By Ricky1024
"The Prologue for the Book
Entitled Lostnessless"
Written on January 25th, 2023
Ã??? Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved''
After a long and lustrious relationship with a man.
Joseph Vigil whom I once considered
(For the past 17 years) my best friend.
A blessed man as he states on his telephone answering machine....
'Have a blessed day,'
Yes, my best friend.
And because of a woman.
I helped and brought into that household on October 14th of this past year.
I have now, unfortunately been left "Homeless"
Yes, the 13th of this past January.
...
Come into the World?
"The World of Homelessness?"
And, let's learn together what it feels like?
Yes, to not know where you will be sleeping tonight??
Whether or not you'll be getting a meal?
Whether you will be safe tonight or have to spend another.
Another in the outside world?
...
Yes, where the temperatures can be extremely mad as cruel!
Yes, where you're forced to scratch and crawl and gruel?
Never another the feeling of God's Peace and Serenity in the outside world?
...
Yes, where it is dangerous and it's now "Man eat Man?
Understand?
Whether or not should you sleep with your possessions hidden?
Hidden and protected?
Protected under the covers for when you wake up?
Maybe they could possibly be gone forever?
....
"The Book Homelessness"
(The First Chapter)
"Gone Forever?"
How do you emote when you're soaking wet in the moat of rain?
Regrets?
I've had too few but between me and you?
A few too many.
...
After a heated argument with this
Miss Dawn Deborah Reel.
I got real nasty.
So with six Stafford township police officers in my residence with Joe Vigil.
Yes, and accused of now having a gun and going to shoot her!
Wow!
Like a little Catholic church mouse.
She was working vigorously on the future restraining order.
...
Now my first night was at the interstate Hotel Atlantic City.
$70.00
Yes then back home for business to receive the phenonious restraining order.
...
Now of course I would travel back and forth from Atlantic City to Manahawkin, New Jersey cuz I'm a Regal Crown Unlimited Member
(No restraining order)
To hang out in a warm and comfortable area watching the latest flick.
...
The next and several of you days will be spent at the Wyndham Days Inn.
(Absecon, New Jersey)
Yes, where I would establish a residency with a roof over my head.
This would result in exhausting my finances.
And also disabling my T-Mobile and my Verizon's phone accounts for lack of money to pay the bill.
I would later find out on a trip back to my bank.
That my Wells Fargo account was double charged!
Once and firstly with the Wyndham Days Inn of Absecon, New Jersey.
And, secondly by the hotel with the cash I would give.
He claimed that the credit card did not go through.
Yes, and there was no money on it??
Yes, because he ran it also for a
$100 security deposit.
(Which I wasn't aware of)
More on that later as I file the claim against the hotel.
Approximate Word Count:652
| Author Notes |
Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His only Son Jesus Christ.
Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Writer and Amazing Writer, 'cleo85' And, Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Saguaro" |
By Ricky1024
The Prologue for the Book Entitled
"Homelessness"
Written on January 25th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved''
After a long and lustrious relationship with a man.
Joseph Vigil whom I once considered
(For the past 17 years) my best friend.
A blessed man as he states on his telephone answering machine....
'Have a blessed day,'
Yes, my best friend.
And because of a woman.
Dawn Deborah Reel aka.Miss Dee Dee.
Yes, whom I helped and brought into that household.
(October 14th of this past year)
I have now, unfortunately been left "Homeless"
Yes, the 13th of this past January.
...
Come into the World?
"The World of Homelessness?"
And, let's learn together what it feels like?
Yes, to not know where you will be sleeping tonight??
Whether or not you'll be getting a meal?
Whether you will be safe tonight or have to spend another.
Another in the outside world?
...
Yes, where the temperatures can be extremely mad as cruel!
Yes, where you're forced to scratch and crawl and gruel?
Never another the feeling of God's Peace and Serenity in the outside world?
...
Yes, where it is dangerous and it's now "Man eat Man?
Understand?
Whether or not should you sleep with your possessions hidden?
Hidden and protected?
Protected under the covers for when you wake up?
Maybe they could possibly be gone forever?
....
"The Book Homelessness"
(The First Chapter)
"Gone Forever?"
God the Almighty, feel as if I've been "Gone Forever?"
And God is just the way it's supposed to be?
To be or not to be?
It now feels as if the Whole World has turned against me!
...
Lost the Sun...
Then lost the Moon...
Lost the Sun's shine.
Lost the Moon's glow.
(Don't you know?)
...
Lost the only son...
Lost that house...
Lost the career job...
Lost the only wife...
Now God it feels...
As if...
Eye..
Lost...
My...
Life?
...
Approximate Word Count:440
| Author Notes |
Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His only Son Jesus Christ.
Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Writer and Amazing Writer, 'cleo85' And, Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Saguaro" |
By Ricky1024
"No Silver Lining?" (A)
Written on January 28th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �© Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved''
****
As Time approaches, Mankind within its own particular way.
Life as we know it?
Yes, is captured but with a single Ray.
Movements subjected as night, as day.
Must battle for supremacy on this dark and cloudy day
...
Hollow and cocooned, Entombed as we all must obey.
Is this God's the way?
The way you meant it to be?
To believe in you is to believe in what will be?
...
To Be or Not?
