Little ones
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "5-7-5(moonlit lullaby)"5/7/5 poems
23 total reviews
Comment from Matoshka
I loved the soft visual of your words. You could almost see, and feel it. This is so soft and beautiful. I enjoyed it very much. Blessings and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I loved the soft visual of your words. You could almost see, and feel it. This is so soft and beautiful. I enjoyed it very much. Blessings and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
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You are so welcome, It is beautiful. Blessings
Comment from Capricorn30
Excellent!
Nice alliteration to begin the soft songs of a personified wind;
Good audio imagery: "moonlit lullaby" as evening breezes provide a fine introduction to slumber.
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reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Excellent!
Nice alliteration to begin the soft songs of a personified wind;
Good audio imagery: "moonlit lullaby" as evening breezes provide a fine introduction to slumber.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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I am glad you like it so much. Thank you for your lovely review:)
Comment from rama devi
Superb personification of nature and using the verb FONDLES for wind is nice...as the cliche word is caress...this makes it sound original and even more intimate and personal. It also works superbly well with alliteration of F and consonance of L shared with FLORA. Bravo.
The second line has superb personification of night as 'coy! Love it. One suggestion...'night-secrets' would work as well as 'night's secrets' and is easier to say aloud (just a thought).
Moonlit lullaby is a fitting satori and also has fine consonance of L.
Superb entry. One of the best. A contender for my vote.
Good luck!
Warmly, rd
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Superb personification of nature and using the verb FONDLES for wind is nice...as the cliche word is caress...this makes it sound original and even more intimate and personal. It also works superbly well with alliteration of F and consonance of L shared with FLORA. Bravo.
The second line has superb personification of night as 'coy! Love it. One suggestion...'night-secrets' would work as well as 'night's secrets' and is easier to say aloud (just a thought).
Moonlit lullaby is a fitting satori and also has fine consonance of L.
Superb entry. One of the best. A contender for my vote.
Good luck!
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Namaste:),
I am delighted you liked it so much. Your reviews are just amazing. I appreciate your comments.
Have a great day!
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Namaste! Thanks ;)