| Biographical Non-Fiction posted January 7, 2024 | Chapters: |
...33 34 -35- 36... 
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Hard truths
A chapter in the book Spectre
Synopsis - Evidence Revealed 2
by Lea Tonin1
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
nightmares and old memories rise to the surface when I sleep. two days of hard reading and connecting the last of the dots leaves me bereft and heart broken.
this knowledge meant that all the years of struggling under my parents roof was for nothing.. i knew it already.
my sister and I came together and compared notes and within those notes we found anomalies and consistencies of a very strange nature, the first and foremost to note right away that section 15 and 22 were quoted as the reasons for withholding information.
one of which particularly caught my eye and that was the fact that it would harm police to reveal certain sections. What are they hiding? That question sticks with me.
They selected what they would give instead of all of it.
They did the same with my sister. The odd thing about that is that they sent me a letter saying they need another month to collect paperwork due to the amount of information and content. They cautioned me not to read it alone. what I got instead was a small little skiff of what really was. I also know when my youngest sister retrieved hers, she's the one who spent the least amount of time under mothers roof, her boxes were multiple.
Comparing notes even farther, we found many ommissions throughbut. Some for both of our sets of paperwork some for just me and some for just her. We also found multiple notes on the observices of the social worker and yet they never connected the dots. These unanswered questions stick in my craw. Blanks make me nervous and what I see is deliberate withholding of pertinent information.
There's is a form filled out that speaks directly about my grandmother and her intervention and having us diverted to her home which in the social worker's notes. it said it was a, and I quote,
"an excellent alternative"
Many of the players and In the cauldron that was my life, are written in those pages in one way or another.
The records will not be given to me not the records pertaining to my family. only where I'm mentioned can I look at it. what they deemed to be harmful, I couldn't look at it all whether my name was in it or not.
Another report that during the time we were in a group home for a few weeks as an observance, the note said and I quote,
'The children are adjusting nicely and adapting to new house rules and seem happy and content. This change came swiftly almost to swiftly."
people could not make the connection or chose to overlook it, I don't know, that these girls were being mistreated is sad.
there are multiple notes of many visits that they made to the home, most while we were in school so my parents could lay out their stories without us being there.
It talks about charts that they were supposed to fill out for our progress. it talks about us earning money for allowance. I remember none of that. Their wAs notes about them giving too much responsibility to us and that our chores should be age appropriate. My parents played no part in any of our school functions, no part in any of the out of school functions. They had no interest in our lives whatsoever.
So we did something my sister and I. Knowing what we know.
Mother doesn't dare talk to me so, we decided to call her with myself being muted so I could listen, but that would be all.
We played our experiment of which we knew the answer but did it anyway. My sister explained to her that she'd received her paperwork and she wanted to go over some of it with her to get some clarification. I only agreed to be muted on one condition that she would ask two specific questions that required answers. She read much of the documentation pertaining to her and asked my mother about the comments, she disliked me, resented me, and much that came down to my sisters too, but she read it to her and the first thing my mother said,
"All the social service paperwork is bullshit."
As I thought, more denial.
However, my sister was diligent and said to her,
"Why would you make comments like that?"
"I never did that," she said.
"Well then why is your signature on the paperwork? On all three reports you signed, your husband signed, we signed."
"They must have forced me," my mother said.
That was no surprise. The next question I had to have an answer to.
So my sister asked, "Why did you cover up your husband's abusive of us?"
She said, "I saw him hit you hard once and I heard you cry and I put a stop to it right away phoned social services and I made this all happen."
blah blah blah blah.
The stench of the deception was making me gag. So my sister said,
"Well that's enough for now. I'll think on it and talk to you in a couple more days about this."
My mother said, "I refuse to listen to anything more about it. That was 40 years ago, you girls need to get over it. I won't listen anymore."
My sister said,"well that's too bad, because I'm probably going to ask you more"
My mother said, "well then, I'll just hang up on you."
My sister responds, "okay, that's fine."
They said goodbye. The odd thing was about half an hour later mother phoned back while I was still there.
Back on speaker phone she said, "okay I was a shitty mother."
My sister responds and said, "Well good for you Mom. A fine first step. I'll leave you with that for a couple days then we'll talk later okay? okay bye-bye now."
In this case it's more interesting what they didn't give us as opposed to what they did. now, having done our homework, time to approach the law. A contingency lawyer to bring a case against social services that will hopefully effect change for other children.
even if that never happens, the books will be published. even if it must be by my own hand, it will be done so the world will know. those who read will know how so many of us, even today, how many of our children fall through the cracks. these are the children who inherit our world.What do you think will happen then.