Tis this Covid--19 Pandemic Crisis
Showing that we may only have a short time to live?
Have we just One-Last-Shot?
As the "Silver Lining"
Tis but a mere glimpse?
Yes a glimpse of better days,?
"Within God's Holy Rays?"
"Silver Lining" (B)
By Doctor Ricky 1024
The feeling of God's Once Upon
my face.
Light penetration Soul.
Movement and definite pattern of matter.
...
Peaceful Harmony across the land.
People together, family interaction again.
"Brotherhood of Man".
...
Cell phone shatter as telecommunication matters.
Appointments made.
Human beings obeying and abade.
And as we start this amazing day!
See the Silver Lining and God's music that He plays!
| Author Notes |
Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ.
Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'avmurry' Her Incredible Picture Entitled, "Flowers with. Silver Lining" |
By Ricky1024
"Reduced Harmony"
Written on January 29th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved''
The music Reverberation demonstrated in Humiliation.
Trees stripped bare.
Dear Lord God.
Doesn't anybody still care?
...
The Crescendo accompanies the Harmony.
Blood thickens in blood curdling and total Insanity.
As bleak and utter coldness envelopes me.
God are You listening to me?
...
Wetted Tears slide down my cheeks with Icy crystals of Grief.
God any chance of relief for this
Latter-day Saint Priest?
...
The music Reverberation demonstrated in Humiliation.
Trees stripped bare.
Below?
My bodies lying there..
| Author Notes |
Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ.
Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'maryamabc' And, her Incredible picture Entitled, "let me feel you" |
By Ricky1024
"Alone Without Hope"
Written on January 30th, 2024
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved''
It's a Sad World.
An unfortunate World of one layered toilet paper rolls and cheap motels.
Slow running Un-hot waters and cheap dates of hate.
Cold rooms, channel controllers with dead batteries and no way for entertainment.
"Systematic restraintment"
As I reach out now to You.
Lord God.
And, call out Your name.
Yes, but unfortunately it's always a non-response.
...
It's a Mad and Sadden World of Dripping Nasal Cavities on Avenues with no View of return.
Burning tis my Broken Heart.
My desires have been conspired!
Yes, shattered in tatter, what's the damned matter?
...
Tis broken apart, conspired by a liar!
Whom's only desire?
Yes, to ruin me!
And, now Evil woman.
Yes!
You give me no recourse.
Dear Lord, above.
Grant me this *Divorce?
| Author Notes |
*Divorce: noun
/di.vorce/ 1. law: action or an instance legally dissolving a marriage. 2. SEPERATION, SEVERANCE Divorce of the secular and the spiritual. Note: 'I did not have sex with that woman' Bill Clinton speaking about his affair with Monica Lewinsky. ... Note: Of course! Anybody that has been following my recent posts at Fanstory. Knows that I got involved with the wrong woman, Dawn Debroah Reel. Whom perjured herself in Superior court last week. Stating that I was her fiance. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer, 'cleo85' Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, " Holding the Future" |
By Ricky1024
"Forgiving Nature"
Written on February 2nd, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved''
"Wence thou tis bitten,
Hence ye are smitten in repair"
Unknown Poet
...
"Forgive and Forget?"
"Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth?"
What then exactly is the truth!
"With each and every positive reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction"
God Will Forgive You.
...
As a young girl, I once saw an old black and white Cecil B. DeMille film on the life of Jesus, Entitled,
"King of Kings"
The film was very moving and when I watched the crucifixion scenes.
I began to weep.
I realized Jesus had died for me and that my sin.
And had nailed him to the Cross.
...
I knelt down beside my bed and confessed my sins to God.
And told Him I was sorry.
I thanked Jesus for dying for my sin and ask God to forgive me.
I told Him I believe Jesus had risen from the dead, and I invited Him to come live in my heart.
...
I don't remember any dramatic sensation afterward, but I knew my sin had been forgiven and I had been born again.
That prayer began a love relationship with Jesus that is more real to me than any other.
And I would like to share it with you.
...
'Before I retire, I take my slippers off and place them carefully, far back under my bed.'
'So that in the morning.'
'I have no choice but to get that on my two knees, thank Father above for all the gifts he has given me.'
Denzel Washington.
...
To have a forgiving nature, do we need to constantly get down on our two knees?
Do we need to sacrifice and give of ourselves each and every day and each and every way?
Each and every day each and every way no matter the consequences?
No matter the frustration, no matter the pain that can constantly and always remain?
...
The Bible says that "if we confess our sins, [God] is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"
(1 John 1:9.)
Approximate Word Count: 445.
| Author Notes |
Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ.
Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer, 'Doctor Ricky 1024: His Incredible Picture Entitled, "Forgive" |
By Ricky1024
"Crave for a Cure?"
Written on January 31st, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved''
The many days now seem to all be melting away.
Yes, from the past and cheap motels, to any place, I can afford to stay.
My funds now are getting extremely limited and I'm thinking of what it must feel like to be completely restricted to "The Outer World"
...
Creating a shelter, living with nature, tented community, in an abandoned park.
Yes, all completely alone in the "Wooded Dark?"
...
35 degrees feels like 21 degrees to me at 6 :41 p.m.
"Just Believe"
Yes, that before this week is completed.
