FanStory.com - Tayaby Erika Whittle

This story has a medieval setting in the fictional Kingdom of Arrs

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The sounds of screams and laughter float in the air. Children playing. Nuns singing. But, can I really be happy here? I was abandoned. Here, at St. Mary’s orphanage, I am left to grieve alone. My father is gone. My step-mom threw me away like trash. And my sister...she never came back.

A month after my father died, and my happy world was shattered, my step-mom brought me here. I tried to cling to my sister whom, aside from my father, I love the most in the world. But my step-mom pushed me a way from her daughter. My sister was crying, she promised to see me again. But another month has past and she’s never come to visit. I know my step-mom won’t let her. But sister is really smart! She could find away...if she wanted to.

The kids here are nice. It’s really not a bad place. But I want to go home. I want to run in the meadow and climb trees in the forest. I want my own room, my own bed. But most of all, I want to be near the place my precious memories live. I’m a big girl. I’m ten years old. I’m trying to be brave. But...I don’t want to be alone.

I sat alone on the steps, trying to regain my composure, when a young boy ran up to me. Max has been trying to get me to talk ever since I arrived here. But I have nothing to say. If I speak, won’t all my thought come flooding out? Dad said I should always try and be positive in every situation. I wonder if he’s disappointed. But I’m more disappointed! He and mom both left without me. They should’ve taken me with them. It doesn’t matter to me if we play in the meadow or if we play in heaven. Just being together is enough. But St. Mary is real old. She doesn’t hear me when I pray. I think she has a hearing problem.

“Taya, come play with me!” I look up at Max and shake my head. I don’t feel like playing. “You never want to play! Maybe, you don’t like me?” Max started to tear up. Jeez. Well, I guess he’s a year younger than me. I shouldn’t make a child cry. I look around and then wipe his eyes with my sleeve. Max’s eyes widen and then turn into crescent moons when he smiles. He grabs my hand and I follow him. The other kids look surprised to see us together. That’s because they haven’t experienced the sorcery of tears! Max lead me to where the paper and colored pencils were. I guess he wants to draw. I don’t really like drawing but he’ll probably cry again if I leave.

Max sat down at the mini table, designed for kids, and began to draw. His face wore the expression of a master painter, working on his masterpiece. He sure takes his drawing seriously. I also sat down and began to draw. A green forest, a yellow meadow dotted with white flowers, and a little wood cabin, unfolded on my paper. The place I was longing for, the place I called home. I look at my picture with watery eyes.

“Taya,” Max called me. This is for you.” He shyly handed me a picture. A boy with chestnut hair and a girl with brown, wavy locks were holding hands. I began to cry in earnest. Max held my hand, like in the picture he drew. “I know you miss your old home. I don’t remember where I came from. But the nuns and the other children are my family. Taya, I want to be your new family. We can hold hands together and play until the sun goes down. Even here, you aren’t alone.”

I hugged Max, tears streaming down my face. His warmth felt nice. I can’t forget my family but maybe I can add to it. My heart swelled. “Thank you.” I said quietly. Max smiled with dimpled cheeks.

“Can I call you sister? You can call me brother! I’ll be the best brother in the world!” I laughed.

“Yah” I said, wiping my eyes. “I’ve always wanted a little brother.” Max giggled in pure joy. Having a brother might be fun. I guess I get to be the big sister now. But I won’t abandon my brother. I’ll be the most reliable big sister in the world!

And that’s how I found my place in my new home. A year later, I had fully taken on the role of big sister. Like Max, I now saw the nuns and all the other kids as part of my family. But Max and I are particularly close. People call us twins. I told them that was impossible because I was a year older. But kids get strange ideas and can’t be reasoned with. I gave up and accepted it. I'm older so of course I have to be mature about it. I taught my new twin and the other kids the things I had learned from my father. Sometimes the orphanage would run low on food. So I taught the children how to forage in the woods and catch fish in the stream. At first, the nuns didn’t believe me when I said I could help them get food. I told them I could prove it, they just needed to let me go the forest, slightly beyond the orphanage yard. They said it was too dangerous for a child and refused to let me go. So I did the responsible thing for my new family. I escaped! Max acted as a scout while I slipped away at night. He wanted to come with me but I told him to wait and trust me. I would definitely get permission to go together!

