| Biographical Non-Fiction posted December 9, 2023 | Chapters: |
...18 19 -20- 21... 
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More lessons learned.
A chapter in the book Spectre
Mr. D. Part 1
by Lea Tonin1
The author has placed a warning on this post for violence.
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
Horror is not mine alone
A trick of darkness blood and bone
Oozing oil stretched its finger
Negativity set to linger.
Grab the light to burn the black
Cut the stream and send it back
Malevolence will pause to fight.
Brings to bear its awful might
Isolation no longer true
Dumps in pots and set to brew.
Permanence, not carved in stone
Horror is not mine alone
************************************
While I write this book, I am also paying attention to book one called 'Ghost'. It needs to be as perfect as I can make it. At the same time give book two 'Spectre' the proper attention it deserves. So my mind is constantly moving back-and-forth in time. Different spots in my life, each section has its own life. It's own ability to express itself. With one serious goal in mind.
Knowledge...give knowledge to the people so we can protect all our young ones, all of our elderly, all our wives, and even husbands as they too get abused. It's also to show what comes after abuse.
The repercussions, the collateral damage, the scars left behind. Carrying this emotional factor ourselves and trying to fit in with people around us, doesn't stop when you walk out the door.
***
We went to the woods today. It's cold, clear and crystalline out in the open.
My little fuzzy girl was smiling in the sun, my canine caper pooch dressed in her gold winter jacket.
Other than my sister and pomeranian companion, I live a pretty isolated life. Just letting my mind wander with the beauty around me that still remains.
In the summer, I like to be barefoot. I have my feet in the grass or in the dirt when I garden. I like my feet in the dirt and my hands without gloves.
I like to feel connected to the soil. It sure makes my plants grow! Seems I'm gonna have plenty of time to think while I wait for documents.
This is when the ball rolls the most. Looking for the correct lawyer that handles such cases while we wait the DNA tests will coming in soon. The hard copy evidence will arrive soon. Somewhere in that time I hope to publish. I feel a sense of urgency. It also feels like it's all going to happen at once, such is the nature of my life. I'm going to take this quiet time of waiting and genuflect. Concentrate on the written words.
So the bus going backwards in time has arrived.
Time to connect with the girl I was.
Time to go back again to the person on the floor....
*****************************
There was a ringing in my ears...a high pitched squeal slowly decreasing in volume. Angry bees were buzzing for a place inside my head. Somebody was shaking me. I opened my eyes and saw Mrs. D looking at me with a concerned and panicked expression on her face.
"Joo must get up! Quickly now!"
Too late.
Mr. D hauled me and his wife by our arms onto our feet. He pointed to the kitchen and snarled at us. I was still in a daze and the lump behind my ear wasn't helping. On the floor I saw the offending object. It was a stone carving of a monkey about four inches tall. Mr. D pushed us both up the stairs, while I was shook off the vertigo, and into the kitchen. He pointed to the table while he waited impatiently by it. We both sat.
Mr. D pointed at me then pointed at his head.
I just looked at him.
Rapid-fire words snapped out of his mouth and Mrs. D translated. He said,
"Joo are fine, only put joo to sleep for a few seconds."
I looked up at Mr. D, which made my head thump. He just glared at me. Mr. D started shooting off a bunch more words to his wife. This time a longer batch.
"What did he have to say this time?" I thought now that my head was clearing.
Again, Mrs. D translated. "He say, joo have uhm...come between too much. Joo too busy. Joo push way in, now joo stay. Joo can be like the others..." She tapered off and looked at me.
"What?" I asked. "What am I missing? What does that mean? Be like the others?" "He say, joo can be...sucker of cock."
"Like fuck!!" I blurted.
Mr. D made a move towards me.
Mrs. D quickly raised her hand to her husband and patted my leg showing me a hands down sign as if to say, "calm yourself...wait."
I strained to hold back the rage for Mrs. D's sake as she requested. Shaking in my seat, I slowly got myself under control.
I kept telling myself, "Be smart. You've done this before. You know how to do this. You know how to get through." But this time there's two small children and a woman involved.
I didn't know if I could get them through without being smarter than the average bear or if Mrs. D was even on board.
I held onto the idea she was and forced myself into silence and stillness. "I turned my gaze to the kitchen window as I continued to struggle with my temper.
Pale streaks from the golden orb began to climb over the horizon. Orange fingers of light grip the mountain tops to lift the sun into the sky. Even looking at the splendor, in my head, I'm on constant alert for the man hovering over us delivering us his nastiest look.
This wont last long with me.
I needed to have a few minutes alone with Mrs. D.
I needed to get us out.
I needed to at least try....
************************
That was a scary time but, oddly enough, not as scary as it would have been had I not experienced it before. Sometimes life just climatizes people and we forget to be shocked at certain things. Not a disassociation per se, just a knowledge that experience rides along right beside fear. They somehow cancel each other out in certain aspects.
I bid you all wonderful days and may all your hopes and dreams come true!
