By Esther Brown
Ben and Owen, Morgan was seven years old when she left us. My heart aches for both of you. I want you to have some stories of your sister to remember and read together.
She was a curly-headed imp, my bringer of joy. Our first grandchild.
I was there watching her climb the big tree over the porch. Ben, you were sitting in the front seat of the car pretending to drive. She was like a little monkey way up high, laughing through the leaves at me. I was proud she was such a good tree climber.
Grandpa had to go inside, and told her to get down out of the tree so she wouldn't get hurt. She came most of the way down, then giggled. "Don't be silly Grandpa!" The monkey started climbing up the tree again. I can see it slow motion in my memory but I cannot remember hearing any sounds. Her foot slipped at the V barely 6 feet up. She fell straight back between the brick planter and hit the back of her head on the edge of the deck. No breaking branches.
I ran to her, screaming for my Gary to come, and felt for a carotid pulse. It was strong, but she was not breathing. The space she fell into was about 12 inches wide. Squeezed next to her I did rescue breathing, carefully doing a chin lift without movement of the neck. Concentrating on the rise and fall of her chest and her pink warm skin. I dimly recollect sounds of sirens, cops’ feet on the deck, someone touching my shoulder and taking my spot, then someone else helped me up.
My manly man was crying, begging one cop to arrest him. They had her on a board by then and intubated, carrying her past the car in the driveway and loading her into the ambulance. One cop took Grandpa with him, then they were gone.
I was standing on the deck, Ben beside me. Total silence. I was not in the habit of carrying my phone so I doubt I had it on me. Someone must have called your parents because I knew they were on the way to the medical center. She had been life-flighted. I heard the helicopter. I tried to explain what had happened but wasn’t sure Ben understood. We sat side by side on the porch swing, hugging. Finally Ron came and took Ben to his house.
My next memories were of being in the hall outside the pediatric ICU. Only immediate family was allowed. Grandpa didn’t come in. She had IVs everywhere and her head was wrapped in bandages. I know she had a skull flap and multiple brain procedures and scans, but that is a curse to know what goes on medically to someone you love.
We talked with her, and felt she was still present with us. One time I was absently checking for a reflex, running a finger down the sole of her foot. The toes curled. I checked again, and again before I asked “can you feel Grandma tickling your foot? If you can, curl your toes again”. Her parents and I all saw it happen. Again. Several times. Of course that brought the team running. They ran scans again, but nothing. No more movement. Then we were alone again with her machines.
Sometime later It felt like she was leaving. I was talking to her about my mom (whose birthday it was that day). I told her Great Grandma was in heaven celebrating her birthday today with Jesus. One lone tear slipped out of the corner of her eye. I don’t know if anyone saw it besides me. When I talked to Uncle RIck, he told me “Jesus is with her in the room. He says her body is too broken for her to come back”. It was a comfort to my heart to know Jesus took her home to the birthday party and my mom was waiting for her.
By Esther Brown
“Sex lights!” Grandpa Gary muttered, as he slowed his truck to a stop on the side of the road. Morgan’s blue eyes widened as the uniformed cop got out of the police car and came to Grandpa’s window. I quickly checked my middle seat belt and the security of Morgan’s car seat next to the window. It is legal to seat a child in the front seat when there is no crew cab, right? Gary has a CDL and never speeds. Maybe a light was out?
“Don’t worry Morgan, it will be fine,” I reassured her, whispering.
“Sir, did you realize you were speeding?” His eyes swept past me to Morgan, the adorable toddler with the curls.
Morgan smiled sweetly, leaning forward so he could hear her. “Grandpa drinks whiskey!” The officer suppressed a grin, shook his head and wrote the ticket, chuckling all the way back to his car.
Author Notes | Another short bit about my grand daughter Morgan. She was a chatterbox and had an impressive vocabulary. Grandpa, on the other hand, has his own way of communicating. Thankfully she did not ask what "sex lights" were. |
By Esther Brown
“Grandpa, are you awake yet?” Morgan pulls his upper eyelid up and peers into his blue eye.
He lets out a long exaggerated snore, sounding like a snuffling boar. Morgan giggles loudly. She isn’t fooled. Grandma is better at pretending to be asleep. Or maybe I am more scary to wake up.
“Good. I am going to do the hula for you!”
