I long to express exactly what I feel.
To be understood, validated and real.
Touching my feelings is hard enough
When I explain the essence of my stuff
I'm shushed and judged to be made of steel.
Attempting to find the feelings I've lost,
I share and stumble and suffer huge cost.
Then you wonder at my silent stare
Spray guilt and blame everywhere
And feel hurt and mad but seldom stop
To ask me what I mean by that
Or encourage me to sit and chat
I typically check my introspect.
Then try again to gain your respect.
I feel rejected from where I'm at.
It's shallow and vapid and not overly real
This is how we communicate still
I use my efforts to share my heart
i feel we're growing further apart.
I hope for the time of recovery to heal.
I don't feel safe to share my heart
The more I try, I'm more distraught.
I long to find a soft place to be
Where I can tap the power of me
To share my depths and hidden parts.
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