I stealthily left the building, climbed the fence and made my way into the forest. I weaved together sticks, tying it with long grass, and made a fish trap. Daddy taught me this when I was five! I don’t know why the nuns don’t believe me. They’re supposed to have faith! I set the trap in the river bank. I had “borrowed” a small lantern from storage, so that I could see what I was gathering. I also took my pillow case to use as a bag. I carefully selected mushrooms that were safe to eat. The first thing dad did when I started playing outside, was to show me which plants and fungi I should never, ever eat. He even made flash cards and tested me. I wasn’t allowed to play outside until I could identify the properties of every single plant on the flash cards. He did the same with bugs and snakes. I learned it when I was four so I don’t understand why other people don’t know these things. I guess their parents weren’t very smart. My dad was the smartest, most amazing, best dad in the world!

First thing in the morning I returned with a fish, half a pillow case of mushrooms, and some wild raspberries I was lucky enough to find. Max was outside, nervously looking around. I whistled and he boke into a smile. He opened the front gate for me and I proudly showed him the results of my hard work! His eyes widened in surprise. I gave him a handful of raspberries to thank him for helping. He said he’d never had them before and cautiously brought them to his mouth. His eyes widened in delight at the brand new taste. “It’s so delicious!” In our excitement we had forgotten to stay quiet. A couple nuns came out to see what the commotion was. By the looks on their faces I knew I was in trouble. I swiftly handed the closest nun the fish before she started her scolding. Her mouth dropped open in surprise. The other nun nudged her in the side.

“...we will discuss this later, Taya. You too, Max.” The nuns guided us inside. Max was told to wait in his room while I was dragged into the bathtub. The sister began scrubbing the dirt off my skin and hair. I guess I did get a bit muddy. But a little mud never hurt anybody. It’s a small price to pay for food!

“Sister, are you angry?” I cautiously asked. They won’t give me away, right? I’m so helpful!

The sister looked at me with a complex expression. “I’m not angry,” she sighed. “I’m upset that you disobeyed us...but I understand why you did it. We should have given you a chance when you said you could prove your skills. You were telling the truth and it was our fault for not taking you seriously. But, Taya, do you understand how dangerous it is to wander around by yourself? There are bad people in this world, who don’t fear God, and they dare to kidnap and sell other humans. Kids are especially vulnerable and it’s even more dangerous at night. Taya, I understand your heart but you were reckless. You put yourself at risk, and that is what upsets me.” A tear dropped from the sister’s eye as she gently reprimanded me. I felt really bad for worrying her and making her cry. So I gestured for her to come closer, like I had a secret to tell. Then I kissed her on the cheek.

“Sorry for worrying you,” I said quietly. Despite the solemn mood I couldn’t help the smile spreading across my face. I felt really loved. She tousled my hair and continued to wash out the mud. She had to change the bath water twice. Oops.

We had fish and mushroom soup for lunch. It was a wonderful feast. One of the nuns thanked me for the provisions. I took the reprimand to heart but my chest still puffed with pride. I’m proud to look after my family. The other kids were so excited to eat their fill! Max sat beside my, happily gobbling up his lunch. I asked if he got into trouble for helping me. He said he got a light scolding about supporting bad decisions. But he told the sister that supporting his family was worth it. She shook her head, exasperated, but had nothing to say after that. I laughed and thanked him again for always supporting me.

After lunch, Mother Superior pulled me aside to talk. She said she knew I had already heard of the dangers of my actions so she would skip the lecture. Then she bowed her head and thanked me. She asked me where I learned such skills and requested I take turns teaching the nuns and children how to fish and forage. I told her my dad taught me many things before he died. That I grew up climbing trees and picking fruit. I would fish with traps and a rod, and I would forage in the forest with my sister. I told her that in a family, everyone has a place to contribute. She smiled and patted my head. “You’re right,” she said. And that’s how I began Taya’s survival course for hungry children. We went out in small groups and I taught them how to build fish traps shaped like cones. I told the sisters that if they bought hooks, we could attach thin wire to it and a stick, and make a fishing rod! We just needed to wake up early to hunt for worms, or wait until it rains. Then all the worms come out to shower. I also made my own flash cards for mushrooms and herbs. I said they needed to learn about all the plants because some were edible and some were poisonous. Like my father, I said they couldn’t go out to the forest until they got it all right! The nuns helped me test the other kids and Mother Superior also made them test each other. Safety is important!

