Comment from Lovinia

Excellent

Hi Anupam

hahahaha! Love this! Great presentation and lovely dark, juicy imagination. I would decapitalize the 'B' -- up to you.:)))


Perhaps "undead lovers suck brain juice" ... just sometimes a little tamper with the words makes it a little different to what might be expected. I LIKE THE WAY YOU HAVE WRITTEN YOUR SECOND LINE, don't misunderstand. Just read them both out loud ... you did well in the contest. Congratulations. Remember, while I make suggestions, I rely on you as well if you feel any of mine should be tweaked. SOMETIMES WE THINK OF A WORD OR PHRSE AND DISCARD IT, then a reviewer recommends a slight alteration ... sometimes I agree and change it, sometimes I keep it the original way. Your writing is really of a great standard ... you have learned so much since you first began my friend. Continue to provide me with such delights. LOL Great work. Hugs - Lovi xoxoxo

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014

This was just a silly prompt. I knew it won't do good, but entered just for fun. I agree with you--a little play on words can really affect the poem very much. I always appreciate and welcome your suggestions. Feel free to share your thoughts. Thank you for another lovely review.

Comment from christianpowers

Excellent

I thought the first line was clunky, but loved this one. The next two lines were well done... a lot of fun.

Thanks so much for posting, and good luck in the contest. Despite a lackluster first line, after reading them all, this entry stole my vote.

For the first line, how 'bout 'In the pale moonlight' or 'Beneath starry skies' or something more, I don't know... complete. 'Beneath moonless sky-' lacks an article (the or a)... but maybe it's just me and your line's somehow more sophisticated. I don't know. Just figured i'd discuss it since I mentioned it at the beginning of this review.

Great haiku, either way.

Christian

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014

Hi, Christian. :)

Thank you for this lovely review and sharing your thoughts.
I have used "moonless sky" to make it a bit creepy. :)
Thank you for the vote. I really appreciate it.

Have a great day!

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job wiitng this zombie haiku about the juicy snack shared on valentines. good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014

Thank you! :)

Comment from Capricorn30

Excellent

Zombies celebrate love also--why not!?
A well-penned romantic evening, monster style;
Good visual imagery:
"moonless sky";
"juicy brain"--the essence of zombie romance.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014

Thank you! :)