Several unfortunate Souls lives will be taken here in South Jersey.
****
Plummeting temps...
Safe time long spent?
No time to repent...
Monies mostly spent.
God is this feeling.
Feeling the way that it is supposed to be?
For me?
...
Note: At Code Blue Warming Center in Toms River, South Jersey.
"Just Believe"
The anticipated temperatures are expected to be nearly zero all week long.
...
Now when below 35 degrees?
"Just Believe?"
Becomes not "Make Believe!"
Or as Monty Hall would say.
'Let's make a deal!'
...
The doors open at 5:00 p.m. but close the next morning at 9:00 p.m.
And then my friend.
You're out on the streets again!
...
Yes but if it happens to snow?
Then away we will not go.
Let's Make a Deal"
Just became...
"The Price is Right!"
Yes, cuz cousins?
You're going to stay there all through the day and even into the next night!
That's right but as for now?
The pictured Cold is here to stay.
And you need to find your way.
...
"Just Believe?"
Up, Up, and Away.
Is it a Bird?
Is it a Plane?
Is this poem starting to get the little insane?
...
Plainly speaking?
Unless you've planned for ground zero?
Shut the damned door!
"Crave for a Cure?"
| Author Notes |
Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ.
Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'Annalinda' Anna's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Road to Destruction" |
By Ricky1024
"Homelessness Bites Deep"
Written on February 5th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
"Games of chance."
God, perhaps One last dance?
As the Cold wind blows.
(Don't you know?)
Been walking for Miles with no real direction.
Fortunately a warm coat for his only protection.
...
Searching desperately for a place of safety if he so dare?
Only the local wooded area to share.
Haven't eaten a decent meal in many, many, days.
Seemingly lost in a daze.
...
This is homelessness and it comes wrapped in a package of tears.
And everybody has their story.
This one for you to hear.
Lost his only career.
Everything started suddenly to disappear.
...
He doesn't even know why he's here?
Dumpster diving, hobo stew, hook ups, wondering next.
But meal overdue?
Only thing working for Alan?
Unfortunately was temptation.
...
Lost Family.
Lost Faith.
Lost House.
Lost Hope.
Lost Religion.
Doesn't anybody hear?
Trust, Love, and Only Fear.
...
Note: Alan Mosely Committed suicide.
On February 1st, 2023.
By the time the Absecon police in Absecon, New Jersey received the call.
Alan Mosely whom purposely overdose.
Was frozen in a fetal position and apparently dead for weeks.
...
Note: If you know somebody lost in an apparent state of hopelessness.
Yes and at the end of the rope.
Then please call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 or simply dial 9-11.
And, save the next Alan Mosely.
...
| Author Notes |
Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ.
Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'avmurray' And, her Incredible Picture Entitled, "Abandoned" |
By Ricky1024
"Streaming in Homeless Pain"
Written on February 10th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
"Within the Presence of Evil God will Prevail"
Unknown Poet
...
I've been walking this beat now for 28 days and closing in on my very first month disposed.
Thrown out like a dirty rag by this nasty and fat ugly hag!
Fortunately, the weather has been favorable and bearable except a few days of torrential downpours.
(Who could ask for anything more?)
...
My plan is crystal as well as clear, but the next parent court date on March 8th 2023 is still way too far off and unclear.
By clearly I'm learning how to be a survivor.
Money at the beginning of the month is no problem for me but by the end of the month?
Ukkk!
Yes, I'm borrowing like a little church mouse scrapping for just a slice of cheese!
Paleeezeee!
...
The motels are cheap and get cheaper by the day.
With each and every entry there are more and different problems.
The place I'm currently staying "SuperLodge"
God there's not anything super about this place!
It has two non-working outlets, so there's two lamps that won't turn on.
A non-working hair dryer.
Dumbass TV system that you have to punch all these control buttons to get it to finally work from ON to TV to SAP!
Place of course is managed by another Indian jerk!
Can you Calcutta Sasson?
The outside ice machine is shot!
As Mr. Indian states.
'You must push it three times!'
You can push it One Billion/Trillion and 33 more times.
Yes, and you won't get one more ice cube out of that shot piece of garbage machine!
Along with their apparent washing and dryer procedure which states with the sign.
"Out of Order."
...
| Author Notes |
Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ.
Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer 'cleo85' Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "On the dark side of life" |
By Ricky1024
"Nourishing Compounds"
Written as February 10th, 2024
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
Sun and Moon
Fathers and Mothers
No food to eat?
God,?
God, why God?
On Earth this Hard Street?
Yes, in which I must now sleep?
...
Oceans and Seas
Waves and Sand
Brothers and Sisters
You and Me?
God no warm place?
In which to be?
Hard to imagine?
God did you forget about me?
...
Night and Day
Uncles and Aunts
Days and Nights
God?
Do I have the power?
To do now what's right??
...
Cousins and Family
Nieces and Nephews
Pins and Needles
Needles and Pins?
God, it feels now so Damn good!
To do what I must now should?
Within the Depth of this Sin.
Yes when I stick it in!
...
Sun and Moon
Fathers and Mothers
Brothers and Sisters
Sisters and Brothers
Night and Day
Day and Night
Uncles and Aunts
Cousins and Family
Family and Friends
Oceans and Seas
Waves and Sand
Doesn't anybody?
