| General Fiction posted March 23, 2023 |
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A journey into the mind of one with a mental condition.
A Beautiful but Fractured Mind
by BethShelby
Why can't you see it? Contest Winner
I hate this medication the doctor tries to put me on. It makes me feel weird, and I can’t hear the voices any more. I’ve been chosen, and I need to hear messages they send. Other people don’t hear them, only me. If they try to give me this medicine, I hide it in my cheek and pretend to swallow it. I spit it out when they’re not looking. They think I’m crazy, but I know I’m not. I am very gifted. I’ve always been smarter than other people. That is why I was chosen. Even as a child I had an exceptional IQ, and now my family wants to put me away somewhere. They say I’m a problem, but the truth is they are jealous of me.
People are always whispering about me. They think I don’t know they’re talking about me, but I know they are. I’m always having to hide, so they can’t find me and put me back in the crazy ward. I was in that place once. They lock all the doors and drug you. They won’t even let you have a belt or shoe laces. You can’t trust them. They want to stick needles in you that have a poison, which will kill you slowly, so they don't get caught.
My son-in-law hates me and wants me to die. He has my room bugged, and he listens at everything I say. I figured out he is a spy, and he is plotting to destroy this country. One of the voices warned me that he is planning to kill me, because I know too much.
You see that red car parked over there? That is one of the people who he has watching me. They’ve been switching vehicles, so they think I won’t know they are watching me, but I’m too smart for them. There is a device in my head that allows me to hear things other people can’t hear. It even lets me hear what they are thinking. I work for the CIA, and I have to be very careful not to get captured.
Once, my daughter told her preacher she thought I had a demon. He and some other people made me sit while they gathered around me and put their hands on me and prayed. He kept yelling for the voice that talks to me to come out. He thought the voice, I hear telling me things, was a demon. I learned, then, you have to be careful who you tell about the voices. I can’t let them know about the device the aliens put in my head.
The preacher said I was healed. I let him think the voice came out, so I could escape. After that, I left, and they couldn’t find me. My daughter hides the car keys, because they don’t want me to drive anymore. But I outsmarted them. I got a ride with a truck driver, and I got all the way to Denver, before someone called the cops, and they came and got me.
You don’t know about this, and if I tell you, you can’t tell anyone, but there is a group from the planet, Xanibar that recruited me. They look like regular people from this planet. They work with the CIA too, and they know stuff you wouldn’t believe about what is going on in our government. They are the ones who put the device in my head, so I can get my orders. They’ve been around a long time. They remember my grandmother. She used to work for them too, before the government found out and had her locked up in an insane asylum. She died in there, and the voices told me it could happen to me.
That is why I’m so careful. Sometimes I try to act just like they do, so they’ll think I’m ‘normal '. They say things like “You seem so normal, now. I think you’re getting well”.
I can’t tell them, because they wouldn’t believe me, but they are the ones who the government has poisoned with the pellets they got when they took the shots for that virus. The government is planning to kill everyone and take over the world. I didn’t let them give me that virus drug. The ones who took that vaccine are the ones whose minds are messed up, and they don’t even know it.
Sometimes, I have to go undercover and let them think I’m taking the stuff that make my head feel like it wants to float off into space. I have to wait a while for the voices to come back and get me out again before my next assignment. I’m trying to get my daughter away from her husband, before he had her blown up, but she won’t listen to me. He’s got her under his spell, and she says she loves him. He’s the one that made her believe I’m crazy.
It won’t be long before the people from Xanibar rescue those of us who know what is going on. I think within the next few weeks the main ship will pick us up, before it is too late. I’m going to miss my family and especially my daughter, but if I can’t convince her to leave, I’ll just have to go without her.
^^^
Since my teens, I’ve been around many people who have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. It isn’t that uncommon. Most of those I’ve known are highly intelligent, and at times, appear perfectly normal. There are medications that can mask or temporarily alleviate their episodes, but unless the dosage is right for them, it makes them feel anxious or depressed, and they may decide they don’t need to take it.
When they are having a manic episode, their conversation is much like the above. They can become overly talkative and agitated. I’m glad there are better treatments than were once available. Now, most can function without being institutionalized. I’ve not made a study of this condition, and these are just my observations.
We seem to be living in an age when those who have never had a mental problem, are becoming obsessed with conspiracies and are going onto web sites which contain false information. When we hear what they have come to accept as truth, much of what they tell us is not so different from that of a person with a mental disorder. Unfortunately, there is no medication for this, and I find it to be an even more serious problem.
