godfather
Sadly I was not his only victim42 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Dear woman. This is not "only a bad memory." Both tragedies were life altering and horrid. My heart goes out to you!
Of not sympathy, please feel my compassion and empathy. I am so proud you found the inner strength to speak out...
Your words help so many others! God bless you!
Karenina
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Dear woman. This is not "only a bad memory." Both tragedies were life altering and horrid. My heart goes out to you!
Of not sympathy, please feel my compassion and empathy. I am so proud you found the inner strength to speak out...
Your words help so many others! God bless you!
Karenina
Comment Written 08-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Karenina, I thank you my lovely friend for your compassion and empathy.
I had to make a decision years ago whether I was going to let him destroy my last half (God willing) of my life as he did my childhood and the years before I told of these events. Or find joy and peace and I decided the later of the two. It's not to say that the hurt is gone completely, but I try to shower the people I love with love (sounds like a song, lol) and learn who I can trust,and hold them dear to my heart! I have some very special people that I feel that way about. God has blessed me dearly by choosing that path. Thank you my dear friend for such kind words, caring and your thoughtfulness!
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You have triumphed over your trauma...
They, neither of them, will ever know the peace you have acheive, for themselves.
I am so very happy you were able to heal in this way!
Comment from LisaMay
Thank you for writing this, in the hope of assisting others. You portray the situation with poetic skill as you lay out the consequences of this man's horrific actions and also the rape. I am so relieved for you that you found peace through faith.
(I was sexually abused by my brother when young and was made to feel it was my fault. I never told anyone till after he died at 65. Psychological hurt can be worse than physical.)
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Thank you for writing this, in the hope of assisting others. You portray the situation with poetic skill as you lay out the consequences of this man's horrific actions and also the rape. I am so relieved for you that you found peace through faith.
(I was sexually abused by my brother when young and was made to feel it was my fault. I never told anyone till after he died at 65. Psychological hurt can be worse than physical.)
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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LisaMay, my dear friend, I am so sorry for what you have been through yourself. And then to keep it to yourself as I did is like cancer in your soul. There is nothing more evil than what my uncle or your brother did to us. Living in fear and not ever trusting anyone is a process that is hard to erase. For me it took much therapy, and still ended up a yes person never feeling worthy of love is what it did to me in my adulthood. I was able to tell my husband, but he wasn't the support I needed because it hurt him too much to hear about it. I found out later that two of my sisters had also been molested by him as well as his own daughter who committed suicide at 22. I wish I could reach out and turn your pain off my friend, as nobody knows how it feels unless you have been there. God bless you dear one!
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Thank you for your empathy. your words resonated with me: '...ended up a yes person never feeling worthy of love is what it did to me in my adulthood.' That's probably why I am not married and don't have children. I was married for a while but deeper issues intruded.
The more you tell of your uncle the more monstrous his impact on others.
Comment from MissMerri
A truly painful story, well-told and chilling to read. It must have been so difficult for you to write this, but worse, to endure what NO little girl should ever have to endure. It makes me so sad to think about the cruel selfishness that might cause someone to inflict this on an innocent little child. Thank you for caring enough to let your story be known. I hope it does help others to find freedom and peace, as you did. God bless you! MM
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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A truly painful story, well-told and chilling to read. It must have been so difficult for you to write this, but worse, to endure what NO little girl should ever have to endure. It makes me so sad to think about the cruel selfishness that might cause someone to inflict this on an innocent little child. Thank you for caring enough to let your story be known. I hope it does help others to find freedom and peace, as you did. God bless you! MM
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thanks so much Merri. Somehow I felt the need to share what was something that I rarely talk about outside my siblings now. This is horrible on so many counts. One reason it's sad is that he also molested a few of his own daughters and my awful aunt, his wife knew and didn't even report or leave him. His oldest daughter committed suicide when she was in her twenties. When I finally shared this with my siblings, I found out that two of my sisters were also molested by him but never told because they also feared what he would do. They are my half sisters and lived with my aunt and uncle after their mother died when they were 3, 4 and 5 years old. It wasn't until my mom and dad were married that they took them from their house. Because they were so much older than me, they said they always prayed that he didn't do the same to me. He was a very sick man and it is hard to rid myself of the ill thoughts, yet I know that as a Christian I shouldn't feel that way. Thank you so very much my friend for your very caring words as it truly means so much to me.
