Trespassing
5-7-5 Entry7 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
This is a very scary image or presentation. I would never want anything like this to happen to anyone. If a shark would get this close to a person, it would be bad news indeed.
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This is a very scary image or presentation. I would never want anything like this to happen to anyone. If a shark would get this close to a person, it would be bad news indeed.
Comment Written 16-May-2023
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 contest.
I like the presentation too. Concrete images easy to visualize.
Good syllables count and connection between lines.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
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Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 contest.
I like the presentation too. Concrete images easy to visualize.
Good syllables count and connection between lines.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 16-May-2023
Comment from redlemurick
I sense a lot of potential meanings and metaphor; I won't touch on some not because of the lost appendages lol :) Last line to meet count can read off a bit BUT I get it I also do that/often done n it prob reads perfectly fine to others, and is not grammatically incorrect or anything. Anyways, nice image, adds to the Trespass feeling. And what it/makes feel.
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I sense a lot of potential meanings and metaphor; I won't touch on some not because of the lost appendages lol :) Last line to meet count can read off a bit BUT I get it I also do that/often done n it prob reads perfectly fine to others, and is not grammatically incorrect or anything. Anyways, nice image, adds to the Trespass feeling. And what it/makes feel.
Comment Written 15-May-2023
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness this looks like a terrifying scene and I enjoyed your words here but not sure they stand up without the picture, but together, this is a fine presentation, love Dolly x
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Oh my goodness this looks like a terrifying scene and I enjoyed your words here but not sure they stand up without the picture, but together, this is a fine presentation, love Dolly x
Comment Written 15-May-2023
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your contest entry was interesting. I believe you need
a violence warning on it. The picture was gruesome.
I believe your syllable count in line1 is only 4.
(howmanysyllables.com). I'm rating 5 because I believe
you will revue if necessary.
Best wishes, Jan
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Your contest entry was interesting. I believe you need
a violence warning on it. The picture was gruesome.
I believe your syllable count in line1 is only 4.
(howmanysyllables.com). I'm rating 5 because I believe
you will revue if necessary.
Best wishes, Jan
Comment Written 15-May-2023
Comment from royowen
Heh heh, Mr. Shark invites clever young surfer fo dinner, bu he didn't say what was for dinner, we do lose the odd.surfer off the coast, it's really quite tragic, beautifully written, good luck, blessings Roy
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Heh heh, Mr. Shark invites clever young surfer fo dinner, bu he didn't say what was for dinner, we do lose the odd.surfer off the coast, it's really quite tragic, beautifully written, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-May-2023
Comment from jessizero
I liked the rhyme on the first two lines. The poem was morbid, but funny in a dark way. The picture you provided to go with the poem worked well. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
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I liked the rhyme on the first two lines. The poem was morbid, but funny in a dark way. The picture you provided to go with the poem worked well. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 15-May-2023