Paddy O’Flanagan and his bride Nellie Rose
left old Ireland behind, where the Shannon still flows.
Her parents were worried, because Rose couldn’t cook,
but tucked in their baggage was Mom’s recipe book.
At their apartment in Queens, Rose gave it her best,
but when writing back home to her mom she confessed,
“My food tastes just awful and Paddy won’t eat it.
Please send food in jars, and I’ll try to reheat it.”
So, Mom sent it dry and told Rose to add water,
and Paddy never knew his Rose was a plotter.
The food tasted good and the couple was happy,
till, one day a jar came from Nana and Pappy.
“I guess Mom told Nana, and she’s sent me a stew.
How much water should I add? A cupful should do.”
The stew was prepared, and as they sat down to dine,
Paddy said “It’ taste better to have it with wine.”
Poor Rose was soon saddened and dissolved into tears.
When a letter came later confirming her fears.
The mail had been delayed, and the message was late.
Pappy’s dream was to visit the “Big Apple” state.
But Pappy had passed without his dream coming true
His final request was what he wished Rose to do.
He wanted his ashes spread on Central Park’s green,
but instead, he’d become his granddaughter’s protein.
The moral of this story is convincingly true,
If you’re not a good cook, the best thing you can do
is to make sure you know what your package contains,
and you won’t be caught cooking your grandpa’s remains.
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