I’ve started a Snow-ly Hearts Club for snow-people who have decided to give love a-snowther chance. After all, I’ve also met too many flakes in my time.

     It occurred to me one winter morning when I was eating a chilly bowl of snowflakes and mountain goat’s milk. I said to ice-self, “Hey, why not help others meet their love of a lifetime? There’s snow time like the present!”

     I signed up for a busin-ice ice-sence and named my new busin-ice “Frost Impressions.” Everyone gets to see a photo of who they will meet for the frost time. I only included the prov-ice-o that it has to be a photo from the last five years. Come to think of it, I need to get a new photo of ice-self as well. Hint: When choosing a photo, you might want to leave your ice-glasses off. After all, you want to show off your ice.

     Members can include their hobbies and outstanding achievements, such as the first time they stood tall through a blizzard with their ice open. You might want to include your favorite kind of exerc-ice or your favorite flavor of ice cream.

     If members of “Frost Impressions” set up a phone call that lasts ten minutes, or a date that lasts at least half an hour, they get rewarded with bo-n-ice points and a twelve-ounce box of snow-mints mailed to their current address. You’re freeze to cancel at any time, especially once spring warms up the rest of the flakes who have been holding out.

     Don’t delay—join “Frost Impressions” today! If you carrot all about your love life, this is a way to meet ice people who will be in the same boat. You don’t want to be left out in the cold…er, that is, why not take a chance on an ice, romantic evening? It cold happen to you, because love ice in the air. It’s yours for the taking at the pr-ice of $9.95 a month.