Nobody Wanted Me
A tale narrated by the ghost of a little girl.28 total reviews
Comment from Heather Wilkes
This is a sad bittersweet story. It's a good thing that the little girl was not suffering anymore, and that she was able to step out of such a horrific situation...but death is never the answer for anything. I liked the ending, but the child did seem a little vindictive. She was so simple and innocent through the whole story, but then at the end she became a much more cruel, intentionally wanting to torture Evelyn. It was thought-provoking. Good job!
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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This is a sad bittersweet story. It's a good thing that the little girl was not suffering anymore, and that she was able to step out of such a horrific situation...but death is never the answer for anything. I liked the ending, but the child did seem a little vindictive. She was so simple and innocent through the whole story, but then at the end she became a much more cruel, intentionally wanting to torture Evelyn. It was thought-provoking. Good job!
Comment Written 08-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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Thank you Heather, I really appreciate the review and the nice comments. I guess that might of been my voice instead of the child who wanted to see Evelyn suffer a bit more for her cruelty.
Beth
Comment from Trybuck
Something like this happened in our small town. The girl wasn't special needs and was as pretty as she could be. She still wound up dead at the hands of a so-called stepmother A real stepmother would try to love the child as if it were her own.
It's a horror that happens too often.
Well done, Buck
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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Something like this happened in our small town. The girl wasn't special needs and was as pretty as she could be. She still wound up dead at the hands of a so-called stepmother A real stepmother would try to love the child as if it were her own.
It's a horror that happens too often.
Well done, Buck
Comment Written 08-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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Thank you Buck, I really appreciate the review and comments. The real case happened in the seventies in the town where I lived at the time. I'm sure it is not an isolated incident.
Beth
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
I like your story; that the child is able to get even with her murderer. Below is a copied sentence.
They said the could prove I had suffocated.
THEY
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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I like your story; that the child is able to get even with her murderer. Below is a copied sentence.
They said the could prove I had suffocated.
THEY
Comment Written 08-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and for the nice comments. I also appreciate you picking up on the spag. I have fixed it.
Beth
Comment from debskatz
Hi BethShelby,
Wow! That is a horror story. What's really sad is that it's true. I really like the last part about the little girl hanging around Evelyn to make her scream. Cool!!
Thanks so much for sharing & good luck in the contest!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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Hi BethShelby,
Wow! That is a horror story. What's really sad is that it's true. I really like the last part about the little girl hanging around Evelyn to make her scream. Cool!!
Thanks so much for sharing & good luck in the contest!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 08-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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THank you so much for the review and the nice comments. I do appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on this.
Beth
Comment from dportwood
BethShelby,
You may wish to consider these items for edit:
and she sleep through it."
should be:
and she will sleep through it."
The people who tired them in court knew
should be:
The people who tried them in court knew
They said the could prove I had sufficated.
should be:
They said they could prove I had suffocated.
Duane
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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BethShelby,
You may wish to consider these items for edit:
and she sleep through it."
should be:
and she will sleep through it."
The people who tired them in court knew
should be:
The people who tried them in court knew
They said the could prove I had sufficated.
should be:
They said they could prove I had suffocated.
Duane
Comment Written 08-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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Thank you Duane, This is very helpful. I have fixed the errors. I appreciate you taking the time toe read and help me edit this.
Beth
Comment from Belinda
Hi Beth, wow ... what a frightening story you have here. I feel like I was watching a film while reading it.Interesting conclusion about her reason to live. (Btw what kind of jacket does Evelyn wear in prison? Never seen such a thing in the movies.) Interesting read.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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Hi Beth, wow ... what a frightening story you have here. I feel like I was watching a film while reading it.Interesting conclusion about her reason to live. (Btw what kind of jacket does Evelyn wear in prison? Never seen such a thing in the movies.) Interesting read.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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Thank you Belinda, I was thinking of a straight jacket. They put them on people to keep them from harming themselves or others. I really appreciate your review and comments.
Comment from Kelly Shackelford
What a horrible tale! I am glad that her mom and dad are in jail. It is very well written. Thank you for sharing it with us. I look forward to reading more of your work
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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What a horrible tale! I am glad that her mom and dad are in jail. It is very well written. Thank you for sharing it with us. I look forward to reading more of your work
Comment Written 08-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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Thank you Kelly, I appreciate your review and comments. The actual case took place in the early 70's. It has haunted me ever since.
Beth
Comment from barbara.wilkey
The percentages of special needs children's abuse is much higher than the average childs. Any abuse of a child is horrible and I wish more was done to stop it.
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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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The percentages of special needs children's abuse is much higher than the average childs. Any abuse of a child is horrible and I wish more was done to stop it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2010
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Thank you for the reveiw. Your comments are very true. Thank you for taking the time to read and comments.