Comment from DreamtwithClarity

Excellent

This is an interesting writing here. Is this book that you are writing a compilations of stories, or is it a part of a solid story? Either way, I enjoyed this and I hope to see more from you. You are an interesting writer from this and the other piece that you wrote recently. - D.O.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2015

Hi D.O, You are most kind. I'm writing short stories to make up the numbers for Dean Kuch's book Tiny Tales of Terror. I'm pleased that you enjoyed my story.

Thank you for taking the time to review my work it is greatly appreciated.

:) Mel.

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Dean's multiple-author book of short fiction has really peaked my interest in flash and very short fiction or different kinds. Thanks for another entertaining story . :-)

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2015

Hi Ric, I find that working within the constraints of a hundred words is both a help and a hindrance in word selection. The main benefit seems to be that it tightens up the writing.

Thank you for taking the time.

:) Mel.

Comment from Ekim777

Excellent

I've always been fascinated by horror; obsessed with it but never possessed by it. I tried to create it but failed. So it remains a mystery to me. Not so to my ghost writer even though I find the connections surreal, or unreal, our writer latches onto king-pin of it; a mix of fear, guilt and a revelation of the hopelessness of our position on poor old mother earth. Our writer weaves it all in, within a hundred words. The tension never lets up. Are we all condemned to suffer despair on this poor old mother earth. Our writer has the answer and gives us hardly an inkling of it. Thanks! -Ekim777

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2015

Hi Ekim777, I find that working within the constraints of a hundred words is both a help and a hindrance in the word selection. Horror seems to suit this discipline.

I don't claim that we are all condemned to suffer despair this is reserved only the poor victim/s of my writing. Hah! Hah!

I thank you for your welcome review.

:) Mel.

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

Hi write hand blue
I see you're up to your arms in pus and gore again. Delightful. This poor guy is up to his eyes and beyond in the terrors of hell by the sound of it. Too spaced out to even sign the register with a spot of fluid. Maybe, that was a chance to escape the ultimate humiliation, or they were teasing him all along. Whatever his missed opportunity was the cackling sounds like the hearing aid mightn't have mattered anyway, but at least the ghouls have a night out.
Clever writing, and I'm seeing your style will be unique on FS. Best of luck with this comp.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2015

Thank you mfowler, you got that right Billy was better off dead... 'beyond all harm.'

Thank you for the good wishes, and taking the time to review, always much appreciated.

:) Mel.

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

That would be horrifying to experience. You did a good job keeping the tension right up to the end. I didn't see any spag. Great job.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2015

Thank you Okiegal930, I'm pleased you like my little story.

Your kind review is much appreciated.

:) Mel.

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

I really like the twist on this one. An old man whose hearing aid didn't work, dies because he couldn't hear the suggested bargain.
I love the way you diminished the Hah's.
I read it three times, just to relish it again and again.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2015

Thank you Ellen. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my little horror story.

This is all experimental stuff for me. Poor Billy was better off dead... 'Beyond all harm.'

Had he signed his soul away, he would have had an eternity of damnation to contend with. lol.

I'm pleased you took the time to review, most appreciated.

:) Mel.

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

Love it! For a minute, I thought it was just gory description with no story line. The ending took me by surprise. Poor Billy, he didn't have a chance in Hell to make a deal with the devil. Great presentation too.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2015

Hi Spitfire, I can see that you understood the story and I'm pleased that you liked it.

I'm pleased you took the time to review, most appreciated.

:) Mel.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Death is just a way of making one's life easier to deal with. This is very well written with very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Very good job.

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2015

Thank you Charlie, for your kind review, much appreciated.

:) Mel.

Comment from livelylinda

Good

write hand blue: this horror fiction left me with too many questions to feel at all horrified. I had no feeling at all. I think you need to add a little something. Some guy is drowning and something wants him to sign something . . .it is all too very vague, in my opinion. livelylinda

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2015

Hi livelylinda, this is flash fiction. One hundred words to write a story means that every word has to count. All the clues are there if you take the time to look. It requires some imagination on the part of the reader. You can take a horse to water...

Comment from christianpowers

Excellent

Hi,

It didn't take much time to read it at all. So short. The red lettering helped a lot. The smaller and smaller text at the end was a nice touch... could've gotten bigger and bigger, too. Maybe that would have been better, I don't know.

I'm not really sure what to say about this. It was very visual, lots of imagery, even if it was rather disgusting imagery.

Thanks for the dollar! :)

Christian

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2015

Hi Cristian, I can't appologise for the disgusting imagery, it is horror fiction after all.

I don't agree about the letters starting small and becoming big.
It was the end of the story and 'it' was going away.

You report lots of imagery, that is good.

As regards the fast dollar, you're welcome. Don't spend it all at once though. Heh! Heh!

Thank you so much for your review, much appreciated.

Mel.