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Thank you for your additional response. You're right, he was a very sick man and should have been stopped sooner. As for your feelings, I know the Bible is very clear about the importance of forgiveness, but you can forgive and still have very negative feelings about someone so awful. That's just normal and to be expected. I think giving it to God and asking that He bring good from your bad experience is the best thing you can do. Already, I believe your post will help others to take courage and speak up. It is so important! Thank you for being brave and honest. MM
Comment from Raul1
Wow! I feel sorry for this little girl. I hope that she is alright. The poem is really dark, but it is well written. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Good job! Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Wow! I feel sorry for this little girl. I hope that she is alright. The poem is really dark, but it is well written. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Good job! Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you so much Raul for such kind and caring comments. It was a very difficult life to live but through the grace of God I survived and am hoping to help others who have been put through hell also. It is an awful secret to keep. Thanks again my very dear friend.
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You're welcome, my friend!
Comment from John Ciarmello
Oh my gosh, This is heart-wrenching and horrible. I can't imagine what not only you but your dad must have been feeling toward your rapist. The poem is brilliant and well written. The emotion in your words rang true. I hope you are well. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Oh my gosh, This is heart-wrenching and horrible. I can't imagine what not only you but your dad must have been feeling toward your rapist. The poem is brilliant and well written. The emotion in your words rang true. I hope you are well. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thanks so much John, Somehow I felt the need to share what was something that I rarely talk about outside my siblings now. What is sad is that he also molested a few of his own daughters and my awful aunt, his wife knew and didn't even report or leave him. His oldest daughter committed suicide when she was in her twenties. When I finally shared this with my siblings and my dad, I found out that two of my sisters were also molested by him but never told because they also feared what he would do. They are my half sisters and lived with my aunt and uncle after their mother died when they were 3, 4 and 5 years old. It wasn't until my mom and dad were married that they took them from their house. Because they were so much older than me, they said they always prayed that he didn't do the same to me. He was a very sick man and it is hard to rid myself of the ill thoughts, yet I know that as a Christian I shouldn't feel that way. Thank you so very much my friend for your very caring words as it truly means so much to me.
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True, you are a Christian, but you are also human. I wish you the best! God bless!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Though hard to read, this is a well written and well told story. I'm so glad you have been able to find peace after years of enduring pain and shame. I pray your poem helps someone and that you continue to move forward with your life.
The six is not only for your work but also your bravery.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Though hard to read, this is a well written and well told story. I'm so glad you have been able to find peace after years of enduring pain and shame. I pray your poem helps someone and that you continue to move forward with your life.
The six is not only for your work but also your bravery.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thanks so much Pam. Somehow I felt the need to share what was something that I rarely talk about outside my siblings now. What is sad is that he also molested a few of his own daughters and my awful aunt, his wife knew and didn't even report or leave him. His oldest daughter committed suicide when she was in her twenties. When I finally shared this with my siblings, I found out that two of my sisters were also molested by him but never told because they also feared what he would do. They are my half sisters and lived with my aunt and uncle after their mother died when they were 3, 4 and 5 years old. It wasn't until my mom and dad were married that they took them from their house. Because they were so much older than me, they said they always prayed that he didn't do the same to me. He was a very sick man and it is hard to rid myself of the ill thoughts, yet I know that as a Christian I shouldn't feel that way. Thank you so very much my dear friend for your very caring words, and the gracious gift of six stars! tt truly means so much to me.
