An Amazon package came in the mail,
Addressed to my dearly loved wife, Janelle.
She stole it fast out of my open hands -
I was left to simply guess at her plans.
Sadly, we were getting up there in years,
Spikes of excitement had long smoothed to spheres.
I didn’t mind, hardly thought to lament,
I thought this, but Janelle was discontent.
In days, I forgot about that parcel
Till one day her eyes held a clear sparkle.
She led me to our bedroom, and oh lord,
My old body froze on its own accord.
Atop our shared nightstand, freshly wiped clean,
I caught a glimpse of a book I’d not seen.
‘The Adventure Challenge – Sexy Scratch-Off’ -
She caught my attention with a soft cough.
~ *ahem ahem* ~ Well, I’ll skip to the end -
As we were, ah… exploring… this happened -
A greasy object got stuck wayyy behind,
I blame it on the way it was designed!
Goodbye marital bliss, hello E.R!
Turns out our situation was severe!
She crushed my hand as they probed with a scope,
We were both in shock when the doctor spoke.
Now get this – good thing they caught it sooner -
While they looked up there, they found a tumor!
Surgery followed, and soon it was done -
It was soft on the bank, a two-for-one!
But even before they took her over
I’d knelt, and whispered when I got closer -
Cutting off my sweet wife’s mortified cries -
“I guess it was a blessing in disguise!”
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