| Satire Fiction posted February 5, 2023 |
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A fractured fairy tale, sort of ...
After Eve Arrived
by Tom Horonzy
After Eve's Arrrival
Paradise Was Lost
Everything was going swell as I dwelt in what was known as Paradise. Then, for a reason, only God knows why I had a neighbor dropped by my side. Warm and cuddly, as she nestled near, removing all concerning fears.
It looked like me, save for having one appendage removed and two accessories added. I came to find out later why, but I'll keep my thoughts for now.
Moving on, what came along was our ability to communicate mentally, physically, and verbally. It was rather strange, for until then, no other creatures shared words but conversed in conversation with purrs and grunts.
In a way, I wished God had left well enough alone. But, on the other hand, I began to understand. God had a plan that our progeny and we would get to know, including a confusing gift called agency. Through it, we learned all things in life have opposites. Many acts had attached bountiful blessings depending on our selection and how we proceeded. However, on the other hand, if what we selected was not in accord with nature's laws, there came a nuance called consequence, often ending in broken dreams and sorrow.
Point in hand. God allowed Eve and me to do whatever we pleased, save for one caveat. "DO NOT partake of the fruit from the tree of knowledge," which stood out as if it had light shooting from every branch, "for if you do, you shall surely die."
I thought it be easy since the orchard overflowed with dates, figs, peaches, oranges, pomegranates, and fruit on vines. Indeed, we didn't need whatever fruit was over where we were commanded not to go. In addition, there were signs posted reading, do not enter, stay out, no trespassing. Who would ever go against such orders? Came to be a woman would.
This was way before our kids were birthed, and by the way, Eve and I had no understanding of what they were or how they came to be. She should have known by observing that all other living things were creating mini-mes by frolicking upon earthen floors.
I was too dense to understand and not as curious as Eve, who wandered closer to that tree wondering how that could be, when from the brush came Lucifer, exhorting her to trust in him, saying, "Surely you will not die but become all-knowing as Father." So, she decided to forego the warning signs, grabbed a fruit, and took a bite, becoming immediately enlightened on how kids could come about. Then excited, she hurried back with an extra piece of fruit, challenging me to eat to see how delicious it was.
"EVE. How could you?"
"Listen, strong man. Understand. God commanded us to go forth and multiply, right? And had we the knowledge of how to fulfill that requirement? Of course not. So, I took the initiative to find out. I think you'll like it. So, come. Lay with me behind that bush, and I'll show you the ins and outs."
Soon after, God came along and demanded, "what have you done?"
From behind the brush, they mosied out, ashamed in knowing for the first time what naked was, so they cover their particulars and receive the following edict.
"Go from Eden. You now must fend for yourself by the sweat of your brow, for besides learning how to populate the earth, the fruit you ate opened your eyes with knowledge you never held before. You will be on your own. So, beware. Watch out for the briars, and good luck! You'll need it, for just like you two, the children you shall bear will go against your wishes as you have done to your parents."
And that, my friends, is how the first apocalypse came to be, and ever since, the world has seen a continuance of catastrophes throughout history. Ultimately, it can be said human beings are slow learners.
Story of the Month contest entry
After Eve's Arrrival
Paradise Was Lost
Paradise Was Lost
Everything was going swell as I dwelt in what was known as Paradise. Then, for a reason, only God knows why I had a neighbor dropped by my side. Warm and cuddly, as she nestled near, removing all concerning fears.
It looked like me, save for having one appendage removed and two accessories added. I came to find out later why, but I'll keep my thoughts for now.
Moving on, what came along was our ability to communicate mentally, physically, and verbally. It was rather strange, for until then, no other creatures shared words but conversed in conversation with purrs and grunts.
In a way, I wished God had left well enough alone. But, on the other hand, I began to understand. God had a plan that our progeny and we would get to know, including a confusing gift called agency. Through it, we learned all things in life have opposites. Many acts had attached bountiful blessings depending on our selection and how we proceeded. However, on the other hand, if what we selected was not in accord with nature's laws, there came a nuance called consequence, often ending in broken dreams and sorrow.
Point in hand. God allowed Eve and me to do whatever we pleased, save for one caveat. "DO NOT partake of the fruit from the tree of knowledge," which stood out as if it had light shooting from every branch, "for if you do, you shall surely die."