Now understand?
And, can't you now See?
God, what about *Me?
| Author Notes |
*Me: pronoun
/me/ Objective case of I Me or I? 1. Me is used in many constructions where strict gramatarians prescribe I. This usage is not so much ungrammetrical as indictive of the shrinking range of the nominative form: me began to replace I sometime around the 16th century largely because of the pressure of world order. I is now used chiefly as the subject of an immediately following verb. Me occurs in every other position: Absolutely. "Why me?" Emphatically "Me too?" And after prepositions, conjunctions, and verbs including be. Come with me You're as big as me It's me ... Note: Almost all usage books recognize the legitimacy of me, in these positions especially, in speech; some recognize I in formal, and especially written contexts after be, and after as, and then; when the first term of the comparison Is the subject of a verb. ... Note: As I walk the homeless streets, the many homeless people I have and will continue to meet. I can see their pain. I can smell the alcohol on their breath. And, I truly wonder how much long do they have before death? ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'cakemp55 Their Incredible Picture Entitled, "Colorful breakfast" |
By Ricky1024
"Way too Hot!"
(For Dawn Deborah Reel)
Written on February 15th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �© Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
The tremendous heat's bearing down on me with shame, calling out my name.
Yes, it's illegal almost Medieval.
Sickly playing it's trivial game.
But God, it was me to blame.
...
She came not in the night but by daylight with her pityfull cry.
Cry of pain.
Feigning, gaining, as her claws.
Digging in with her "Game of Sin!"
...
Claiming to be abandoned, alone, all night til day.
Then she called my number.
God, I'm the blame.
"No Place to Call Home"
I fell for it like a mangy dog with no bone.
...
But God, she instead took a Big Bite out of me.
And, I fell.
"Hook, Line, and Sinker!"
Hooked on the side of my already Ailing Heart.
Tearing the remainder...
APART!
Yes, I'm an Intellectual thinker but you see as for me?
...
My Heart.
My Broken Token of Heart.
Still had a sliver.
Sliver of Humanity.
But God, even Humanity can sometimes turn Evil.
And, the Heat?
Burning inside of me?
Seems like that all I have left.
All that I now Got.
And, God it's building and getting.
"Way too *Hot!"
| Author Notes |
*Hot: adjective
/hot/ 1. Having a relatively high temperature. "Doctor Ricky is getting way too Hot!" ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'Wolfdancer13' Their Incredible Picture Entitled, "Descending Sun" |
By Ricky1024
"Just Believe?"
Written on February 18th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
Homelessness Factor:#8
Homelessness Days #35
...
When all Hope seems drained.
As Waves of Regression.
And Endless Pain.
When you and your Heart of Hearts.
Seem broken, torn apart and taken away.
No more are things the same that day?
...
As you walk the Trail and Path.
Trail of Oblivion and Shame.
And, finally reaching out.
Reaching out but now you've forgotten.
Forgotten His name?
...
As the Cold and Endless Embers.
Rains down and pours Evermore.
Evermore becomes then nothing?
Nothing but a quote?
Quote Poes Raven..
"Nevermore"
...
As the Blackened Clouds.
Now glitter in Hate and Distain.
As they now gather overhead.
So, So, many tears that you now?
Pray and wish you were Dead?
As you wonder why?
Why God am I?
...
Just take one Last Step.
Look overhead with...
One last Hope.
One last Pain
One last Shame.
One last Tear.
And, finally.
Finally, it becomes perfectly Clear.
...
As you again.
Call out His name.
With one last thought.
And, one Final Last time.
Time to Grieve.
"Just *Believe?"
| Author Notes |
*Believe: verb
/be.lieve/ 1. accept (something) as true, feel sure of the truth of. "the superintendent believed Lancaster's story" Similar: be concerned of, trust. 2. hold (something) as an opinion; think or suppose. " I believe we already met?" Similar: think, be of the opinion that. ... Note: I believe in order to truly believe. We must first realize there is a God. You must have accept that there is a God. Then pray and truly, "Just Believe?" Note: At least 20 people die every day because they are experiencing homelessness in America. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer 'cleo85' Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Believe in Miracles" |
By Ricky1024
"Two Two Twenty Three"
(5:22 AM. E ST.)
Written on February 20th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
Homeless Day: #38
Homeless Factor: 5.
They come as they go.
Yes, the Broken Warriors in the night.
Dark Encircled eyes that hold no surprise.
Emanciated from barely a meal a day.
Unfortunately living for something they'll never achieve?
"The Light of Day"
..
There's not much there to say.
The scars run deep in every different way?
The stories are also almost always the same.
Been there done that now?
"Playing the Game"
...
Stubble bearded faces, dirty and greasy hair, ragged clothes; hardly enough for an average person to wear.
Something's missing.
And, something's out of place.
All somehow have fallen from Grace.
...
Some live in tents.
I understand within sheltered woods but when the temperatures suddenly drop?
They come in and seek warmer shelters.
(If they're allowed as if they could?)
Many have burned bridges and suffered as they should.
Never do they complain for most of even forgotten whom they are and even their *Name?
| Author Notes |
*Name: noun
/name/ 1. labeled entity "John forgotten her name" ... Note: Each and every day. Twenty people die in the United States from being homeless. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'meg119' Meg's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Hobo Highway" |
By Ricky1024
"All Tis Lost?"
