When I met my darling
and I pitched my woo,
she led me to believe
we would stick like glue.
She swore we’d be together;
she loved me too.
Now all my suggestions
of what we could do
inspire a grumpy mood —
she’s just bored anew.
I want to take her hiking
in far Peru,
or paddle the Zambezi
in a canoe;
maybe go to China,
to Shanghai Zoo,
and see some cute pandas
chewing their bamboo.
These holiday plans
have got me in a stew.
I think I’ll phone my friends,
Dave and Ben and Lou.
I’ll invite them over
for a beer or two.
My mates will understand
what I’m going through.
******
He’s at it again —
he has got a loose screw.
I sure don’t want to do
what he wants to do.
I think I’ll pretend
I’ve come down with the flu.
I’d rather stay at home
and enjoy this view,
not gawking at
a weird-looking kangaroo.
We need new curtains,
perhaps a pretty blue,
and I want to go shopping;
I broke my shoe.
My husband has never
had the vaguest clue.
Go, get a one-way ticket
to Timbuktu!
His interests, clearly,
I long ago outgrew.
He hasn’t noticed
what years ago I knew.
I see he’s roaring drunk now,
on his home brew.
I’ll phone my new lover —
my lifestyle guru.
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