a mouse with a worm inside it. A naked lady came by, but that's another story.

Heading to the shelter made of cans and nails, the snake realized that the walls were a deterrent to its entry.

"Little aliens, little aliens, grant me access."

"Not by the fibers on our ventral mandibles."

"Then I will wait you out."

The snake coiled around the fortified structure and fell asleep.

Waiting inside, the aliens began talking.

"Before we die, I need to tell you guys something," said Handsome Hal.

"Is it that you are from another planet?" asked Four-Handfuls-of-Ghoul-Stool.

"No."

"Is it that you are older only because you were born first?" asked What's-This-in-the-Vegematic.

"No."

"Was it that you picked out everyone's name, including your own?" asked the snake, as it burrowed up throught the floor.

The three aliens were swallowed before Handsome Hal could answer, but -- don't we already know?

Author Notes Image from Google

Chapter 3
Snake and the Three Mongooses

By Bill Schott

Once upon a time there was a family of mongooses that lived at the edge of the jungle.

One day Mama Mongoose had prepared three rotten eggs for lunch, but they needed to cool, so the mama, papa, and baby mongoose went for a walk before eating.

While the mongooses were out, a young snake came slithering into the home.

Noticing first the three eggs, the young snake swallowed one. He immediately spit it out. Thinking maybe the first was simply too rotted, he swallowed another. He spit it out as well. The third egg tasted alright.

He then slithered further into the mongooses' lair and found three piles of thatch that were the residents' beds. Coiling up on one, he felt it was too prickly. The second one smelled like a wet dog. Finally, finding a third pile, the snake coiled up and fell asleep.

Eventually, the mongooses returned from their walk. Entering it was discoverd the eggs had been moved. Both Mama and Papa Mongoose noticed their eggs had been slimed. Baby Mongoose noted that his egg was missing.

Moving further into the den, the mongooses discovered the snake on Baby Mongoose's bed.

Papa Mongoose burped, filling the area with the smell of sulfur. Mama Mongoose crawled out to the open air and released her flatulance. Baby Mongoose bit the snakes head off.

Author Notes Image from Google

Chapter 4
Three Rodent Cousins

By Bill Schott

Once upon a time there were three rodent cousins. The smallest rodent was a gerbil known as Ruffian. The second, larger rodent was a rat known as Ruff-n-ready. The third was a capybara known as Too-dey-yoo-dye.

The three cousins had managed to eat all the food available to rodents and needed to move to the next pasture across the river.

They were aware that the bridge that spanned the river which led to the other side was guarded by a large bull snake.

The gerbil, Ruffian, volunteered to attempt the crossing first.

"I'll go first," he said.

"Sure," said Ruff-n-ready.

"Too-dey-yoo-dye!" yelled Too-dey-yoo-dye.

So, the gerbil headed off to the bridge.

Halfway across the bridge, the bull snake slithered up onto the walkway.

"Y'know what time it is, Joybal?"

Ruffian looked up at the sun and back to the snake.

"Just past noon, Mr. Snake."

"Ooooh! Time to eat you then."

"Wait, sir. I am but a wee morsel, whereas my cousin is ten times as big as me. You might be better off waiting for him."

The snake thought for a second and then asked, "What time did you say it was?"

As Ruffian looked again at the sun, the snake lunged forward and swallowed him.

Later, Ruff-n-ready came creeping across the bridge.

Halfway across, the bull snake slithered up onto the walkway.

"Well, well. Yous must be the ten-times-bigger cousin of the late joybal what I ate?"

Ruff-n-ready frowned. "You ate my cousin --"

Before Ruff-n-ready could finish processing the death of his cousin, Snake uncoiled and swallowed the bigger, but not too big rat.

More time went by before Too-dey-yoo-dye looked at the sun and determined it was five in the afternoon. She wondered what was on the other side of the river.

The capybara went to the bridge and began crossing.

Halfway across, the bull snake slithered up onto the walkway.

"Well, well, well, well, well. You are a real prize there rodent. What do they call you?"

Too-dey-yoo-dye noticed the snake had two lumps which made it look funny.

"Too-dey-yoo-dye!"

"Wait! Is that your name or --"

Before Snake could complete his question, the big cousin stepped forward and stomped on the serpent's body.

"Too-dey-yoo-dye! Too-dey-yoo-dye! Too-dey-yoo-dye!" she yelled as she trampled the bull snake into toe jam.

As the sun lowered into the horizon, the surviving cousin found food and shelter in the new pasture. She had forgotten she had cousins.

Author Notes Images from Google

Based on The Three Billy Goats Gruff.

In the process of writing this story I began with a shrew, a racoon, and the capybara. Unfortunately, I discovered that the shrew is not a rodent, but an insectivore. The racoon is not a rodent, but closer to a bear. So, I have these characters.

Chapter 5
Snake and the Tree of Knowledge

By Bill Schott

Snake and his mother lived in a small viper pit. They were starving, so one day Snake's mother instructed him to take their pet talking worm Willy to the Tree of Knowledge to get some tasty critters to follow him back to the pit.

Once they arrived at the tree, Willy did a few laps around the tree trunk and eventually got to some fruit. There he entered an apple and ate like a worm with a tape worm.

Several small creatures gathered at the base of the tree after smelling the scent of the worm. Snake ran into a frog.

"I'm new here," said the frog to Snake. "What's good to eat?"

"I've seen a few beetles and some likely slugs, but the knowledge of good and evil could be gained by partaking of the fruit of this tree."

"Wow! No kidding? I'm not a big fruit eater, but the knowledge of good and evil seems like it's worth a bite."

"Jump in my mouth and I'll take you up," said Snake.

After swallowing the frog and stifling a chuckle, Snake looked for those beetles and slugs.

Suddenly, an apple and a mouse dropped to the ground in front of him.

"Well, hey there, mouse. Is that apple there a good one or an evil one?"

"I don't know for sure," said the mouse, "but a talking worm inside it said it was a good one."

"A talking worm? Is he okay?"

The mouse burped while patting his tummy. "It was delicious!"

"W-w-willy?" stammered Snake.

The mouse saw that Snake looked a bit stunned, which wasn't easy as Snake's facial features were quite inscrutable.

Snake sprang at the mouse and swallowed it.

Before swallowing some more "groceries" for his mother, and heading back to the pit, Snake slithered up the tree.

A woman came by looking like she might want to get a bushel of apples. She saw Snake hanging from a limb.

"Is the fruit any good?" she asked.

"Sure. Try that one. It's good."

While looking at the apple that Snake pointed out, a worm popped out.

"Willy! I thought you were dead!" shouted Snake.

"No, I'm okay. I think my brother Wally got et though."

The sight of the worm discouraged the woman from eating the good apple.

"I'll try this one here," she said, and picked another and ate it.

Snake and his pet worm slithered back to the viper pit where he regurated all he had in him.

Later, he was blamed for the fall of Man, and his mother disowned him.

Author Notes Image from Google

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