This is the time of year for that you know...hopes....
Horror is not mine alone
A trick of darkness blood and bone
Oozing oil stretched its finger
Negativity set to linger.
Grab the light to burn the black
Cut the stream and send it back
Malevolence will pause to fight.
Brings to bear its awful might
Isolation no longer true
Dumps in pots and set to brew.
Permanence, not carved in stone
Horror is not mine alone
************************************
While I write this book, I am also paying attention to book one called 'Ghost'. It needs to be as perfect as I can make it. At the same time give book two 'Spectre' the proper attention it deserves. So my mind is constantly moving back-and-forth in time. Different spots in my life, each section has its own life. It's own ability to express itself. With one serious goal in mind.
Knowledge...give knowledge to the people so we can protect all our young ones, all of our elderly, all our wives, and even husbands as they too get abused. It's also to show what comes after abuse.
The repercussions, the collateral damage, the scars left behind. Carrying this emotional factor ourselves and trying to fit in with people around us, doesn't stop when you walk out the door.
***
We went to the woods today. It's cold, clear and crystalline out in the open.
My little fuzzy girl was smiling in the sun, my canine caper pooch dressed in her gold winter jacket.
Other than my sister and pomeranian companion, I live a pretty isolated life. Just letting my mind wander with the beauty around me that still remains.
In the summer, I like to be barefoot. I have my feet in the grass or in the dirt when I garden. I like my feet in the dirt and my hands without gloves.
I like to feel connected to the soil. It sure makes my plants grow! Seems I'm gonna have plenty of time to think while I wait for documents.
This is when the ball rolls the most. Looking for the correct lawyer that handles such cases while we wait the DNA tests will coming in soon. The hard copy evidence will arrive soon. Somewhere in that time I hope to publish. I feel a sense of urgency. It also feels like it's all going to happen at once, such is the nature of my life. I'm going to take this quiet time of waiting and genuflect. Concentrate on the written words.
So the bus going backwards in time has arrived.
Time to connect with the girl I was.
Time to go back again to the person on the floor....
*****************************
There was a ringing in my ears...a high pitched squeal slowly decreasing in volume. Angry bees were buzzing for a place inside my head. Somebody was shaking me. I opened my eyes and saw Mrs. D looking at me with a concerned and panicked expression on her face.
"Joo must get up! Quickly now!"
Too late.
Mr. D hauled me and his wife by our arms onto our feet. He pointed to the kitchen and snarled at us. I was still in a daze and the lump behind my ear wasn't helping. On the floor I saw the offending object. It was a stone carving of a monkey about four inches tall. Mr. D pushed us both up the stairs, while I was shook off the vertigo, and into the kitchen. He pointed to the table while he waited impatiently by it. We both sat.
Mr. D pointed at me then pointed at his head.
I just looked at him.
Rapid-fire words snapped out of his mouth and Mrs. D translated. He said,
"Joo are fine, only put joo to sleep for a few seconds."
I looked up at Mr. D, which made my head thump. He just glared at me. Mr. D started shooting off a bunch more words to his wife. This time a longer batch.
"What did he have to say this time?" I thought now that my head was clearing.
Again, Mrs. D translated. "He say, joo have uhm...come between too much. Joo too busy. Joo push way in, now joo stay. Joo can be like the others..." She tapered off and looked at me.
"What?" I asked. "What am I missing? What does that mean? Be like the others?" "He say, joo can be...sucker of cock."
"Like fuck!!" I blurted.
Mr. D made a move towards me.
Mrs. D quickly raised her hand to her husband and patted my leg showing me a hands down sign as if to say, "calm yourself...wait."
I strained to hold back the rage for Mrs. D's sake as she requested. Shaking in my seat, I slowly got myself under control.
I kept telling myself, "Be smart. You've done this before. You know how to do this. You know how to get through." But this time there's two small children and a woman involved.
I didn't know if I could get them through without being smarter than the average bear or if Mrs. D was even on board.
I held onto the idea she was and forced myself into silence and stillness. "I turned my gaze to the kitchen window as I continued to struggle with my temper.
Pale streaks from the golden orb began to climb over the horizon. Orange fingers of light grip the mountain tops to lift the sun into the sky. Even looking at the splendor, in my head, I'm on constant alert for the man hovering over us delivering us his nastiest look.
This wont last long with me.
I needed to have a few minutes alone with Mrs. D.
I needed to get us out.
I needed to at least try....
************************
That was a scary time but, oddly enough, not as scary as it would have been had I not experienced it before. Sometimes life just climatizes people and we forget to be shocked at certain things. Not a disassociation per se, just a knowledge that experience rides along right beside fear. They somehow cancel each other out in certain aspects.
I bid you all wonderful days and may all your hopes and dreams come true!
This is the time of year for that you know...hopes....
This chapter is part of book two in a series of three, called Specter. The first book is called Ghost and can be found in my portfolio if you'd like to read. Please note, some chapters are hard to absorb. Reader discretion is advised.
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