Little ones
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Revival of the Red"5/7/5 poems
243 total reviews
Comment from JB Lynn
I think you've captured your dark image of the vampire very well. My only suggestion is I would swap the words in your first line to read: "Lusty leeches lurk". That may just be a personal preference, though. Thank you for sharing, and terrific image, by the way.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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I think you've captured your dark image of the vampire very well. My only suggestion is I would swap the words in your first line to read: "Lusty leeches lurk". That may just be a personal preference, though. Thank you for sharing, and terrific image, by the way.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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What you said is also good.but 'leeches...love',i have them linked.not two seperate lines.i appreciate your comments.thanks for the excellent review.
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Thank you for the clarification. I would definitely leave it as is, now that I know the correct way to read it.
Comment from Kingsrookviii
This is great. The whole package, picture and blood red font! It reminds me of one of the three "sister" in Bram Stoker's DRACULA. They too we lusty with Jonathan Harker before their master caught them.
This is very much in keeping with the lore. Well done.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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This is great. The whole package, picture and blood red font! It reminds me of one of the three "sister" in Bram Stoker's DRACULA. They too we lusty with Jonathan Harker before their master caught them.
This is very much in keeping with the lore. Well done.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from poesyapprentice
To me lurk lusty seems an odd combo. Maybe it needs a - or something? Lusty leeches is definitely a unique way to describe vampires...like it. I don't know why but people seem to think red on black is hard to see, although I can read it just fine, but wanted you to know that some will pass on the read if they see these colors because they can't read them easily. I loved the pic and thought the presentation was great. Good luck!
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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To me lurk lusty seems an odd combo. Maybe it needs a - or something? Lusty leeches is definitely a unique way to describe vampires...like it. I don't know why but people seem to think red on black is hard to see, although I can read it just fine, but wanted you to know that some will pass on the read if they see these colors because they can't read them easily. I loved the pic and thought the presentation was great. Good luck!
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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Only two or three have said that the red ink isn't good.others find it complementing the theme.
I appreciate your comments and generous rating.thanks:-)
Comment from McMurry903
This is a really cool 5-7-5 poem. It's a very unique poem filled with awesome alliteration. I enjoyed this piece very much and wish you the best of luck!
Brian
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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This is a really cool 5-7-5 poem. It's a very unique poem filled with awesome alliteration. I enjoyed this piece very much and wish you the best of luck!
Brian
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from Winslow
Dear Sharma,
Excellent alliteration in your verse with all the ls. Red on dark makes it hard to read, you should consider another font color. I don't know what this poem means, but it sounds poetic.
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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Dear Sharma,
Excellent alliteration in your verse with all the ls. Red on dark makes it hard to read, you should consider another font color. I don't know what this poem means, but it sounds poetic.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 14-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from tbacha58
With your poetry, I feel you are in complete control, very strong, self assurance, ready t go anywhere. You are already a poetry writer, and I would back you up always. What you just wrote is so appropriate to vampires, which I am not at all in favor to watch myself. The picture is also amazing. Good luck. Terry
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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With your poetry, I feel you are in complete control, very strong, self assurance, ready t go anywhere. You are already a poetry writer, and I would back you up always. What you just wrote is so appropriate to vampires, which I am not at all in favor to watch myself. The picture is also amazing. Good luck. Terry
Comment Written 14-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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I am glad you liked it.your words are so motivating.i appreciate your words.thanks for the excellent rating:-).
Comment from Minglement
This poem evokes dark and mysterious imagery with your clever use of alliteration and great presentation. Well done. No nits or SPAG
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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This poem evokes dark and mysterious imagery with your clever use of alliteration and great presentation. Well done. No nits or SPAG
Comment Written 14-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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Wow!I am amazed and so glad.i appreciate your thoughts and 6 stars.it means a lot.Thanks for your kind words and exceptional review:-)
Comment from Xylok
this is quite creative. each line. the first three words are an interesting way of looking at vampires and I love the alliteration the consonance of the letter l provides, and the last line as well, with the r. super art choice. great post. love the title too.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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this is quite creative. each line. the first three words are an interesting way of looking at vampires and I love the alliteration the consonance of the letter l provides, and the last line as well, with the r. super art choice. great post. love the title too.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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I am glad you find it interesting.Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from Eternal Muse
Wow - what a powerful vampire 5-7-5. You packed volumes in those lines. Loved the parade of "l's" in the first line -"lurk lusty leeches" and again, you have the l's dance in "love luminal life-liquor". Your poem reminds me of Basho's adage "brevity that excludes extraneous". I see from your portfolio that you favor Japanese forms.
Great poem and love this stunning picture!
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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Wow - what a powerful vampire 5-7-5. You packed volumes in those lines. Loved the parade of "l's" in the first line -"lurk lusty leeches" and again, you have the l's dance in "love luminal life-liquor". Your poem reminds me of Basho's adage "brevity that excludes extraneous". I see from your portfolio that you favor Japanese forms.
Great poem and love this stunning picture!
Comment Written 14-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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I am so glad you liked it.and i write other forms too.i will share them soon when i upgrade.
I appreciate your generous and encouraging comments.thanks for the excellent review:-)
Comment from vapros
Five stars today for an interesting description of a vampire and of the blood-sucking that sustains her. 'Love luminal life liquor' was a neat concept.
I must note that little red letters on a black field make for a difficult read.
Be well.
v
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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Five stars today for an interesting description of a vampire and of the blood-sucking that sustains her. 'Love luminal life liquor' was a neat concept.
I must note that little red letters on a black field make for a difficult read.
Be well.
v
Comment Written 14-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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I am glad you find it interesting.i appreciate it.thanks for the excellent review:-)