Excellent Life and death maatters Wisdom : Wisdom 17 by Iza Deleanu

What can we say about life and death matters? Have you ever been in the vicinity of someone that is preparing to die? Trust me is not a beautiful scene. My mom stood next to my grandmother when she passed away. The process of going on the other side is very painful. My grand-mother stayed between life and death for three days. First she refused to eat, then she refused to drink, and she said that she just wants to sleep because is very tired. Then she stopped to talk. The moment that death approached, she started to smile, like finally she has got the answer to all her prayers. In Romania, once your kids are out of the house and married, the old parents are starting to prepare for their death. They buy the place where they are going to be buried, build the grave and even erect the cross and put a picture with no date of course. I think in a way we are close to the ancient Pharos. My grandparents bought everything that was needed for the funeral, all the clothing, shoes and left a note for each towel that supposed to go to a certain person and priest and to the people who were going to carry their coffin to the cemetery. They put lots of money aside for their memorials: and we have a lot to do so we can ensure that they end in a good place and that they will not be hungry. One week, then nine days, then three weeks, three months, six months, nine months and one year. After they die, we leave a cup filled with water for forty days and candles. Also every day we give away hot food. They are saying that the soul of the reposed comes to drink water and also eat the food that we give for the remembrance of their name. For all of these dates we give away for their souls, food, drinks, cups, plate's sweets, see exactly like in ancient Egypt. And every time we call a priest to bless the food and the grave. Next week is my one year father memorial and my grandmother six month memorial. My mom will do a better job than me with these rituals, but I will pay my respects the best I can. She is in Romania with my sister, over there we have an entire "death industry" aka dedicated stores for the commemoration where you find everything you need. I organized a memorial service at my adoptive church, and I will prepare a koliva, a bottle of wine and after the religious service we will go for dinner. This part is complicated because of Covid. People will might not want to come, but is okay. Whoever wants to come, will come. My biggest fear is that I am here and have no kids of my own to do all these rites of passing for me. I wonder if I will ever find peace. My grandmother used to say, to give away free food anytime I can for the remembrance of my soul, preferably to poor people. Now, my dear reader, life and death are complicated matters.   Author Notes Koliva it's a pearl wheat desert that is part of the ritual of commemorating the dead. The picture represents this sweet dish which is mandatory.

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