| Humor Fiction posted November 13, 2020 |
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I Voted Contest Entry
And We Still Lost
by DragonSkulls
I voted Contest Winner
The author has placed a warning on this post for violence.
I voted, but I'll tell you, it was no easy task. It all started on the evening of November third, election day. Apparently I'm the only registered Republican in my precinct because every yard for miles from my house was littered with endless Democratic signs and banners. All my neighbors, who despise my very existence, knew how I would be voting that day.
Shortly after dinner, I left the house to go vote. While locking my door is when it all began. I turned around and the first thing I saw was a 'Vote Democrat' sign blasting me in the face. I bounced off the door and fell to the ground where my neighbors, Bob, Jeff and his wife, started kicking me. I got my footing and grabbed Brenda's legs as I leapt up, lifting her off the ground and body slamming her on the sidewalk. Bob took a swing but I blocked it, then did a spinning round house kick for his skull. He smashed clear through my front bay window as Jeff came in to tackle me. I grabbed his left arm, turned and yanked him over my back, flipping him right on top of his wife.
I jumped in my car and backed out the driveway. Right then, my neighbor, Mike, directly across the street, tore out of his own driveway with his Ford Bronco and t-boned me, flipping my car back into my yard. I scrambled out as he raced towards me with a ball bat. Before he could get a swing in, I lunged and kicked him square in the groin. As he was still bellowing in pain, I jumped in his truck and took off.
The family in the house on the corner was standing in the street to block me, foolishly thinking I wouldn't run them down. They were wrong. I stomped on the gas and plowed right over all of them...even little Billy. These democratic pukes weren't going to keep me from my patriotic civic duty.
Halfway there, Emma and Ralph Willson raced up beside me in their Honda Accord and tried ramming me off the road. I slammed on the brakes. They missed and I smashed into the rear of them and Ralph lost control. Their car flipped three times before it careened over the edge of the Gaston Bridge.
Just a block away from the library, there was Mayor Holden on his motorcycle, in the middle of the street, with a .45 aimed right at me. I ducked as three bullets shattered the windshield but kept going. When I plowed over him and his bike, the brake lines severed.
With only three minutes left, I dove out of the truck before it crashed into the library. I ran in, yanked a ballot from a poll worker's hand, darted into the booth and quickly filled it out.
When I walked out of the building, I stood up tall, then proudly slapped my 'I Voted' sticker onto my torn, blood splattered shirt.
I voted, but I'll tell you, it was no easy task. It all started on the evening of November third, election day. Apparently I'm the only registered Republican in my precinct because every yard for miles from my house was littered with endless Democratic signs and banners. All my neighbors, who despise my very existence, knew how I would be voting that day.
Shortly after dinner, I left the house to go vote. While locking my door is when it all began. I turned around and the first thing I saw was a 'Vote Democrat' sign blasting me in the face. I bounced off the door and fell to the ground where my neighbors, Bob, Jeff and his wife, started kicking me. I got my footing and grabbed Brenda's legs as I leapt up, lifting her off the ground and body slamming her on the sidewalk. Bob took a swing but I blocked it, then did a spinning round house kick for his skull. He smashed clear through my front bay window as Jeff came in to tackle me. I grabbed his left arm, turned and yanked him over my back, flipping him right on top of his wife.
I jumped in my car and backed out the driveway. Right then, my neighbor, Mike, directly across the street, tore out of his own driveway with his Ford Bronco and t-boned me, flipping my car back into my yard. I scrambled out as he raced towards me with a ball bat. Before he could get a swing in, I lunged and kicked him square in the groin. As he was still bellowing in pain, I jumped in his truck and took off.
The family in the house on the corner was standing in the street to block me, foolishly thinking I wouldn't run them down. They were wrong. I stomped on the gas and plowed right over all of them...even little Billy. These democratic pukes weren't going to keep me from my patriotic civic duty.
Halfway there, Emma and Ralph Willson raced up beside me in their Honda Accord and tried ramming me off the road. I slammed on the brakes. They missed and I smashed into the rear of them and Ralph lost control. Their car flipped three times before it careened over the edge of the Gaston Bridge.
Just a block away from the library, there was Mayor Holden on his motorcycle, in the middle of the street, with a .45 aimed right at me. I ducked as three bullets shattered the windshield but kept going. When I plowed over him and his bike, the brake lines severed.
With only three minutes left, I dove out of the truck before it crashed into the library. I ran in, yanked a ballot from a poll worker's hand, darted into the booth and quickly filled it out.
When I walked out of the building, I stood up tall, then proudly slapped my 'I Voted' sticker onto my torn, blood splattered shirt.
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Writing Prompt Write a flash fiction story beginning with the words "I voted - " You can continue the sentence as you wish. Beyond the opening lines there are no rules. Maximum word count is 500 words. |
I voted Contest Winner |
Just goofing with the prompt, folks. Relax.
I created this picture of the Mayor from numerous different Google Images.
Thank you for reading if you actually made it all the way through. Lol.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. I created this picture of the Mayor from numerous different Google Images.
Thank you for reading if you actually made it all the way through. Lol.
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