| Biographical Non-Fiction posted January 11, 2024 | Chapters: |
...36 37 -38- 39... 
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A journey from one world to another
A chapter in the book Spectre
Miles
by Lea Tonin1
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
A drowned Fool's heart yelled quiet words that should
Leave my heart to drift on a soaked desert sea
Cast and hear myriad storms shrieking could
Make loud deaf ears bend a vigorous plea
Shredding softness blissfully streaming down
Red armoured defense swiftly did vanish
Blistered heart beating a bewildered pound
Banished the ghost of old creeping anguish
Drifting feather is the cold winds pale victim
Writing terms of his disentanglement
Blindingly indulging his thankless blind whim
Traitorous heart fracture made Imminent
Chattering cold the heat searing pain blasts
In a place where hearts have thundered their last
*************************************
Crisp, cold and clear this morning. I feel my mouth wanting to snap shut from the frosty air. Blue sky looking like ice, beckons for skaters to skate upon it until the spring returns. Winter birds chatter on shivering limbs of trees fluffing their avian coats.
Today's a new day, the first day of the great turning, I like to call it. The big shift in my life that was a long time coming. Knock the clay off that I've been dragging around for so many years.
As I did in the past, I'll do now and make the big shift to the place where my heart is. Beautiful mountains, quietude, peace and the nature of this land. I pack to leave tomorrow morning in the wee hours.
I'll take the drive in the darkness before dawn. Drive most of my day to take a look at my new home.
A new start in a new place I've always wanted to be. I can continue to write in peace and leave those that would cause harm out of it. I'll return back here again in a couple more days and spend the next two weeks packing. Then I'm off! I don't know what the future holds, I'm not allowed to see that for myself. Sometimes I can see for others, but I know where my heart is and so I follow it.
The girl in the past is getting ready too...for what?
Let's see.
*****************************
My heart was hammering hard in my chest, he was leaving when I thought we had something special. Now, if what he told me is true, than how can I blame him.
"You have to go next week?" I asked.
"Yes, by Friday. Start work Monday." C replied.
"Oh...I see." I said, looking down at my hands.
C smiled and took my hands in his, "I want you to come with me."
"Really?" I asked, instantly brightening.
"Yes really. Of course! I could never leave my woman behind!" He winked at me.
I smiled and he began telling me what to expect and when we will leave.
"We'll put our stuff on a train car and pick it up when we find a place, which will have to be quick." He explained. "We'll leave early Saturday morning, hook up with our people Friday to say goodbye. Whadya think?" C asked. "Will you come? You know I love ya"
"Uhmm...ok...yes!" Then I fell into his arms. My heart was about to burst. My world had changed so much in the past year. I knew love! I could give it and receive it! I knew the warmth of a real family. I knew kindness and respect and a life without fear.
"I'll talk to Mrs. B tonight." I said happily. After awhile of enjoying the sun and making plans, we departed for the drive-in.
"Sun's setting," C said. "We'll just make it on time."
Arriving at the theater we quickly found P and his flatbed truck with half a dozen of our friends spread out on top of it. We parked beside them waiving to the group. We hopped out of his car and joined the flat deck crew. We let them all know that we were leaving. Some hoots and hollars, some "what the fuck?"
"Yes," C said. "It's a work thing. Come to my place Friday night, guys, for some festivities. Ya?"
They all agreed to come.
"What the hell girl! I'm going to miss you. Better talk to Mom tonight." P said.
"I will. And it's not goodbye. It's just a see you later."
"Ya, she's right. It's not forever. We can visit each other." C said.
The movies, a double feature, came to an end. We said good night to our friends and C dropped me off with a smile.
The house was dark, everyone was asleep, it was too late for me to talk to Mrs. B so I slipped into my room, changed, and crawled under the covers. My mind was swimming with all the things that had happened that day. Dreaming of a new life, a new home, happiness with someone who loved me. All those things seemed possible.
Morning came and the smell of bacon and eggs came wafting underneath my door. Stretching and yawning I peeked my head into the kitchen.
"Oh good morning dear. Sleep well?" Mrs. B asked.
"Yes thank you and you?" I asked.
"As well as can be expected." She answered.
P came down and we all ate companionably. When we were done I told Mrs. B what happened the previous day and that I wished to go with C.
Mrs. B was very gracious and very happy for me. A surprising woman she was, full of love and caring. So much so, she became my other mother. I promised to stay in touch as a dutiful daughter should. She hugged me and gave me her blessing and wished me the best of luck.
My happiness was complete! Nothing more I wanted and needed in this life. Visions of family, home and hearth. A simple thing but one I hoped for.
Then the page turned.
***********************
All things stay the same and yet all things change. Everything in motion all the time and everywhere. I remember the feelings of those days and my hope for a better future. There's so much still yet, I had to learn and once again the wheel goes round and life flips the script.
