There had been dark and painful exchanges with my mom just days before I decided to pack my bags and leave home. I guess people would say that I snapped. Others would say that I abandoned the family. A few might have thought I was being selfish and should just suck it up, I had a sister to care for.
But I needed to decide upon some type of action to save what little hope I had of breaking away from this karmic wheel of life cycle.

At eleven I started to see with my own eyes that "ordinary" families, whose parents were sure of the basic needs to make a house a home, were provided for. Things like utilities paid so the furnace would heat the house and the lights were on to do homework. These things and more were never certain or even expected at our house. Then there were the unspoken & unknown physical abuses.

At seventeen what made my escape more feasible was America was at war. I had completed my high school requirements. On my seventeenth birthday, I made a mad dash to the local recruiter's office and enlisted. To secure what I wanted to do in the military I committed to a six-year hitch. I took the enlistment papers home, put the pen in my mom's hand, and said, "sign this."
I went to the living room where my sister Millie was doing homework. I told her, "I am gone. I leave Friday for basic training. I will not be back."

Those words, "I will not be back" haunt me today more than they have ever before. Little did I know or even fathom that those few words were the last words that I spoke to Millie.
There are no words to describe the enormous void I felt receiving the news recently that Millie had passed away. Fifty-five years had come and gone. I know that God has taken a beautiful soul back into his arms. Millie, the girl I called, little sister, who was fourteen that last time I saw her.
While we never shared in each other's lives, we were family. The loss of family time and pushing back the opportunity to undo those words have now come and gone.

So, what is the end of this for me? I will respond to this anonymous person who sent me her obituary that informed me of her departure. I'll begin with a simple fact I was Millie's brother; would you be willing to tell me what you can about my sister?


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