Written on March 7th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �©ï¸? Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
Times of no matter.
Now just a chest of memories. Inadvertedly.
Singular seating movies all alone. Sentenced to this Endless Misery and Pain.
God, why is it always the same?
...
For It now seems to me.
That all that shell remains?
Are Templates of my past life .
First, lost the only son and then shortly later.
Yes, the only wife!
Seemingly God, there's no Hope now left for me?
...
Continuously God, I cry but my tears are dry.
Why?
From all those lost and wasted years? But in this mistate of being.
The Dreams?
There's no longer dreams?
God, instead replaced with Nightmarish Screams!
...
Yes God.
I can still see faces but they're just alone and blank stares!
Yes, as if I'm no longer there?
God am I more dead now than alive?
...
Ashes to Ashes of mounting mounds of Dust that must?
I know in my Broken of Heart I'm doing my best.
My best with this Life to again start.
But when ever Eye sleep,?
I am blind with No Counting of Sheep?
As musical reality's melodies of unarranchattered notes.
Always seemingly Unarranged and deranged.
Nothing but tossed?
*Lost"
| Author Notes |
*Lost: adjective
/lost/ 1. not knowing where you are and how to get to a place. "Kelly was lost and didn't know her way home" Note: Common things that are lost. Keys, glasses, cell phones. I'm usually pretty good with things like this, but one time. A long time ago. After losing my son and wife. I lost my mind. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'helvi2' Helvi2's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Daydreaming of Flowers" |
By Ricky1024
"All is Now Lost and Hopeless?"
Written on March 8th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �©ï¸? Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
God, I've lost my way and don't know why?
So many tears of loneliness are no surprise.
I've lost my abilities to eat and sleep lost that I am.
God, on this "One-Way Street."
...
Faceless people are now all around me but I hear not a single word? What's wrong with me?
My mind is spinning.
Around and Around and Around again.
...
Yes, I lost in this place.
Place of "Upside Down Frownd."
Yes, and no more Grace?
Nothing but bitterness.
Bitterness can I taste?
...
God can't you hear my plee?
What's wrong with me?
Everything is much more difficult now for me.
Can't You See?
I can't hardly even button my shirt nor let alone watch TV!
What's going on with *Me?
| Author Notes |
*Me: pronoun.
/me/ 1. The objective case of I, used a direct or indirect object. "They asked me where I was but I did not know?" ... Note: Depression comes in many forms from mild to severe with psychotic syndromes. ... I had the more severe form of this and it is true. Your mind slows down so much that you can't even care for yourself. You don't want to groom yourself anymore. You just want to sleep or die. ... Note: If you know somebody that's feeling chronic like this severely depressed and possibly Suicidal. Then please call the National Suicide Hotline at 988. Thanks, 24.. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, ' |
By Ricky1024
"Silence Calling"
Written on March 20th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
Among the Continuous Darkness of Gloom.
I await in this room.
Gutteraled snores and noise some more the accompanying music of my nights.
I assemble and gather these individual thoughts accompanied with ink.
Thoughts I think and neatly aligne,
"Only One, Single, Letter, at a Time.
...
Quietly, I write in my Darkness of Silence this night.
And, with these thoughts in my Saddened head.
An adhesion of moments, moments long lost and once Dead.
...
He notices me and sees all.
Yes, trying desperately as the Sorried Earth bawls.
He mourns in Gloom and also, also alone in his room.
An Anguish he brings to me since Dead.
..
Yes, shattered tis Eye as I can no longer see.
Blinded by the Truth of this Reality.
So ripe these written thoughts from he.
Bursting forth for all to now See.
Yes, and now you get to see.
As the Darkness slowly, covers over me.
...
Yes, I can't change this Fate and Destiny.
What will be?
What will be my Reality?
No longer should my Pain cry out in Vain.
Projected to this Enormous amount of Torrential pain.
That's the Liquid Tears ring forth from my sorrowed eyes.
Running forth these minions of tears from the many, many, wasted of years. Eye Am, I as am.
Blind but No More nor less than Mortal man.
...
For if it now?
Well then ask of me.
This is my Realty.
Yes, for "No Man is an Island."
Meant to be Forever alone.
...
Note: Entered as another Chapter in this book of No Man hath a *Home.
| Author Notes |
*Home: noun
/home/ 1. house, living place, abode. tom loved in a Shelter not a home" ... Note: On March 31st, 2023. It will make Twenty years; twenty years that I have been living all alone without my Son and then eventually without my wife. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer 'cleo85' 'Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Silence at Sunrise" |
By Ricky1024
"Last Day to Believe?"
Written on March 21th, 2024
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �?�© Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
January 13th, 2022.
(Friday the thirteenth)
I became for the first time in my Life. "Homeless."
And, at one point it came back to Haunt, curse me.
These feelings of hate for just two people.
God, they won't go away!
I just want them both to die or suffer.
Suffer like I do each and every day!
Yes, because I helped and tried to
"Just Believe."
Believe that this woman was real and needed my help as a friend.
This monster I shall come to know as Dawn Deborah Reel.
Aka "Dee, Dee"
...
Sixty-eight days.
Days of where the Hell?
