On the first day of Christmas, my boss he gave to me,
a pink slip I hung up in our tree!
On the second day of Christmas, my wife she gave to me,
too long a gift list,
and my pink slip still hangs up in the tree!
On the third day of Christmas, my kids they gave to me,
three letters to Santa,
my wife's too long list,
and my pink slip still hangs up in the tree!
On the fourth day of Christmas, my neighbor gave to me,
four bags of our dog's poop,
three letters to Santa,
my wife's too long list,
and my pink slip still hangs up in the tree!
On the fifth day of Christmas, my mailman gave to me,
FIVE OVERDUE BILLS!
Four bags of dog's poop,
three letters to Santa,
my wife's too long list,
and my pink slip still hangs up in the tree!
On the sixth day of Christmas, my old car gave to me,
one blown head gasket,
FIVE OVERDUE BILLS!
Four bags of dog's poop,
three letters to Santa,
my wife's too long list,
and my pink slip still hangs up in the tree!
On the seventh day of Christmas, my brother gave to me,
seven squirrels for stewing,
still have a blown gasket,
FIVE OVERDUE BILLS!
four bags of dog's poop,
three letters to Santa,
my wife's too long list,
and my pink slip still hangs up in the tree!
On the eighth day of Christmas, my wife she gave to me,
new divorce papers,
the squirrels she won't be stewing,
still have a blown gasket,
FIVE OVERDUE BILLS!
Four bags of dog's poop,
three letters to Santa,
my wife's too long list,
and my pink slip still hangs up in the tree!
On the ninth day of Christmas, my bank it gave to me,
notice of foreclosure,
new divorce papers,
the squirrels she won't be stewing,
still got a blown gasket,
FIVE OVERDUE BILLS!
Four bags of dog's poop,
three letters to Santa,
my wife's too long list,
and my pink slip still hangs up in the tree!
On the tenth day of Christmas, my son he gave to me,
notice he's in jail, can't afford the bail!
Notice of foreclosure,
new divorce papers,
squirrels still not stewing,
shot to hell head gasket,
FIVE OVERDUE BILLS!
four bags of dog's poop,
three letters to Santa,
my ex-wife long list,
and my pink slip still hangs up in the tree!
On the eleventh day of Christmas, I asked my dad for help.
He said, "There's no way!"
Son's still in Jail,
notice of foreclosure,
new divorce papers,
squirrels for Christmas dinner,
car's at the junk yard,
FIVE OVERDUE BILLS!
four bags of dog's poop,
three letters to Santa,
my ex-wife's long list,
and my pink slip still hangs up in the tree!
On the twelth day of Christmas, this shit all gave to me,
one nervous breakdown,
no help from my dad,
son's still in jail,
Notice of foreclosure,
signed divorce papers,
squirrels have gone rancid,
riding a bike now,
FIVE OVERDUE BILLS!
four bags of dog's poop,
three letters to Santa,
my bitch ex-wife's list,
and of course, my pink slip still hangs in the treeeeee!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
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