I peek. Morgan is dressed in her pink frothy skirt and a blue bra made of anesthesia masks stolen from Grandma's surgery supplies. Her smoochable tummy is bare. She skips to the CD player, and starts IZZY. Hawaiian music to hula to, our favorite love songs.
Morgan brought sunshine to our lives.
Author Notes |
Gary and I went to Hawaii for our honeymoon. Izzy's somewhere over the rainbow was our song. My mom was in Hawaii and taught me to hula dance. This memory is for you mom.
Ben and Owen: your sister was a morning person like your dad. Sleeping in just was not an option! |
By Esther Brown
Morgan is wiggling next to me in her car seat. Grandpa Gary is driving.
“Grandpa are we there yet?” Slightly whiny.
“Nope, 45 minutes.” Matter of fact.
I kept reading my book. Five minutes later, more wiggles.
“Grandpa are we there yet???” Definitely whiny now.
“Do you need to go potty?” After the tree experience, Grandpa tried to anticipate these things.
Morgan shook her curls.
“Hey Munchkin, lets play a game.” I said, putting aside my book, hoping to help pass the time until our next stop. “I am going to Paris, and I am going to take my motorcycle”.
She knew the game. “I am going to Paris with Grandma and I am going to take your motorcycle and my gummy worms.” Giggling.
“ I am going to Paris and I am going to take my motorcycle, your gummy worms and my book.”
She decided to take icecream, and my plan fizzled. She was not enthused about my taking a book.
After about 10 minutes she was bored again.
“Grandpa, are we there yet?”
“Nope, 45 minutes”.
Author Notes | It always took 45 minutes. Until she learned to tell time. We would "arrive" and she would pose in front of the sign. Rain or shine. Grandpa would snap a picture. Every road we took her with us is marked off. Now we are doing it with her brother Ben. Owen...must be time to start exploring! The picture is of Grandpa and our pup Jazzy, Morgan was in the back with me. |
By Esther Brown
“Morgan, do you know what this is?” I overheard Grandpa Gary asking our 3 year old grand-daughter.
“That is a GUN!” She announced with delight.
I shuddered inside. There had recently been an episode where a child found a parent's gun and shot someone. Grandpa has a large collection of guns in his safe and knows how to use them. He keeps them locked up and I couldn't imagine him showing them to Morgan. Uncomfortable, I quit eavesdropping and moved out of range.
Unbeknownst to me, Grandpa had decided she was old enough to teach gun safety.
About an hour later, I heard a shriek from the bathroom. “Grandpa, Grandpa I FOUND THE GUN!!!!
She streaked to the safety of his arms, almost sobbing. “I didn’t touch it, I promise! I came right away to tell you!
Gary hugged her. “It is OK Morgan. I will take care of it right away. Thank you for telling me. You did the right thing.” Her terror was quite real. Shame on him! I consoled her with a cookie and a glass of milk.
Sober-faced, Gary went to his top bathroom drawer and removed the gun-shaped lighter. It was a set up. Little girls love to snoop in bathroom drawers. I relaxed. Never touch a gun, run tell a grownup. Lesson learned.
Author Notes | I am working on a collection of stories about Morgan our grand-daughter who died in an accident at age seven. So many precious memories. As Gary would say, guns don't shoot people, people do. Kids need to learn gun safety before they find one. I personally love shooting Cheetos lined up in the sand with Morgan's pink BB gun. Pictured is Grandpa's "Salt Gun" with which he destroys spiders. |
By Esther Brown
“Grandpa, I have to pee”.
“Can you wait?”
“Nooooo”. She wails.
“OK.” Grandpa pulls into a likely looking park, but no, there are no little girl restrooms.
Munchkin looks desperate.
“Grandpa, I don’t see the bathroom!”
“It is over there behind the tree.”
She runs. Looks around the tree. “Grandpa, it isn’t behind the tree!”
“Maybe behind that other tree?”.
“No, it isn’t behind this one either”.
“Go back to the first one. It is behind the first tree like I said”.
An older lady nearby says, “Her first time?”
“Yep.”
Munchkin figures it out, and all is well.
Author Notes | Grandpa taught our grand daughter lots of things...to love the outdoors, trees, road trips and adventuring. Along with peeing outside. Yeah Grandpa. |
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