Eventually, everyone passed Taya’s Survival course and we took turns looking for food when there wasn’t enough. I felt like a proud big sister! I was enjoying my life with my new family. I gradually began to forget the loneliness I initially felt. The sisters said I was a little tomboy, running around, never afraid of getting dirty. I don’t know why anyone would be afraid of dirt. It just stays still unless you move it! And so time passed, with all of us learning and growing together.

About a year later, something unexpected happened. Max got adopted. A childless family, in need of a young boy to pass their farm to, chose Max for adoption. He had grown a lot the past year and was bigger and stockier than our peers, perfect for life on the farm. It was a tearful goodbye. I was sad and happy at the same time; sad to part with my little brother but happy that he would get to experience parental love. I made him promise to write to me and tell me about his life with his new family. He told me that even though he was getting adopted, I would always be his big sister. I cried even harder. His letters came once a week. They were filled with stories about the farm. He said my survival course was really helpful because he already knew about different types of plants. I enjoyed reading his stories. He said it was a bit awkward to be someone’s son but it wasn’t bad. I told him that the awkwardness would fade with time. If only life was so kind.

I started learning the flute. Some rich philanthropist had given the orphanage a large donation. That year, every child received a birthday present, mine was this flute. The sisters said I was a great big sister and thanked me for helping the orphanage through hard times. But now I was older, and it was time to give tree climbing a break and learn something more feminine. I was resistant to the notion at first; I really like climbing trees! But the more I practiced the more my love for music grew. A flute was much like a bird’s song. It made me feel peaceful and more connected to the world around me. So now I a climb a tree and play flute with the birds! Best of both worlds!

Soon I was fourteen and the kingdom went to war. I received a letter from Max. Miraculously, his parents had a child, a son. With the start of the war, it was customary for each family to send a man to serve in the army. The exception being if you were wealthy enough to support the war in another way. In this case, Max’s adopted father should have gone while young Max takes care of the farm. But with the birth of a blood heir, Max was no longer needed. So instead of being responsible adults, they sent Max as the family representative, at just thirteen years old. I shook with anger when I read his letter, telling me of his participation in the war. I screamed into a pillow and punched my bed. Adults were so incredibly selfish. Is blood really so great?! All of it is red! Even my stepmother, who raised me from before I could walk, abandoned me when I was no longer convenient. These selfish, selfish “parents”! I made such a fuss, a couple of sisters came to see what was wrong. Being close to God, they shook with righteous indignation. But there was nothing we could do. That was their legal right. The sisters hugged me as I cried into the night.

One more letter came, written right before Max joined the army. In it, he said not to worry, that he would try his best and return with merit. Then he would come to see me, and we could play in the forest again. I hugged the letter. But I knew the world wasn’t kind; that a child with no powerful backing would be the first to die. And I was right. Months passed without correspondence. Eventually, I sent a letter to the farm, hoping that his so-called parents had heard something. They sent a letter back saying Max had died in the first month of the war, and not to contact them again. We held a funeral mass for Max. The sisters inscribed his name on a plaque, and set it on the wall beside St. Mary. They prayed for Max’s soul to be at peace. But I didn’t pray. That old lady has never answered me before, and I don’t think she ever will.

Afterwards I experienced a season of depression, followed by numbness. The sisters and other kids tried to cheer me up, but it didn’t really help. Eventually I put on a mask of happiness. I heard if you believe a lie long enough, you forget the truth. So maybe this lie will become my truth, and I’ll really be happy. This went on for about six months, until Mother Superior summoned me. “Taya, I have to go on a trip. There’s another orphanage that is struggling and I need to assess the situation and provide support. I’m getting old, and you are the oldest child in this orphanage. I won’t force you but I would like you to come with me and lend me your strength.”

I didn’t have anything better to do, so I agreed. Mother superior asked me to bring my flute. She said my music might bring joy to the kids there. The kids here like to listen so it made sense. I brought it along. Neither of us had much to pack, so we said our goodbyes and boarded the carriage with one bag each. The orphanage we’re going to was in the next province; the one closest to the war. It took about a month to get there. When we got there, I realized why Mother Superior had asked me to come. Countless children who had lost their fathers in the war had been sent to the orphanage. Some with no parents, some the youngest of the family whose widowed mothers could no longer afford them. I played my flute for them, taught them my survival techniques, and just spent time with them. The more I tried to bring healing to these kids, the more my own heart healed. After a few months, the time came for us to leave. But I was leaving a different person than the one that arrived. A stronger person. A person who would make my little brother proud.

The End