Just Thinking

If I had it all to do over,
I would have been braver by far.
My life would have purpose and meaning-
I'd tell myself,"Girl, raise the bar!"

I'd sing just a little bit louder.
I'd dance 'til the band shut it down.
I'd leave all the shoulds and the have-to's
and go for a triple-threat crown.

I'd plan and I'd go for the gusto,
I'd never get tired or lose track.
I think by now, I'd be a "big shot".
By now, I'd have learned to fight back.

But, I chose to be someone he'd marry...
I wanted two kids of our own.
I chose to be his right-hand partner-
to be there to answer our phone.

Because I believed in forever,
I didn't save room for "not quite".
I thought we would always be happy.
I fought hard with all of my might.

So now as I contemplate living alone;
My husband has gone on before...
I wish I had memories of painting in France,
but I've memories that mean so much more.

Our children have grown to be fine young adults.
I've grandchildren lighting my days.
and for every old dream I gave up on-
I've a dream that will bless me always.