I hate this medication the doctor tries to put me on. It makes me feel weird, and I can’t hear the voices any more. I’ve been chosen, and I need to hear messages they send. Other people don’t hear them, only me. If they try to give me this medicine, I hide it in my cheek and pretend to swallow it. I spit it out when they’re not looking. They think I’m crazy, but I know I’m not. I am very gifted. I’ve always been smarter than other people. That is why I was chosen. Even as a child I had an exceptional IQ, and now my family wants to put me away somewhere. They say I’m a problem, but the truth is they are jealous of me.
People are always whispering about me. They think I don’t know they’re talking about me, but I know they are. I’m always having to hide, so they can’t find me and put me back in the crazy ward. I was in that place once. They lock all the doors and drug you. They won’t even let you have a belt or shoe laces. You can’t trust them. They want to stick needles in you that have a poison, which will kill you slowly, so they don't get caught.
My son-in-law hates me and wants me to die. He has my room bugged, and he listens at everything I say. I figured out he is a spy, and he is plotting to destroy this country. One of the voices warned me that he is planning to kill me, because I know too much.
You see that red car parked over there? That is one of the people who he has watching me. They’ve been switching vehicles, so they think I won’t know they are watching me, but I’m too smart for them. There is a device in my head that allows me to hear things other people can’t hear. It even lets me hear what they are thinking. I work for the CIA, and I have to be very careful not to get captured.
Once, my daughter told her preacher she thought I had a demon. He and some other people made me sit while they gathered around me and put their hands on me and prayed. He kept yelling for the voice that talks to me to come out. He thought the voice, I hear telling me things, was a demon. I learned, then, you have to be careful who you tell about the voices. I can’t let them know about the device the aliens put in my head.
The preacher said I was healed. I let him think the voice came out, so I could escape. After that, I left, and they couldn’t find me. My daughter hides the car keys, because they don’t want me to drive anymore. But I outsmarted them. I got a ride with a truck driver, and I got all the way to Denver, before someone called the cops, and they came and got me.
You don’t know about this, and if I tell you, you can’t tell anyone, but there is a group from the planet, Xanibar that recruited me. They look like regular people from this planet. They work with the CIA too, and they know stuff you wouldn’t believe about what is going on in our government. They are the ones who put the device in my head, so I can get my orders. They’ve been around a long time. They remember my grandmother. She used to work for them too, before the government found out and had her locked up in an insane asylum. She died in there, and the voices told me it could happen to me.
That is why I’m so careful. Sometimes I try to act just like they do, so they’ll think I’m ‘normal '. They say things like “You seem so normal, now. I think you’re getting well”.
I can’t tell them, because they wouldn’t believe me, but they are the ones who the government has poisoned with the pellets they got when they took the shots for that virus. The government is planning to kill everyone and take over the world. I didn’t let them give me that virus drug. The ones who took that vaccine are the ones whose minds are messed up, and they don’t even know it.
Sometimes, I have to go undercover and let them think I’m taking the stuff that make my head feel like it wants to float off into space. I have to wait a while for the voices to come back and get me out again before my next assignment. I’m trying to get my daughter away from her husband, before he had her blown up, but she won’t listen to me. He’s got her under his spell, and she says she loves him. He’s the one that made her believe I’m crazy.
It won’t be long before the people from Xanibar rescue those of us who know what is going on. I think within the next few weeks the main ship will pick us up, before it is too late. I’m going to miss my family and especially my daughter, but if I can’t convince her to leave, I’ll just have to go without her.
^^^
Since my teens, I’ve been around many people who have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. It isn’t that uncommon. Most of those I’ve known are highly intelligent, and at times, appear perfectly normal. There are medications that can mask or temporarily alleviate their episodes, but unless the dosage is right for them, it makes them feel anxious or depressed, and they may decide they don’t need to take it.
When they are having a manic episode, their conversation is much like the above. They can become overly talkative and agitated. I’m glad there are better treatments than were once available. Now, most can function without being institutionalized. I’ve not made a study of this condition, and these are just my observations.
We seem to be living in an age when those who have never had a mental problem, are becoming obsessed with conspiracies and are going onto web sites which contain false information. When we hear what they have come to accept as truth, much of what they tell us is not so different from that of a person with a mental disorder. Unfortunately, there is no medication for this, and I find it to be an even more serious problem.
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Writing Prompt There is a 2000 word limit where I would like you to describe in words at least three symptoms a schizophrenic or physcotic person might face in there day to day life. This could be physical, emotional, vocal, anything you would like to include but there must be three of them. You may choose whether your character is on or off there medication; of if they are diagnosed or not. |
Why can't you see it? Contest Winner |
 Recognized |
#20 March 2023 |
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