Exceptional A cautionary tale using place names Lincolnshire Life by Mark Jackson Talk of the Town contest entry

Boothby Graffoe had a Barlings with his wife Hannah, she gave him the old Holten cum Beckering, Scothern, he scowled Horbling out the door. He went to the Eagle Moor Inn he was Uffington and wanted to get Bloxham on Sausthorpe. Half Burton Coggles he was offered a game of Hop Pole against Edlington with Wispington acting as referee. He loved the game but he was Guthram Gowt and not at his best. He laid a Fulnetby but lost to a Fulbeck. He got up all Owersby and went for an Old Leake outside in the Fosdyke. On the way back he had a Wrangle his Thompson’s Bottom ended up Scrane End in the Wasps Nest a sure way to get a Pepper Gowt Plot. He Wressle his way out rubbing his Bag Enderby that’ll take some Healing he thought; at his Tongue End he Scupholme. Author Notes This is a short cautionary tale written to include Lincolnshire place names. They are uses as proper nouns, nouns, exclamations, verbs, adjectives or euphemisms. I have tried to convey meaning by choosing names which have their own message or feeling although in reality a piece of nonsense writing. The photograph is of the Lincolnshire Village Thimbleby, a village with a row of mud and stud, thatched cottages, one dating from the 16th Century.

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