God, am I going to stay?
Who is going to help?
Help me but why?
As all these "Homeless Feelings."
Yes, that I now have come to realize.
Realize and would cry.
...
Realize that eventually all my many and Beautiful Belongings.
My Beautiful pictures of my family!
My clothing, jewelry, poetry, and other important possessions.
Possessions that I had been forced and left behind.
...
Like a child with no rights.
And, now wandering the streets alone at night.
Yes, my belongings now would be disposed of or placed in a storage facility.
They even punished my poor cat.
Those Dirty Rays!
Yes, whom my landlord Joesph came to love?
...
Yes, like me would be dumped in a shelter without my permission!
All because of his evil thoughts of me watching the televisions transmission!
All because I like to shower babe at least three times a day?
By the cruelty of not only this woman,
"Dee, Dee.'
But also my former friend Joseph Vigil.
...
So God, now I would learn how the Homeless people survive.
Some that lived in make-shift tents but will come in out of the Extreme cold .
And, into the shelters such as
"Just Believe."
And, "True Vine."
And, the others with no place to live.
They enclosed and surrounded themselves.
Yes, each and every day.
Within the Sin of their alcoholic Nightmares of past Life.
...
Yes, addictions were the main problem.
As I wait in the horrible cold.
Sometimes for the second trip. Because the vehicle was so filled.
I saw that these people getting on the
"Just Believe" van.
...
No longer believed.
Tired, run down, cold, and in pain.
Some had previously left their hidden dark place, after puncturing the vein.
Yes, were asked if they had drank and how much they had drank. .
Some of them had even wet themselves.
Others would share marijuana weed together.
Like it was a normal ritual right before the van would pick them up.
...
Even though I was homeless and my funds were limited.
Yes, I would still hand out $20 bills.
Yes to those.
Those I felt really needed the money and weren't going to drink themselves away.
Note: Each and every day in the United States.
Two hundred homeless people die because of their individual situations.
...
Note: "Just Believe" is a Code Blue warming shelter located in Toms River, New Jersey.
It needs to be below 35 degress for the shelter to open.
...
Started by Pat and his wife.
Pat is a recovered alcoholic.
And runs the facility with many other former homeless people who had addictions their selves.
...
As I came to know the staff.
interact with them, I realized these are the "Real people."
With just past problems.
They now work and have jobs.
They also own their own houses or are almost back to that point.
While, giving completely of themselves!
...
Two of the people I came to know.
One called himself "Philly."
He was in charge of running the facility.
Philly is the Enforcer with the largest Broken heart .
Yeah just got out of the hospital I believe for cancer.
Keeping the peace and also in charge of pickups.
And, then there was another broken Soul.
Another patch suicide victim .
I came to know and love known as "Donna."
...
Who spends many hours interacting and serving the food to the members.
Food that's cooked and prepared by the Toms River culinary art school and donated!
...
Donna a former Female MMA boxer.
Had tried to commit suicide only three years ago.
She has had a hard life with one of her sons whom was addicted to heroin.
Yes, and died several times.
...
Note: Donna's husband is a former musician.
(Whom also still plays)
Spends time driving the vehicle and also is a recovered addict.
Many others also generated many hours.
We celebrated four birthday parties.
And, one was for my little friend Rowan,
This 8-year-old whom acted much older.
Yes, interacted with all of the members of "Just Believe."
And, I came to love him so much.
...
He noticed that I like to wear very large Invicta watches.
So, I went out and bought him a watch at the local Walmart for his birthday.
Yes, which came with a little flashlight!
I bought an Invicta Joker watch for our resident joker Philly!
He kept pestering me that it was his birthday!
Just the month before in January.
And asked me when I was getting him a watch.
...
I will never forget my experience was teaching Rowan how to shoot pool with one hand!.
And all the wonderful memories and time spent there at "Just Believe!"
Who is the son of one Pat and his wife Lisa.
....
Then there is Kevin
Kevin whom would occasionally spend the night.
And, also drive the van to pick us up. He also had a job working on Long Beach Island,, New Jersey.
A past and still struggling recovered alcoholic.
Once in a while, he would stop and buy Wawa coffee for the gang.
Yes, before returning us to the transit station and the cold.
...
I realize how wonderful people can still be.
Yes, and even after their past problems.
And I do now Believe!
Yes, that hopefully that there is Hope for *Mankind.
| Author Notes |
*Mankind:noun
/man.kind/ ... 1. human beings considered collectively, the human race. "research for the benefit of all mankind" Note: at least 20 people purchasing homelessness die each and every day in America they die in cars, tense, shelters and in the streets almost all these deaths are preventable. ... 7877 deaths 2020 across 73 US cities and counties. 6,362 deaths 2019 across 80 US cities and counties. 6,340 deaths 2018 and in 79 cities and counties. ... Note: Experts believe since there is no official headcount. That people dying from Homelessness, each and every year in United States. Would and could be estimated between 17,000 to 40,000. And God all of our precious lambs? ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review this Talented Artist, 'surp' Their Incredible Picture Entitled, "Upside Down" |
By Ricky1024
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.
"Two to Zero"
Written on April 1st, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
Homeless Day Number: 78 days.
Enter into my Twilight Zone!"
Rod Sterling TV Show
Circa: September to June 1959 to 1964
...
