Little ones
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Revival of the Red"5/7/5 poems
243 total reviews
Comment from Hudblack
A vamp doesn't care about you
Never will
he has a list
A thousand years long
As he sits
Thinking of nights
He does
See Red
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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A vamp doesn't care about you
Never will
he has a list
A thousand years long
As he sits
Thinking of nights
He does
See Red
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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wow!!what an amazing review!i appreciate your words and generous 6 stars.it means a lot.a hearty thanks for your words and exceptional review:)
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Of course! You earned it Sharma. Good work...
Comment from CR Delport
Ah, ok, I had to read it a few times to get it. Yes, I am also fascinated by vampires, most mythical creatures actually. Thanks for sharing and lovely art work.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Ah, ok, I had to read it a few times to get it. Yes, I am also fascinated by vampires, most mythical creatures actually. Thanks for sharing and lovely art work.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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thanks for sharing your thoughts and excellent review:)
Comment from visionary1234
Well, I've come back to this one several times Anupam, and this piece continues to puzzle me. I guess my first question would be: why would you choose a 5-7-5 when you're really striving for some atmospheric imagery? Why not expand it into a full length poem? If you're really doing a 5-7-5, then line 1 and 3 should be aspects of the same image, but I'm not really 'getting' that? Personally, I find the alliteration clever, but distracting - too much in too small a package. I'd REALLY encourage you to write a bigger piece and show us your full talents!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Well, I've come back to this one several times Anupam, and this piece continues to puzzle me. I guess my first question would be: why would you choose a 5-7-5 when you're really striving for some atmospheric imagery? Why not expand it into a full length poem? If you're really doing a 5-7-5, then line 1 and 3 should be aspects of the same image, but I'm not really 'getting' that? Personally, I find the alliteration clever, but distracting - too much in too small a package. I'd REALLY encourage you to write a bigger piece and show us your full talents!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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i would love to expand it,but being a standard member, i can just post 5/7/5.
and all the three lines are sensibly linked.i appreciate your comments but i wish i could post a longer poem.thank you for reading:)
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Are you serious???? What the heck's a 'standard' member Anupam? I had NO idea! That makes no sense at all - why on earth would you want to limit yourself to such a silly form as a 5-7-5 when you can jump in with both feet and write something with real guts to it? Is it just the $$???
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Well,this is quite a harsh response.you have no idea why i am unable to upgrade.it is because of the payment methods,which at present aren't working for me because i don' have the necessary documents for registering at paypal India and the same applies for Western union.otherwise.i would have surely upgraded.
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This was not meant to be a 'harsh' response Anupam, merely a curious one. There are several people from India who are on Fanstory! And I just use a Visa or Amex card - no Paypal necessary. No 'harshness' there anywhere, just plain old facts and frankly, puzzlement. (I would have thought Fanstory would be very happy to take your money any which way!) But really, you do not need Paypal!
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This was not meant to be a 'harsh' response Anupam, merely a curious one. There are several people from India who are on Fanstory! And I just use a Visa or Amex card - no Paypal necessary. No 'harshness' there anywhere, just plain old facts and frankly, puzzlement. (I would have thought Fanstory would be very happy to take your money any which way!) But really, you do not need Paypal!
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I asked Tom and he says it is necessary to have a paypal.so i will have to wait.thanks for the suggestion.
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Anupam, I use a Visa card and I do NOT use Paypal. I refuse to use Paypal! Just so you know, ok? Do you have a credit card?
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No.i don't have yet.but i will have a paypal.i am trying to get the documents soon.
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oh good for you!
Comment from bossladyone
I like it. It is well written and flows nicely. The picture and color scheme add to the impact of the poem giving greater drama. Vampires are different for sure. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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I like it. It is well written and flows nicely. The picture and color scheme add to the impact of the poem giving greater drama. Vampires are different for sure. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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thanks for sharing your thoughts and excellent review:)
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Anupam Sharma,
Nice piece of poetry!
It meets the required norms and beautifully depicts the rise from a fall or good from bad. Its wording, especially playing with 'L' sound is charming.
Excellent! Good Luck!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Hello Anupam Sharma,
Nice piece of poetry!
It meets the required norms and beautifully depicts the rise from a fall or good from bad. Its wording, especially playing with 'L' sound is charming.
Excellent! Good Luck!
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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thanks for sharing your thoughts and excellent review:)
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Oh, I never knew that about vampires. Your picture is very appropriate, with the bats in the background and the light shining behind. Your allterative poem works very well. I get great images. Giddy
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Oh, I never knew that about vampires. Your picture is very appropriate, with the bats in the background and the light shining behind. Your allterative poem works very well. I get great images. Giddy
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from Spitfire
I appreciate your notes--looking on the bright side of this. You made excellent use of alliteration in this with the liquid "L" devouring the first two lines. LOL.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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I appreciate your notes--looking on the bright side of this. You made excellent use of alliteration in this with the liquid "L" devouring the first two lines. LOL.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from ronnie k
OWW! I feel nothing of their gift LOL , to the day I remember my first movie dracular and cover my neck as I sleep(smile) but there no forgetting that good poetry is good poetry.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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OWW! I feel nothing of their gift LOL , to the day I remember my first movie dracular and cover my neck as I sleep(smile) but there no forgetting that good poetry is good poetry.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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Hello
nice to hear from you.Thanks for your words and excellent review:-)
Comment from Martin Chan
A nicely composed 5-7-5 poem with nicely chosen words about blood sucking leaches lurking and lusting to get their meal of their life-liquor (blood) and deliriously talking and dancing for resurrection.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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A nicely composed 5-7-5 poem with nicely chosen words about blood sucking leaches lurking and lusting to get their meal of their life-liquor (blood) and deliriously talking and dancing for resurrection.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from Christof McTarnahan
Nice poem, What is so fascinating about a vampire any way? I was sitting next to one at the bar last night, and he wasn't fun. His stories were boring. I kept trying to buy him a drink but he refused. Finally, he ordered something. A glass of hot water... I said "What gives, ya ugly parasite?" and he pulls out a used tampon and plops it in the steaming cup. "Instant" he hissed, and slurped down the mixture. Freeking Vampires. Sheesh.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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Nice poem, What is so fascinating about a vampire any way? I was sitting next to one at the bar last night, and he wasn't fun. His stories were boring. I kept trying to buy him a drink but he refused. Finally, he ordered something. A glass of hot water... I said "What gives, ya ugly parasite?" and he pulls out a used tampon and plops it in the steaming cup. "Instant" he hissed, and slurped down the mixture. Freeking Vampires. Sheesh.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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What a teribble reason to explain the rating
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Forgive me. I was just trying to get you to laugh. I thought the poem was well thought out, and the flow was good as well. Very descriptive. Keep up the good work.
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I wouldn't have reacted that way if you had pointed out technical fault.but you meant to said that you don't like vampires and hence a four..hehe...let it be.many people don't like them.
Have a nice day/night:-)
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no harm, no foul. Check out my story about Mitch. He scares vampires away.
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Yes,i will surely.