Exceptional A child's harrowing experience Wishful Thinking by Sandra Nelms-Ludwig A Harrowing Experience contest entry

Tired. Tired at an early age. So tired of a family who from Monday thru Saturday played creditable loveless roles. Hated each other is perhaps too strong a statement. However, only by a few shades of indifference. At church, for Sunday offerings “Praise the Lawd, love the heavenly father and all he created” was served.   She was so tired at an early age of aging. She thought survival until 21 was an impossibility. She pressed the red dotted spot on the flat metal tin of genuine Bayer aspirins with not timid but determined terminating thumbs. Took a gulp of water and swallowed one white liberating tablet after another. Repeat, repeat, repeat until all 12 pills were gone.   She hallucinated throughout the night. Won’t gonna be no stomach pumped. Father said, “she shouldn’t have done it, and I need my sleep.” Mother didn’t want the church folks to know. She gave the chap vomiting medicine, ipecac. The child dreamed disengaging death delivered what she desired. At dawn she awoke. Even death didn’t want her 9-year-old body. Even death denied her wish.   Recognized Author Notes Her first and only attempt to leave this world. She's a survivor. Chap is a common term in many rural southern black communities for a child of either sex. It's a colloquialism. It's a term one hears daily and especially during the era this person was a child. In the Merriam Webster. Definition of chap (Entry 4 of 5) 1chiefly British : FELLOW sense 4c 2Southern US and Midland US : BABY, CHILD

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