FanStory.com - Lea Tonin Versionby Lea Tonin1

I ripped open the envelope, impatient to see what it was.

I read to myself, "Fanstory is having a convention...ok cool," I thought, "We won't interrupt the big wig show."

Then I saw my name and a caption underneath that said,

"We are for the writers of all genres, as the writers are here for us."

Following that was an address, date and time.

A bit of a drive for me, I noticed. Not likely to stop me from going though.

The surprise still grips me when these kind of things happen. Like book signing, traveling, or people asking me about the book or want to know about my life.

My first thought is,

"This is not my life...this not me. This is not how I've lived."

Then I realize. "Yes, yes it is."

A little slice of happiness starts to unroll inside me. It still strikes me with the foreignness of the feeling, as it sits awkwardly in my heart.

Two weeks later, there, I was standing in front of the mirror. I could see a glimpse of the girl I used to be.

"I wonder what my Jewish Mommy would think about this. I wonder if she'd like this outfit. I wonder if anybody would?" But, if I know Rachelle at all, she is a bulldog in such a beautiful and productive way.

I stared at myself in the mirror. Black dress, thin shawl, pumps, small clutch, diamond stud earings and a thin silver chain. All of it in the mirror stared back at me.

"Well, time to go for the hour drive to the convention."

Even though at times I felt unworthy,

I would still shy away from such things. But, that feeling has been dimishing over time. So much so, I actually looked forward to this night.

Driving up the freeway in my little Mazda Miata, I pulled off the freeway onto a country road, I went just as fast but with almost no traffic.

Very soon though I was proven wrong, I looked my review and saw four red cars. Same color. Same model. Same year. One person behind the wheel of each car. I knew exactly who they were.

Anger rose far ahead of any fear that I could feel. "They weren't getting me this night or any other." I thought.

I was very lucky once. I was able to attend Skagit Speedway sprint car races.

I was scraping mud off cars at first, but then the mechanics race would come up and I'd be allowed to drive. I learned very well and quickly. Plus, I was not in the mood for these men either.

A few neat maneuvers later saw these men in their cars, all lined up like an accordion as they skitter, side smashed into one another like a beautiful ice dance. Done with just a slight turn of my wheel.

I couldn't help but laugh at the scene in my rear view.

Fifteen minutes later, at the end of this beautiful country road, the convention hall loomed ahead. A big Tudor style building. In the parking lot, I could finally see my friends. there they all were gathered together, ready to walk in. I waved happily and excitedly as they looked over in my direction. I parked and walked toward the group.

Like an impossible dream there they were. Debbie, Barbara, Jim, Dolly, Roy, Beth, Gypsy Rose,Tom, Jacob and behind them walking in was Gretchen and the incomparable Rachelle.

I looked over at Jim and said,

"Well? Are you going to give me your arm and walk me in or am I going to have to get you in a headlock?"

Jim couldn't help but chuckle. He excused himself for a moment to put his coat in his car. Then we slowly strolled to the entrance. Jim was a stroller and not in a hurry get anywhere. Which was fine by me as part of me was still a little bit nervous. When I'm nervous, I tend to be a little bit pesky.

This time was no different, so I turned and looked at Jim and asked him,

"Jim, do you know why old men take viagra?" He groaned in response. He knew he wasn't getting away unscathed.

"That's so you old guys don't roll out of bed. It's a natural kickstand." I smiled at him, as he groaned again in response and tried to pull his arm free. As we entered the building, I gently did what I said I would, and that was attempt to get him in a head lock.

I could see Rachelle and Gretchen just ahead. Rachelle, had thunder rolling across her face which is especially espressive with her gorgeous red hair.

"Uh oh," I thought, "Hope it's ok."

I was chatting with some people when I started to hear some wild noises coming from the convention hall. Screaming, expletives, being flung around, a couple of crashes. I was like, "Whoa! What is going on in there?

Sometimes I have more balls than brains. I just walked in without any thought. The next thing I knew, "Splat! A big wad of chocolate cake overflowing with icing landed smackdab in the middle of my face! Well, shit...FML! It figures.

So I sat down, using one finger and started to eat the contents on my face while the rest of the room continued to let fly....