Little ones
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "5-7-5(moonlit lullaby)"5/7/5 poems
23 total reviews
Comment from Gabrieltheswifter
I have tried to make a 5-7-5 too, but my burning addiction to rhyme schemes bled through. I liked the picturesque value to wind fondles flora. Its soft and sweet sounding and you can just picture the cool air running over the plants in the forest. Beautiful imagery, I would say use a picture and give four stars, but you don't have to because of how efficient you were with painting the picture with words. (It would still complement the poem even further) This poem in all intents and purposes is a haiku, because it does not include a photo, or rhyme scheme, (I know about the rhyme scheme because someone though I was writing a haiku and not a 5-7-5.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I have tried to make a 5-7-5 too, but my burning addiction to rhyme schemes bled through. I liked the picturesque value to wind fondles flora. Its soft and sweet sounding and you can just picture the cool air running over the plants in the forest. Beautiful imagery, I would say use a picture and give four stars, but you don't have to because of how efficient you were with painting the picture with words. (It would still complement the poem even further) This poem in all intents and purposes is a haiku, because it does not include a photo, or rhyme scheme, (I know about the rhyme scheme because someone though I was writing a haiku and not a 5-7-5.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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What a wonderful review!
I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from livelylinda
Author: A beautiful picture would have made this so perfect. . .the words are beautiful and the 5/7/5 scheme is good. A marvelous write. livelylinda
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Author: A beautiful picture would have made this so perfect. . .the words are beautiful and the 5/7/5 scheme is good. A marvelous write. livelylinda
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from Cindy Warren
That's lovely. The words paint a picture. I can almost smell the flora on the breeze on a moonlit summer night. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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That's lovely. The words paint a picture. I can almost smell the flora on the breeze on a moonlit summer night. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from NadineM
I think your 5-7-5 writing prompt entry works well without a picture accompanying it, as your words offer vivid imagery. Love the first line especially. Best wishes in the contest.
Thanks for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I think your 5-7-5 writing prompt entry works well without a picture accompanying it, as your words offer vivid imagery. Love the first line especially. Best wishes in the contest.
Thanks for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from michaelcahill
an excellent entry indeed. the words perfectly speak for themselves. the image leaps vividly off the page. a very strong entry. well done, mikey
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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an excellent entry indeed. the words perfectly speak for themselves. the image leaps vividly off the page. a very strong entry. well done, mikey
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from Patti R.
This is really very lovely! Good luck to you in the contest. The overall effect of the poem left me imagining palm trees and ferns ... calming, romantic. Excellent use of assonance, alliterating the ell sounds, shushing us with the ess sounds.
Patti
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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This is really very lovely! Good luck to you in the contest. The overall effect of the poem left me imagining palm trees and ferns ... calming, romantic. Excellent use of assonance, alliterating the ell sounds, shushing us with the ess sounds.
Patti
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
wind fondles flora 'f' allits Love 'fondle'
whispering coy night's secrets 'w' " " 'coy'
moonlit lullaby Great closer
Lovely, evocative poem. Meets all strictures.
Regards:
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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wind fondles flora 'f' allits Love 'fondle'
whispering coy night's secrets 'w' " " 'coy'
moonlit lullaby Great closer
Lovely, evocative poem. Meets all strictures.
Regards:
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from SteveY
You were sure able to meet the limited requirements of this format perfectly. Great descriptions too given the limits of the format. Very well done.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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You were sure able to meet the limited requirements of this format perfectly. Great descriptions too given the limits of the format. Very well done.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from mmayen
This is lovely. I liked your use of words. It's short but very comforting. It makes me want to sleep under a tree. All the best in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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This is lovely. I liked your use of words. It's short but very comforting. It makes me want to sleep under a tree. All the best in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from Stephen Wolff
A sexy poem and a lullaby all in 17 syllables! Well done. A pleasant and rather tongue in cheek little verse and a pleasure to read.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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A sexy poem and a lullaby all in 17 syllables! Well done. A pleasant and rather tongue in cheek little verse and a pleasure to read.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)