I thought it be easy since the orchard overflowed with dates, figs, peaches, oranges, pomegranates, and fruit on vines. Indeed, we didn't need whatever fruit was over where we were commanded not to go. In addition, there were signs posted reading, do not enter, stay out, no trespassing. Who would ever go against such orders? Came to be a woman would.
This was way before our kids were birthed, and by the way, Eve and I had no understanding of what they were or how they came to be. She should have known by observing that all other living things were creating mini-mes by frolicking upon earthen floors.
I was too dense to understand and not as curious as Eve, who wandered closer to that tree wondering how that could be, when from the brush came Lucifer, exhorting her to trust in him, saying, "Surely you will not die but become all-knowing as Father." So, she decided to forego the warning signs, grabbed a fruit, and took a bite, becoming immediately enlightened on how kids could come about. Then excited, she hurried back with an extra piece of fruit, challenging me to eat to see how delicious it was.
"EVE. How could you?"
"Listen, strong man. Understand. God commanded us to go forth and multiply, right? And had we the knowledge of how to fulfill that requirement? Of course not. So, I took the initiative to find out. I think you'll like it. So, come. Lay with me behind that bush, and I'll show you the ins and outs."
Soon after, God came along and demanded, "what have you done?"
From behind the brush, they mosied out, ashamed in knowing for the first time what naked was, so they cover their particulars and receive the following edict.
It looked like me, save for having one appendage removed and two accessories added. I came to find out later why, but I'll keep my thoughts for now.
Moving on, what came along was our ability to communicate mentally, physically, and verbally. It was rather strange, for until then, no other creatures shared words but conversed in conversation with purrs and grunts.
In a way, I wished God had left well enough alone. But, on the other hand, I began to understand. God had a plan that our progeny and we would get to know, including a confusing gift called agency. Through it, we learned all things in life have opposites. Many acts had attached bountiful blessings depending on our selection and how we proceeded. However, on the other hand, if what we selected was not in accord with nature's laws, there came a nuance called consequence, often ending in broken dreams and sorrow.
Point in hand. God allowed Eve and me to do whatever we pleased, save for one caveat. "DO NOT partake of the fruit from the tree of knowledge," which stood out as if it had light shooting from every branch, "for if you do, you shall surely die."
I thought it be easy since the orchard overflowed with dates, figs, peaches, oranges, pomegranates, and fruit on vines. Indeed, we didn't need whatever fruit was over where we were commanded not to go. In addition, there were signs posted reading, do not enter, stay out, no trespassing. Who would ever go against such orders? Came to be a woman would.
This was way before our kids were birthed, and by the way, Eve and I had no understanding of what they were or how they came to be. She should have known by observing that all other living things were creating mini-mes by frolicking upon earthen floors.
I was too dense to understand and not as curious as Eve, who wandered closer to that tree wondering how that could be, when from the brush came Lucifer, exhorting her to trust in him, saying, "Surely you will not die but become all-knowing as Father." So, she decided to forego the warning signs, grabbed a fruit, and took a bite, becoming immediately enlightened on how kids could come about. Then excited, she hurried back with an extra piece of fruit, challenging me to eat to see how delicious it was.
"EVE. How could you?"
"Listen, strong man. Understand. God commanded us to go forth and multiply, right? And had we the knowledge of how to fulfill that requirement? Of course not. So, I took the initiative to find out. I think you'll like it. So, come. Lay with me behind that bush, and I'll show you the ins and outs."
Soon after, God came along and demanded, "what have you done?"
From behind the brush, they mosied out, ashamed in knowing for the first time what naked was, so they cover their particulars and receive the following edict.
"Go from Eden. You now must fend for yourself by the sweat of your brow, for besides learning how to populate the earth, the fruit you ate opened your eyes with knowledge you never held before. You will be on your own. So, beware. Watch out for the briars, and good luck! You'll need it, for just like you two, the children you shall bear will go against your wishes as you have done to your parents."
And that, my friends, is how the first apocalypse came to be, and ever since, the world has seen a continuance of catastrophes throughout history. Ultimately, it can be said human beings are slow learners.
And that, my friends, is how the first apocalypse came to be, and ever since, the world has seen a continuance of catastrophes throughout history. Ultimately, it can be said human beings are slow learners.
Pexel.com photo by Ali Pazani
While reading Great Short Works of Mark Twain's, I found a novelette entitled The Diary of Adam and Eve. This is a take-off from that story.
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and 2 member cents. While reading Great Short Works of Mark Twain's, I found a novelette entitled The Diary of Adam and Eve. This is a take-off from that story.
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