"There's No place Like Home"
The song from the 1939 movie
"The Wizard of Oz"
Originally written by Frank Baum.
...
Now what does it feel like to not have a home to come home too??
Did not have a roof over your head nor a place to lay it?
What does it feel like when you're traveling day today? Wondering where you're going to be spending the next evening inside or out?
...
These are just some of the thoughts of a homeless person.
Homeless persons are basically either forced into this position by stupidity or fate.
A lot of them are also hopelessly addicted.
The common choice of addictions that I've seen is alcoholism followed by tobacco, marijuana and whatever synthetic drugs the person can manage to get high from.
...
Most of the people I have met have good hearts. They just have made big mistakes.
Some have restraining orders against them like I used to and others also deserved it.
...
People who are chronically homeless have learned how to survive.
The old timers actually live in woods and have set up quite an interesting network of living ability.
Some have very large tents even with a full bed inside.
Some work part-time, taking whatever job they can get for whatever money just to survive.
A high degree are trying to get on disability.
...
Yes, this is the world of the homeless.
A place in Avenue, a street, a corner, a box and shelter.
"Chilled to the Bone"
"No Place like my Home?"
"Home Alone"
No Man Nor Woman is Meant to be an Island.
Part of the problem homelessness is being completely alone on your own. Unable to take care of yourself again.
As I write these words down with a pen.
Icycle-Like Daggers Freeze and Dig Ever Deeply...
And, Unfortunately.
As the Grim Reaper awaits and Creeps.
Many actually die from hypothermia in their sleep.
...
Note: By applying these proportions from 27 cities to the National PIT count (where the PIT report counted nearly 553,000 individuals), it is estimated
that between 17,500 and
46,500 deaths occured in 2018.
These figures should not be interpreted as firm estimates of total annual Homeless Deaths.
| Author Notes |
Special yh as nks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ.
Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer, 'Dr. Ricky 1034: His Incredible Picture Entitled, "Pink Pussy Willows" |
By Ricky1024
"Eighty-Seven Days"
Written on April 10th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
Yes from Crappy rooms to video court Zoom.
Superior Court to Township Court and back to Superior again.
Perhaps I'm cursed in reverse?
After all life for me ain't as simple as simple can possibly be?
...
I travel early by Moon light absorbing Lunas glow.
(Don't you know?)
Early morning cup of Joe.
Heads spinning and necks aching.
Ran out if Advil but Lord God?
Are you Still forsaking?
...
Trapped and Enrapped, simply Cocooned in my Lonely Room of Continous Doom.
No more room at the Inn.
Money's now kinda thin.
This mess that I'm Sinfully in.
...
Overcharged in Indian cheap hotel, cheated.
Perhaps Satan's next I'll be meeting?
Bike stolen as cables cut.
Kinda never hungry though with this current Pain in my gut.
Comp rooms taken away cause there isn't much funds to go gambling this day.
...
Day to Night, Night back to Day.
Losing all sense of time this way.
Never know where's the next place to Stay but that's okay.
Cause don't you yet know?
Still got my "Cup of Joe."
| Author Notes |
Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and Hos Only Son Jesus Christ.
Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Amazing Writer and Talented Artist, 'Doctor Ricky1024' His Incredible Picture Entitled, "Hot Cup of Joe" |
By Ricky1024
"Robbery 102!"
Written on April 25th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
Steal my Heart break It and then forsake it.
Steal my Soul and take it away!
Then take my all.
My family and life this day?
You see?
Why don't you take all of Me?
...
Now you take my house my place to live.
Yes, and all my belongings too!
And, that's all that you give?
Perhaps this is your "Ultimate Job?"
To Take and Take and Take away?
To Steal and To Steal and Steal some more?
Lie to the police and force me out my door!
Now, I finally had figured out your deal!
Perhaps there's nothing about you that is *Reel?
| Author Notes |
*Reel:
Note This is the last name of Daen Deborah Reel. Aka, "Miss Dee, Dee" A 55-year-old former alcoholic with six priors in court for alcoholic driving and in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. ... I need a big mistake giving her my phone number and helping her out. In two and a half months I spent $1,000 helping her feeding her clothing her giving her a place to stay putting gas in her car. And, giving her a helping hand. ... Note: She claims she was indigent. No place to go. No money and had not bathed in a week, nor eat in three days.. This is a dangerous non-church going Catholic woman. Yes, who plays a good praying game. And, who's also a slip and fall expert. Claiming because of her supposed? Head injuries a child? And, that she's diagnosed with a fourth grade education. Under "Child Protective Services." ... This is a very clever demon from Hell who has preyed on older men from South Carolina back to New Jersey. From North Carolina to Texas and back to Florida. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'supergold' And, Supergold's Incredible Picture, "the shoplifter" |
By Ricky1024
"Written Words from Me"
Written on April 29th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �© Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
106 days hath now past since I've last seen "God's Light."
And, I am compelled now to write.
It's 4:58 a.m.
I'm bonded, bound, wrapped, as if Cocooned and Entombed.
Yes, in this Pitiful existence of Homelessness.
...
Now, even though my Sorried Life?
Lost the Son on then the Wife.
Will never again be the same.
And I will always forever be carrying this tremendous Pain.
