Wake Up, Daddy
It wasn't my first choice for how to wake up15 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
First of all, those are two beautiful girls in the picture. Second, congratulations on your well deserved first place contest win. This story is engaging from the protagonist's opening statement to the end. It is rich in imagery with adequate dialogue. I like the way it mysteriously builds as I wonder about Mommy being on fire. The story is dotted with humor and has a satisfying ending with Mommy safely on fire on the computer.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2023
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First of all, those are two beautiful girls in the picture. Second, congratulations on your well deserved first place contest win. This story is engaging from the protagonist's opening statement to the end. It is rich in imagery with adequate dialogue. I like the way it mysteriously builds as I wonder about Mommy being on fire. The story is dotted with humor and has a satisfying ending with Mommy safely on fire on the computer.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2023
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Thank you for your very fun review.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I was also waiting for the fire extinguisher to start spraying. I did not know that there was a game out there that would make you that hot and bothered.
Like ""Couldn't you get to sleep?" she asked, sitting at the kitchen table, her tablet in front of her. "I'm on fire against your mother. I made a hundred and fourteen points with quiche on Words With Friends."
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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I was also waiting for the fire extinguisher to start spraying. I did not know that there was a game out there that would make you that hot and bothered.
Like ""Couldn't you get to sleep?" she asked, sitting at the kitchen table, her tablet in front of her. "I'm on fire against your mother. I made a hundred and fourteen points with quiche on Words With Friends."
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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"I'm on fire!" "I'm hot!" "I am smokin'!" are colloquialisms meaning that you are really doing well in a competition.
Thank you for your review.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
You did a good job of detailing the reasons why he was so tired, which set up the ending - his grogginess on being awakened suddenly and to circumstances he believed to be dire. "Mommy on fire," would lead me to think one thing if I heard it, especially given her crafting tools (wood burner, oven).
Good story and adorable picture of your grandkids.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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You did a good job of detailing the reasons why he was so tired, which set up the ending - his grogginess on being awakened suddenly and to circumstances he believed to be dire. "Mommy on fire," would lead me to think one thing if I heard it, especially given her crafting tools (wood burner, oven).
Good story and adorable picture of your grandkids.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Thank you for your very nice review.
It's funny, 15 years later, the one girl is still cautious and the other a daredevil.
Comment from Jim Wile
Great story, Wayne, and very funny. Poor guy can't catch a break. Such familiar-sounding scenarios, especially the wife leaving the car practically on empty. It ain't that difficult to fill 'em up once in a while, so why do women usually leave this for men to do?
This was well-written and expressed this poor guy's frustration with getting to sleep so humorously. Jim
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Great story, Wayne, and very funny. Poor guy can't catch a break. Such familiar-sounding scenarios, especially the wife leaving the car practically on empty. It ain't that difficult to fill 'em up once in a while, so why do women usually leave this for men to do?
This was well-written and expressed this poor guy's frustration with getting to sleep so humorously. Jim
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Thank you for your kind review.
And especially in the winter where it snows! Prepare for spending hours in it in the ditch! But as you saw, there are some payoffs and benefits.
But maybe Mom could have locked the bedroom door behind her considering when he actually got to sleep?
Comment from Julie Lau
A good story and a happy twist at the end, though hard on our poor protagonist. He really has had an unfortunate night - winter in those icey-snowy places certainly does make life harder!
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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A good story and a happy twist at the end, though hard on our poor protagonist. He really has had an unfortunate night - winter in those icey-snowy places certainly does make life harder!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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There was a nice highlight, but overall...
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Wayne, it wouldn't have been my choice of waking up either. Such an awful night the poor man had . . . and now this.
It's a great story for the contest. All the best of luck. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Hi Wayne, it wouldn't have been my choice of waking up either. Such an awful night the poor man had . . . and now this.
It's a great story for the contest. All the best of luck. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Thank you for your very kind review.
Comment from Wendy G
I saved this one for today, and five minutes ago I got a new pack of six star awards - so yours is the first. I loved this story with its delightful humour and vivid writing (had to close my eyes at one point as you scrambled out of bed to do your heroic dash!). It's an excellent entry for the contest, and I wish you success. And a beautiful photo of your gorgeous grandchildren!
Wendy
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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I saved this one for today, and five minutes ago I got a new pack of six star awards - so yours is the first. I loved this story with its delightful humour and vivid writing (had to close my eyes at one point as you scrambled out of bed to do your heroic dash!). It's an excellent entry for the contest, and I wish you success. And a beautiful photo of your gorgeous grandchildren!
Wendy
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Thank you for your super review. And for the six stars!
Oh, and congratulations for your win in the throwing out your back contest.
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Thank you. Most of it was true - except I didn't hurt my back, and I did help with burying her!
Congrats to you too for placing third. But you have my vote for this one, for sure!
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I have to admit that it was a bit discouraging to lose to a cross-dressing pole dancer to 4th graders. But yours was a excellent piece of writing.
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(Yes, I agree, I thought yours was better, and deserved to beat that one.)
Comment from nancy_e_davis
What a nightmare for you. You have my sympathy.
You seem to have the patience of Jobe. This was very interesting and a good entry for the contest.
Good Luck Wayne. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023
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What a nightmare for you. You have my sympathy.
You seem to have the patience of Jobe. This was very interesting and a good entry for the contest.
Good Luck Wayne. Nancy:)
Comment Written 22-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023
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Thank you for your very nice review.
Comment from BethShelby
You went to great links to make this story sound like it really happened with all the details of why you needed you sleep so badly after so much going wrong. The only thing that bothered me was the principal telling you the child needed the coat to walk to school the next day and later telling you that you could sleep in because there was no school the next day.
I'm not so sure I'd worry so much about what kid might see if you really thought your wife might actaully be on fire. lol Other than that it was a great story for the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023
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You went to great links to make this story sound like it really happened with all the details of why you needed you sleep so badly after so much going wrong. The only thing that bothered me was the principal telling you the child needed the coat to walk to school the next day and later telling you that you could sleep in because there was no school the next day.
I'm not so sure I'd worry so much about what kid might see if you really thought your wife might actaully be on fire. lol Other than that it was a great story for the contest.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023
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Thank you. I'll fix the contradiction. But remember, he's had but 10 minutes' sleep! (smiley face here)
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is really amusing. Being the guy in charge is the pits at times. If there was no school the next day, why'd she get you up to find the coat, or was school cancelled for dangerous weather? Whatever, you can't kill your kid for repeating something your wife said. Your wife surely received the evil eye.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023
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This is really amusing. Being the guy in charge is the pits at times. If there was no school the next day, why'd she get you up to find the coat, or was school cancelled for dangerous weather? Whatever, you can't kill your kid for repeating something your wife said. Your wife surely received the evil eye.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023
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The parent who called the principal merely stated that the kid 'needed' the coat the next morning.
Thank you for your very nice review.