It's a crap shoot....
nightmares and old memories rise to the surface when I sleep. two days of hard reading and connecting the last of the dots leaves me bereft and heart broken.
this knowledge meant that all the years of struggling under my parents roof was for nothing.. i knew it already.
my sister and I came together and compared notes and within those notes we found anomalies and consistencies of a very strange nature, the first and foremost to note right away that section 15 and 22 were quoted as the reasons for withholding information.
one of which particularly caught my eye and that was the fact that it would harm police to reveal certain sections. What are they hiding? That question sticks with me.
They selected what they would give instead of all of it.
They did the same with my sister. The odd thing about that is that they sent me a letter saying they need another month to collect paperwork due to the amount of information and content. They cautioned me not to read it alone. what I got instead was a small little skiff of what really was. I also know when my youngest sister retrieved hers, she's the one who spent the least amount of time under mothers roof, her boxes were multiple.
Comparing notes even farther, we found many ommissions throughbut. Some for both of our sets of paperwork some for just me and some for just her. We also found multiple notes on the observices of the social worker and yet they never connected the dots. These unanswered questions stick in my craw. Blanks make me nervous and what I see is deliberate withholding of pertinent information.
There's is a form filled out that speaks directly about my grandmother and her intervention and having us diverted to her home which in the social worker's notes. it said it was a, and I quote,
"an excellent alternative"
Many of the players and In the cauldron that was my life, are written in those pages in one way or another.
The records will not be given to me not the records pertaining to my family. only where I'm mentioned can I look at it. what they deemed to be harmful, I couldn't look at it all whether my name was in it or not.
Another report that during the time we were in a group home for a few weeks as an observance, the note said and I quote,
'The children are adjusting nicely and adapting to new house rules and seem happy and content. This change came swiftly almost to swiftly."
people could not make the connection or chose to overlook it, I don't know, that these girls were being mistreated is sad.
there are multiple notes of many visits that they made to the home, most while we were in school so my parents could lay out their stories without us being there.
It talks about charts that they were supposed to fill out for our progress. it talks about us earning money for allowance. I remember none of that. Their wAs notes about them giving too much responsibility to us and that our chores should be age appropriate. My parents played no part in any of our school functions, no part in any of the out of school functions. They had no interest in our lives whatsoever.
So we did something my sister and I. Knowing what we know.
Mother doesn't dare talk to me so, we decided to call her with myself being muted so I could listen, but that would be all.
We played our experiment of which we knew the answer but did it anyway. My sister explained to her that she'd received her paperwork and she wanted to go over some of it with her to get some clarification. I only agreed to be muted on one condition that she would ask two specific questions that required answers. She read much of the documentation pertaining to her and asked my mother about the comments, she disliked me, resented me, and much that came down to my sisters too, but she read it to her and the first thing my mother said,
"All the social service paperwork is bullshit."
As I thought, more denial.
However, my sister was diligent and said to her,
"Why would you make comments like that?"
"I never did that," she said.
"Well then why is your signature on the paperwork? On all three reports you signed, your husband signed, we signed."
"They must have forced me," my mother said.
That was no surprise. The next question I had to have an answer to.
So my sister asked, "Why did you cover up your husband's abusive of us?"
She said, "I saw him hit you hard once and I heard you cry and I put a stop to it right away phoned social services and I made this all happen."
blah blah blah blah.
The stench of the deception was making me gag. So my sister said,
"Well that's enough for now. I'll think on it and talk to you in a couple more days about this."
My mother said, "I refuse to listen to anything more about it. That was 40 years ago, you girls need to get over it. I won't listen anymore."
My sister said,"well that's too bad, because I'm probably going to ask you more"
My mother said, "well then, I'll just hang up on you."
My sister responds, "okay, that's fine."
They said goodbye. The odd thing was about half an hour later mother phoned back while I was still there.
Back on speaker phone she said, "okay I was a shitty mother."
My sister responds and said, "Well good for you Mom. A fine first step. I'll leave you with that for a couple days then we'll talk later okay? okay bye-bye now."
In this case it's more interesting what they didn't give us as opposed to what they did. now, having done our homework, time to approach the law. A contingency lawyer to bring a case against social services that will hopefully effect change for other children.
even if that never happens, the books will be published. even if it must be by my own hand, it will be done so the world will know. those who read will know how so many of us, even today, how many of our children fall through the cracks. these are the children who inherit our world.What do you think will happen then.
It's a crap shoot....
This synopsis is part of a book called Spectre. Book two in a three-part trilogy. Book one called ghost can be found alongside this in my portfolio if you wish to read. Please note some chapters are hard to digest. Reader discretion is advised.
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