| General Script posted July 4, 2022 |
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a script
Scene at a Presidential Run 12
by Bill Schott
CAST: Pons Ned Neil Nave (Neil) Campaign Manager (Rip) Porter Reporter Thomas Edison (Tom) Media Specialist Activist1 (Act1) Activist2 (Act2) Activist3 (Act3) Server ( a young woman) The scene opens with Pons and Ned sitting with others at a huge round table at a family restaurant. Pons, Ned, and Neil Nave are seated at center. Rip the Reporter and Tom a media specialist are seated on their right. Three activists are seated on the left. Pons: I want to thank you all for coming to this brunch for Ned's campaign kick-off. Ned: We also depreciate ya payin' fer yer own and bringin' yer own chairs. Neil: By the time we meet again the food and seating will be paid for by the campaign funds. Rip: So, are you already promising people seats in your cabinet? Tom: (speaking to Rip) Have you written your article yet, Rip, or are you waiting for Rupert Murdock to tell you what you think? Rip: Waiting. Act1: Tax the rich, Ned! Act2: No more war, Ned! Act3: Death to capitalist swine! Server: Drinks? Pons: Water for me, thanks. Ned: Soda pop, fer me. Neil: Double bourbon. Server: Only beer or wine, sir. Neil: Mad Dog --bring the bottle. Rip: Six pack of Guiness Server: Gentlemen, I can only serve wine by the glass, and we only have domestic beer. Neil: A tall glass, dear. Rip: Make it a Drewreys, Falstaff, or Schlitz. Server: We have Budweisser, Bud Lite, Miller, Miller Lite, or Pabst Blue Ribbon. Rip: Make it a tumbler of Mad Dog. Server: (turning to Thomas) For you, sir? Tom: Do you have good coffee? Server: With cream, sugar and some imagination. Tom: How is your tea? Server: Tastes like dishwater, if you add the cream and sugar. Tom: Mad Dog then. Act1: Just tap water for me. I want to feel the world's pain. Server: I could dip it from the toilet bowl if you like. Act1: Maybe the urinal; let's not get too crazy. Act2: Is your lemonade made from fresh lemons? Server: Three days ago. Act2: Just make it a Bud Lite. Server: (speaking to the final patron) How about you, sir? Act3: Can I get some of your milk? Server: Goat, cow, almond, or oatmeal? Act3: Maybe -- breast milk? Server: (flatly) What about milk I gargled and spit into a dirty glass? Act3: (gasping) Yes -- thank you. To be continued... 
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