A pet peeve of mine
A chapter in the book The Divine Nonsense of Jim Wile
Too Many Characters
Too many characters—I just cain’t keep ‘em straight…
When I read a novel, ‘cause my memory ain’t so great.
Gimme three or four, maybe five, but that’s enough,
‘Cause more than that and knowin’ who is who is just too tough.
And don’tcha hate it when the author gives ‘em sim’lar names?
Ain’t no excuse for comin' up with names like Jim and James,
As if there wasn’t plenty names the author coulda chose!
How ‘bout Jim and Chucky? There’d be no confusin’ those.
Gimme a good ole novel like The Old Man and the Sea,
By Hemingway. Now there’s a guy who surely spoke to me.
He kep’ his players to a few, which is my dyin’ wish.
The story's mainly told with three, and one of ‘em’s a fish.
There wasn’t no confusin’ who was who, and who did what.
I know you’re probly thinkin’ this is musings from a nut.
Just wait ‘til you get my age, and yer mem’ry’s all askew.
I’m sure that you’ll appreciate when characters are few.
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