A drowned Fool's heart yelled quiet words that should
Leave my heart to drift on a soaked desert sea
Cast and hear myriad storms shrieking could
Make loud deaf ears bend a vigorous plea
Shredding softness blissfully streaming down
Red armoured defense swiftly did vanish
Blistered heart beating a bewildered pound
Banished the ghost of old creeping anguish
Drifting feather is the cold winds pale victim
Writing terms of his disentanglement
Blindingly indulging his thankless blind whim
Traitorous heart fracture made Imminent
Chattering cold the heat searing pain blasts
In a place where hearts have thundered their last
*************************************
Crisp, cold and clear this morning. I feel my mouth wanting to snap shut from the frosty air. Blue sky looking like ice, beckons for skaters to skate upon it until the spring returns. Winter birds chatter on shivering limbs of trees fluffing their avian coats.
Today's a new day, the first day of the great turning, I like to call it. The big shift in my life that was a long time coming. Knock the clay off that I've been dragging around for so many years.
As I did in the past, I'll do now and make the big shift to the place where my heart is. Beautiful mountains, quietude, peace and the nature of this land. I pack to leave tomorrow morning in the wee hours.
I'll take the drive in the darkness before dawn. Drive most of my day to take a look at my new home.
A new start in a new place I've always wanted to be. I can continue to write in peace and leave those that would cause harm out of it. I'll return back here again in a couple more days and spend the next two weeks packing. Then I'm off! I don't know what the future holds, I'm not allowed to see that for myself. Sometimes I can see for others, but I know where my heart is and so I follow it.
The girl in the past is getting ready too...for what?
Let's see.
*****************************
My heart was hammering hard in my chest, he was leaving when I thought we had something special. Now, if what he told me is true, than how can I blame him.
"You have to go next week?" I asked.
"Yes, by Friday. Start work Monday." C replied.
"Oh...I see." I said, looking down at my hands.
C smiled and took my hands in his, "I want you to come with me."
"Really?" I asked, instantly brightening.
"Yes really. Of course! I could never leave my woman behind!" He winked at me.
I smiled and he began telling me what to expect and when we will leave.
"We'll put our stuff on a train car and pick it up when we find a place, which will have to be quick." He explained. "We'll leave early Saturday morning, hook up with our people Friday to say goodbye. Whadya think?" C asked. "Will you come? You know I love ya"
"Uhmm...ok...yes!" Then I fell into his arms. My heart was about to burst. My world had changed so much in the past year. I knew love! I could give it and receive it! I knew the warmth of a real family. I knew kindness and respect and a life without fear.
"I'll talk to Mrs. B tonight." I said happily. After awhile of enjoying the sun and making plans, we departed for the drive-in.
"Sun's setting," C said. "We'll just make it on time."
Arriving at the theater we quickly found P and his flatbed truck with half a dozen of our friends spread out on top of it. We parked beside them waiving to the group. We hopped out of his car and joined the flat deck crew. We let them all know that we were leaving. Some hoots and hollars, some "what the fuck?"
"Yes," C said. "It's a work thing. Come to my place Friday night, guys, for some festivities. Ya?"
They all agreed to come.
"What the hell girl! I'm going to miss you. Better talk to Mom tonight." P said.
"I will. And it's not goodbye. It's just a see you later."
"Ya, she's right. It's not forever. We can visit each other." C said.
The movies, a double feature, came to an end. We said good night to our friends and C dropped me off with a smile.
The house was dark, everyone was asleep, it was too late for me to talk to Mrs. B so I slipped into my room, changed, and crawled under the covers. My mind was swimming with all the things that had happened that day. Dreaming of a new life, a new home, happiness with someone who loved me. All those things seemed possible.
Morning came and the smell of bacon and eggs came wafting underneath my door. Stretching and yawning I peeked my head into the kitchen.
"Oh good morning dear. Sleep well?" Mrs. B asked.
"Yes thank you and you?" I asked.
"As well as can be expected." She answered.
P came down and we all ate companionably. When we were done I told Mrs. B what happened the previous day and that I wished to go with C.
Mrs. B was very gracious and very happy for me. A surprising woman she was, full of love and caring. So much so, she became my other mother. I promised to stay in touch as a dutiful daughter should. She hugged me and gave me her blessing and wished me the best of luck.
My happiness was complete! Nothing more I wanted and needed in this life. Visions of family, home and hearth. A simple thing but one I hoped for.
Then the page turned.
***********************
All things stay the same and yet all things change. Everything in motion all the time and everywhere. I remember the feelings of those days and my hope for a better future. There's so much still yet, I had to learn and once again the wheel goes round and life flips the script.
This story is from an autobio called Spectre. Book 2 in a trilogy. Book 1 is called Ghost. Both can be found in my portfolio should you wish to read. One note of caution, some chapters are hard to digest. Reader discretion is advised.
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