“When’s the last time you had that dream?”

“I’ve only had it once, Doc.” Morgan lay on the couch watching the ceiling fan lazily spin, almost as if it were about to die. Ugh. So damn predictable. The good doctor loves to discuss my dream.

“Once?” 

“Yeah. Once a night, anyways.”

“So you have it every night?” Doctor Millison Parker peered at him over her silver-framed spectacles. He wasn’t looking at her, but could see her out of his peripheral vision. 

The psychiatrist was in her mid-fifties, wore a silver pantsuit, and was starting to sport some gray hairs here and there.  Still, she was attractive in a sophisticated sort of way. Yeah, I’d hit that. There I go again. Thinking about nailing every woman I come into contact with. 

“Yes, nearly every night. The same dream.” Morgan sighed.  

“Exactly the same each time?” Still peering at him. 

Morgan could feel his temper rising. “What do you want me to say? That I dream about my dead wife swinging from a rope every night? That suddenly she opens her eyes and looks down at me, saying, ‘Why didn’t you help me?’ Jesus, I don’t want to relive it every time I come in here. I don’t want to talk about this."

“What do you want to talk about, Detective?” Doctor Parker wrote for a moment in her journal.  

She’s probably making her grocery list. “I don’t know, you’re the shrink.”

“Okay, let’s change the subject. Are you still having intercourse with prostitutes?” Her voice was monotone.

Morgan shook his head. “Your educated ‘doctor words’ take all the sexy out of it, but yes, one. I’m only screwing one."

Doctor Parker turned back a few pages. “Yes, Kelly. But there were others, no?” She wrote again.

“You know there was another. We’ve talked about her more than once.” Where’s she going with this?

“So why the switch?”

"The first woman started doing too many drugs.  Acting weird. Getting bizarre. She became more trouble than she was worth.”

“Do you have any feelings for these women? Or can you just drop them and pick them up?” More writing. 

“They’re hookers, Doc, that’s kinda how the whole thing works.” Morgan shifted uncomfortably on the couch and closed his eyes. “This is gonna sound weird, but I do care about Kelly. But, it’s more like a protector than a love interest. I’m not sure that makes sense.”

When the doctor said nothing and just continued to write what appeared to be a long entry, he continued, “That’s an odd question. Why did you ask?”

“I’m just trying to get a grasp on how you view these women. All women. Are they objects to you that simply fulfill your sexual urges? Or something more?”

“Why does that matter?”

“Let me ask you this. Have you thought of me sexually since you entered my office?” Her voice was still monotone.  

“Another odd question, but you’re not my type.” Is this woman reading my mind? 

“I think you look at all women as sexual objects.”  

Morgan sat quiet for a moment, thinking. She’s right, but when did I start doing that? Right after Debra died. It really screwed up my head.  “Maybe.”

“Maybe you have thought of me sexually or maybe you view all women as sexual objects?”

Morgan looked at the doctor who was staring at her notes. “Both.”

“Why do you think you do that?”

Morgan shook his head, the numerous questions making him feel hostile. “I don’t know. You’re the doctor. Why don’t you tell me?”

When she merely continued to write, he grew angry. “I mean, damn Doc, I’ve been coming here for over a year. All you do is sit there asking questions and taking notes. I do all the talking. Yet, I don’t seem to be getting over Debra. Why am I even coming here?”

“Talking about your issues is, in itself, a form of therapy.”

“How’s that?” Morgan scratched his head.  

“It helps you see yourself.”

“Jesus, Doc. I see myself. I know exactly what I am! I’m a mess!” Morgan sat up, agitated. “How about you tell me how you see me? My department is paying you enough damn money that you should be able to provide some type of opinion or help.”

“Okay, Detective Harper.” The woman put her journal and pen aside and took a deep breath. “What I see is a self-destructive man.  The suicide of your wife has broken you. Knocked you off the trajectory of your past life.“

“How so?”

“Look at your actions.  Borderline alcoholic, if not full-blown. Sex with prostitutes. Trouble at work. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re using drugs. All this from a man who had been one of the most highly decorated officers in the Seattle Police Department. I mean, you made Homicide Detective quicker than any  other officer in the history of your department. From that ‘you’ to this ‘you’ in just two short years.”

Morgan remained quiet, staring at his shoes.

“So my opinion is that you are trying to kill yourself.  Not short and simple with a gunshot to the head, but slow and painful by dismantling your life piece by piece. With hookers, booze, and whatever else you are into. You’re intentionally making yourself suffer. All because you feel guilty about Debra’s death. That is what your dreams represent. Guilt.”

“You’re wrong. I didn’t even know Debra was suicidal or was even thinking about killing herself. It was a complete shock to me when I found her swinging from the beam in our living room. You’re so bad at this.” Holy shit she’s right. Damn she’s so good at this.

“You know I’m not wrong, Detective.”

“Fuck this noise!” Morgan stood up and headed for the door. “I don’t have to sit here and listen to this malarkey.” Damn woman’s got me so flustered that I’m starting to sound like my grandfather. 

“Detective Harper, you can fix this. You just have to find something worth living for. Once you do, you will find the old you.”

Morgan opened her office door and hurried into the lobby. “I’m out!” 

“Same time next Wednesday?” she called after him. 

“Yeah. Of course.”

CHARACTER/SUSPECT LIST

Homicide Detective Morgan Harper - The heavily faulted main character who never recovered from the suicide of his wife.  

Kelly Pierson - a young, new to the game, prostitute who is frequented by Detective Morgan. 

Debra Harper - Morgan’s deceased wife who committed suicide.  

Tamra Burns- a crime scene technician.

Internal Affairs Officer Brian Anderson - Investigating Morgan Harper  

Doctor Millison Parker - Morgan’s psychiatrist.

Mac Yung- Aggressive reporter. 

Jennifer Collins - The first victim prostitute.