I most certainly shall continue.
Continue forward playing this Evil, Stupid, and Invictive Game.
They now are the ones whom are guilty and shrouded in Shame.
And, they never will ever care about me.
...
Me, my possessions, or my very own family.
Yes, but what they don't realize about me?
Yes!
That I am a Warrior and I will never stop stop until there's *Victory!
| Author Notes |
*Victory: noun
/victory/ or opponent in a battle 1. An act of defeating an enemy or other competition. "The Ultimate Victory will be mine!" Note: After living in my friend's house 1078 Treasure Avenue since June 3rd 2023. A man I've known for 17 years. The middle of last October I helped it indigent woman who had not eaten in 3 days or bathed in one week. After caring for this person for 2 and 1/2 months it turned on me like a rapid dog! It went to the local police department after we had a heated argument and lied that I had a gun and I was going to shoot it and it was knives hidden all around my living space. This has been an ongoing issue in and out of superior court and now into township court. There will be more on this later. 24. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'lynnkah' And, Lynnkah's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Always A Warrior" |
By Ricky1024
"Homeless Day Number 118"
Written on May 11th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
Shitt* outlets with stubborn TVs.
Stained and soiled beds
I guess God, no Sugar Plums to be dancing tonight through my head.
Perhaps God?
Yes, right here where I will soon lay.
Someone died here that day?
...
Cracked and scratched mirrors images odd?
No Windex for this poltergeist job!
Dirty carpets and comforters.
Comforting to know, so dirty too.
God, can this be true?
These are a few of my most favorite things!
...
Tiny microwaves and fridge.
Some ants in my coffee and food.
Bathroom so damn nasty you don't want to open the damned lid!
...
Well God, I'm tired.
So, I guess it's time to get a little rest?
And, at best?.
I'll ask the corpse.
Can you say Windex please?
It's okay Honey.
And, I hope you didn't die from a nasty disease?
Maybe he or she wants my company?
| Author Notes |
Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ.
Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'TNP PHOTOGRAPHY' TNP's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Down & Dirty" |
By Ricky1024
"Nomads"
Written on July 8th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky
1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
Nomadic migration, symbolic mediation.
From Nation to Nation.
Camelback riders, sand sliders.
From coast to coast.
(You get the most!)
...
Like you now imagine gypsies.
We stay where we can.
Can hardly afford...
"The Modern Man"
Stumpy hotels..
Taxed and taxed some more.
...
Rub a dub dub!
Even no stopper in the tubs!
TV?
Hardly any reception!
Comforter!
Cigarette holes..
No comfort and the TV is is horrid.
Swimming pool?
Now come on don't be a fool!
And all the things that you're charged for are done like Uncaring fools!
Soon as you open your camels wallet?
Yes, they Drool!
...
Nomadic in a panic!
Yes, cause we got no time!
No Time to even rhyme.
Just, One Wa, Wa, gas station at a time.
| Author Notes |
Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ.
Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'supergold' Supergold's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Tuareg on the Beach" ' |
By Ricky1024
"Take Over Me?"
Written on August 1st, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �?�©�¯�¸? Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved
Take Over Me?
Can't you see?
That I'm blinded.
Blinded by Thee..
(Red Crying eyes).
...
Take Over Me?
Now can't you see?
See what's within Me?
(Foggy eyes)
...
Take Over Me?
Are you now beginning to see?
See the Best of Me?
Forgot the Worst of Me?
Disperse of Me.
For I am only Human
As Human as *Thee.
| Author Notes |
*Thee: noun
/Thee/ 1. archaic or dialect form of you as the singular object of a verb or preposition Note: Pride is one of the worst form of human connection . Introducing the . Seven Deadly Sins kicking it off. Who's ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and amazing writer, 'cleo85'. Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "on the dark side of life" |
By Ricky1024
"Forever Homeless"
Written on August 2nd, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
God, forever and ever am eye.
Like a Bittered, Black, Diamond in a Blu sky.
Sometimes eye wonderl why and no longer can see?
No longer see the value in me?
...
God, You know I've been trying and this current test.
I'm not lying.
Don't know how much more I can take?
God, I'm hanging in there and will not forsake.
But it's getting too, too, much for me to take.
...
I prayed for this day when I would no longer be.
Be all alone and it's now been almost "Twenty.
But Lord God, is this a Union and Togetherness?
And, is this what eye been searching.
Searching for?
Am I blind and can no longer see?
God, is this the reason that eye be?
Yes, I'm so damned, Blessed.
But Lord God, why am eye so **Stressed?
| Author Notes |
*Twenty: noun
/Twenty/ 1. Number. Note: On November 23rd, 2024. And, eight months after the loss of our only Son Jason Richard Smrkovsky. ... Yes, it will be exactly Twenty years since my wife Carolyn Ann Richmond Harbach Smrkovsky took her life. ... **Stressed: adjective /,stressed/ 1. emotion of feeling overwhelmed with life. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist as well as Amazing Writer, 'Doctor. Ricky 1024' And, his Incredible Picture Entitled, "Cloudy Day" |
|
You've read it - now go back to FanStory.com to comment on each chapter and show your thanks to the author! |
| © Copyright 2015 Ricky1024 All rights reserved. Ricky1024 has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work. |
© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Statement