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem tells of what happens to too many children. Innocence and trust is taken away. This poem shows your love for your father to keep the secret for so long. I am glad everything is out in the open and faith has given you the strength to have a full life now.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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This poem tells of what happens to too many children. Innocence and trust is taken away. This poem shows your love for your father to keep the secret for so long. I am glad everything is out in the open and faith has given you the strength to have a full life now.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thanks so much Joan. Somehow I felt the need to share what was something that I rarely talk about outside my siblings now. What is sad is that he also molested a few of his own daughters and my awful aunt, his wife knew and didn't even report or leave him. His oldest daughter committed suicide when she was in her twenties. When I finally shared this with my siblings, I found out that two of my sisters were also molested by him but never told because they also feared what he would do. They are my half sisters and lived with my aunt and uncle after their mother died when they were 3, 4 and 5 years old. It wasn't until my mom and dad were married that they took them from their house. Because they were so much older than me, they said they always prayed that he didn't do the same to me. He was a very sick man and it is hard to rid myself of the ill thoughts, yet I know that as a Christian I shouldn't feel that way. Thank you so very much my friend for your very caring words as it truly means so much to me.
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You are most kindly welcome. I?m always angry at the pain and damage to lives child molesters do. About your aunt not telling. I hear that happens a lot.
Joan
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
I hug and love that little girl destroyed by that so called godfather (I too will not capitalize his name) I think I know who you are, but I will always respect your privacy. It's not my story to tell, and I thank God, he healed you and made you be strong enough to help others. The visual fit perfectly. It adds to the poem and the violation of your innocence. There are two things I noted in the poem. The word niece is misspelled, and the poem needs to be dropped down one or two spaces from under the visual. Please consider adding the National Child Abuse Hotline number in your AN. 1-800-422-4453
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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I hug and love that little girl destroyed by that so called godfather (I too will not capitalize his name) I think I know who you are, but I will always respect your privacy. It's not my story to tell, and I thank God, he healed you and made you be strong enough to help others. The visual fit perfectly. It adds to the poem and the violation of your innocence. There are two things I noted in the poem. The word niece is misspelled, and the poem needs to be dropped down one or two spaces from under the visual. Please consider adding the National Child Abuse Hotline number in your AN. 1-800-422-4453
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you Sandy as we have talked a little about this before but never shared the details that crippled my childhood. God is amazing as we both know. I thank you for your wonderful feedback and help. Also I truly appreciate the caring words and your gracious gift of the six stars. I will edit the lines, and I can't believe I spelled niece wrong so thanks for catching that & also add that number right now! You are such a beautiful & caring friend!
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Sandy, I just wanted to let you know that I made those changes that I am very grateful to you for. I also put the hotline number on the bottom of the poem where it could be seen easier. Thanks again my lovely friend, as I will always remember your kindness!
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You are welcome. You deserved that six. I am proud of anyone who is a survivor and is willing to help others.
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The number where you place it is perfect.
Comment from jenintorre
How brave of you to writer this incredibly sad poem. It has triggered a lot of emotions in me by reading it especially anger that this cruel, sick man could ruin your life. Blessings. Jen.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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How brave of you to writer this incredibly sad poem. It has triggered a lot of emotions in me by reading it especially anger that this cruel, sick man could ruin your life. Blessings. Jen.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Jen I thank you my very dear friend for the kind and caring review, words and for being such a thoughtful friend. It all means so very much to me and I appreciate it so very much! I am now in a better place, but the sting was there to write this, but am so thankful now that I have had so many PM me with their own stories. Thanks again my lovely friend!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This happens to too many children, and the punishment is not strong enough to stop it. If only children would tell their parents straight away, so much would change. I cry when I hear of this, it's a curse that's growing, and we just don't seem able to stamp out. I'm sorry it happened to you. This might help others. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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This happens to too many children, and the punishment is not strong enough to stop it. If only children would tell their parents straight away, so much would change. I cry when I hear of this, it's a curse that's growing, and we just don't seem able to stamp out. I'm sorry it happened to you. This might help others. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you Sandra. After reserving for this contest, my heart couldn't write anything true about a fun lil girl, with a fun childhood, so I wondered why I even entered. But I believe God once again was nudging to try to help me help someone else. And as much as it was painful, I no longer dwell and hope that it does touch another soul. That would be the greatest reward. I can't thank you enough for your kind words, that still gives added comfort to the little sting that sometimes lingers, but now kindness wins every time. So thank you my dear friend for that gift!
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I'm sure it will help another poor soul. It breaks my heart every time I hear, or read, of these things. You did a good thing here. xxx
