Humor Non-Fiction posted July 28, 2024 |
A working lunch?
It Seemed Odd
by Terry Broxson
Ann and I were having lunch at the Olive Garden, our place, to discuss all manner of things deemed important, or maybe only interesting and not important at all.
Ann and I formed a friendship a couple of years ago due to our common interest in writing. She’s a really good writer.
Today, we planned to discuss a new book, 12 New Christmas Stories. We are two of the five authors who contributed some short stories. We have been trying to figure out how to be effective and get the most from marketing the self-published book due out this Christmas.
Our attention got diverted almost as soon as we sat down.
Across the aisle, a man and a woman were sitting in a booth. They were not sitting across from each other but next to each other in a booth that might have been designed for one person.
The look was odd.
The man sat by the wall. His lady friend, as I came to think of her, sat next to him. But what really looked odd was her posture.
All I could see was her back, her hair, and her butt. Half of her butt rested on the bench seat of the booth. The other half dangled unsupported. I wondered if she needed a hand.
Her posture allowed her to face her companion, and they seemed to be carrying on a vibrant conversation. Ann and I couldn’t really see him as she blocked our view. I did see his head bob a couple of times, making me think he might be agreeing with her about something.
Couldn’t hear ‘em. Tried like hell. Ann tried to no avail.
Being writers, we thought maybe we could make up some dialogue.
Her, “I graduated second in my class at Harvard Law. But that’s not my real interest. I put myself through law school by being a concubine to a very nice gentleman in Boston.”
Him, “My old friend Edward thinks very highly of you. He said you were twice as smart as you are beautiful.”
Her, “Yes, Edward is a dear. We have had a lot of wonderful fun times. I also know he’s delighted at the growth of his domestic investment portfolio. Investment opportunities have become my passion, not law.”
Him, “Edward says you’re opening your own firm.”
Her, “Yes, it’ll be limited to a few clients who will also be my friends.”
He faked a laugh, “Kinda like Jeffery Epstein?”
Her, not faking a laugh, “Hardly! I have no interest in girls, and all the guys my age are too inexperienced or dumb to have a clue about life and how to live it. Edward said you are the kind of man I need to cultivate.”
Him, “I’m listening.”
At this point, the waitress came to take their order.
Being as subtle as possible, I gawked with my mouth open as the lady turned and handed the waitress their menus.
I got a glimpse of a beautiful Asian woman, who could have been thirty, and her luncheon partner. He looked younger than me, maybe seventy.
Ann and my lunch orders were delivered, and while we did get back to discussing our plans for the new book. Our attention also focused on the entertainment being provided by the couple across the aisle.
“Ann, I don’t think Olive Garden is the right setting for a concubine, Harvard Law, rich sugar daddy investment scheme.”
“Umm, you could be right. What else works?”
“Isn’t there some kind of app…Tender maybe where couples can hook up?”
“Terry, land sakes alive! I’m not that tender anymore. I have no idea.”
This time, the laughter was real, and it came from me. “I meant no disrespect, and I have no idea either. I think it could be a tryout meeting for a future meeting if the luncheon goes well.”
“You mean like another meeting later this afternoon?”
“Ann, that’s a definite possibility.”
“We don’t have the time to write any new dialogue.”
“You’re right. Let me pay the bill, and let’s get out here.”
On the way out, I made a point to get a good look. He was dressed casually, with the only flash of success shining from the gold President’s Rolex on his right wrist.
She was wearing a stylish cocktail party dress. Given the size of the booth and her odd posture of facing him, there couldn’t have been more than four inches between them.
Ann and I walked out of the restaurant and into the Texas heat and humidity. “I know why she had that odd posture in the booth.”
“Yeah, like she faced him all the time. And so close, it would be hard to eat.”
“I don’t think Italian food crossed his mind. When I got a good look at her dress, I think the posture is called ‘Tits Up.’”
I turned and headed back toward the restaurant.
Ann called. “You forget something?”
“Yeah, I want to ask her if she has a card.”
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