Exceptional A letter to God Citadel of eternity by Pangalactic Dear God contest entry

Dear God, Let me first apologize for not innately understanding what you are and for questioning if you exist at all. I am not a follower of the Bible nor do I believe in blind faith. I think that each of us conscious beings must find God in our own unforced way.  Most people, in my experience, use the pronoun "he" when referring to you. It seems improbable to me that an all powerful creator of the universe and everything would have a gender? And why "he" not "she?" An all mighty deity surely would transcend gender. Can you verify this please. I see beauty all around me - is that you? I feel love for the people around me, and a hope for their happiness and health - is that you? On the topic of health: if you created everything, why create things that cause incredible suffering, like plague and disease. Why create a virus like Ebola, for example, that liquefies its hosts insides and causes massive hemorrhage and horrific death? Is suffering somehow also a gift, like beauty? Why allow things like torture, rape, war, drug addiction, physical/mental deficiencies, cancer, terrorism, bullying, depression, racism, slavery, suicide and murder? How many people of one religious group have been systematically murdered by another religious group in the name of God? Why make the mind so feeble? Why not utopia; bliss? I feel the "potential" you've seeded this universe with - there is the possibility of good; the possibility of evil. In conscious beings you've bestowed the power to choose which moral pathway to travel - It isn't you who guides the killer's hand, this is his or her own choice. I would very much like to ask you about this thing we call "consciousness." This ignition of awareness which seems to allow us mortals to contemplate your existence, and our own. Is this a special gift for creatures who evolve far enough? A god sent boon of contemplative reasoning to those you deem sufficiently ready? I have so many questions: does karma exist? Do all sufficiently intelligent beings end up destroying themselves in a mess of greed, power thirst and short sightedness? Is lightspeed really the cosmic speed limit - is time travel possible? Is the big bang theory right? Did you make multiple universes? What happens when we die - will I get to see my mom again? You know what I think God? I think you created the space for the universe - this arena where all things play out - you sprinkled it with matter - the "stuff" of the universe - programmed the physical rules of how things interact, and set it all in motion with a very special, very small, dash of the potential for life. The rest is just simply the cosmic dust settling where it may. This universe is your terrarium. Possibly sitting on some grand mantle, with several other terrarium universes, over a great roaring fire in the citadel of eternity. P.s. I hope you don't find these inquiries disrespectful or boorish - I am just a simple man of the flesh who thirsts for answers. Thank you for your time, I know you must be very busy :)

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