| Humor Fiction posted November 9, 2017 |
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A bit hard of hearing.
Generation Gap?
by prettybluebirds
Good Morning, Chuck's Cheerful Car Repair, how may I help you?
Hello, young man. I'm Mrs. Palaski. So sorry you're having trouble with your ears.
My ears?
Yes, you said you have an earful. You know, young fella, I bet you have wax in your ears. I know a fool-proof home remedy for that. You take one part hydrogen peroxide and.....
CHEERFUL, I said CHEERFUL, not EARFUL.
Hmmph, no need to yell, young man. I was only trying to help you.
I appreciate that, but my ears are fine. Did you want something, ma'am? This is an auto repair shop and I'm quite busy today.
It is? Oh, now I remember why I called; I have a short in my electrical system.
Oh my, does it hurt?
My car, young fella, my car has a short in it. Are you making fun of an elderly person?
No, I apologize. Just trying to brighten the day with a bit of humor, ma'am.
I don't want my day brightened, I want my car fixed, and quit calling me ma'am it makes me feel ancient.
Okay, okay. So, what makes you think your car has a short in it, ma'am....err....Mrs. Palasky.
I couldn't get started this morning.
I had trouble getting started this morning too, but that's because I drank too many beers last night.
Are you being funny again, young man? That's the problem with young people today, no respect for their elders. Do you realize that what you are doing could be considered elder abuse? I have half a notion to turn you in to AARP.
I'm sorry, my bad. It won't happen again. Well, let's see, why don't you bring the car in around three this afternoon?
Listen, you whippersnapper. I told you the car won't start, how do you expect me to get it to your place?
I can come over and jump you.
What, you pervert. How dare you suggest such a thing? I'm old enough to be your great-grandmother. Now let me tell you......
Wait, wait, calm down ma'am...Mrs. Palasky. I meant your car. I will come jump your car.
Well, I never....why on earth would you want to hump my car? It might be interesting to watch, but I can't see how it will get my car started.
Not HUMP, Mrs. Palasky, JUMP. I'll bring some jumper cables and start your car for you. Do you want me to do that?
Sounds all right youngster, but I'm warning you, I have a can of pepper spray and I know how to use it.
Fine, I'll be over this afternoon and get you running again. Wait, excuse me, I"ll get your car started and running again.
Oh, excellent, and young man.....
Yes?
I want to take a good look at that humper cable thingy. There wasn't anything like that back in my day. If that humper cable can bring my old car back to life, maybe it can do something for me too.
Dialogue Only Writing Contest contest entry
Good Morning, Chuck's Cheerful Car Repair, how may I help you?
Hello, young man. I'm Mrs. Palaski. So sorry you're having trouble with your ears.
My ears?
Yes, you said you have an earful. You know, young fella, I bet you have wax in your ears. I know a fool-proof home remedy for that. You take one part hydrogen peroxide and.....
CHEERFUL, I said CHEERFUL, not EARFUL.
Hmmph, no need to yell, young man. I was only trying to help you.
I appreciate that, but my ears are fine. Did you want something, ma'am? This is an auto repair shop and I'm quite busy today.
It is? Oh, now I remember why I called; I have a short in my electrical system.
Oh my, does it hurt?
My car, young fella, my car has a short in it. Are you making fun of an elderly person?
No, I apologize. Just trying to brighten the day with a bit of humor, ma'am.
I don't want my day brightened, I want my car fixed, and quit calling me ma'am it makes me feel ancient.
Okay, okay. So, what makes you think your car has a short in it, ma'am....err....Mrs. Palasky.
I couldn't get started this morning.
I had trouble getting started this morning too, but that's because I drank too many beers last night.
Are you being funny again, young man? That's the problem with young people today, no respect for their elders. Do you realize that what you are doing could be considered elder abuse? I have half a notion to turn you in to AARP.
I'm sorry, my bad. It won't happen again. Well, let's see, why don't you bring the car in around three this afternoon?
Listen, you whippersnapper. I told you the car won't start, how do you expect me to get it to your place?
I can come over and jump you.
What, you pervert. How dare you suggest such a thing? I'm old enough to be your great-grandmother. Now let me tell you......
Wait, wait, calm down ma'am...Mrs. Palasky. I meant your car. I will come jump your car.
Well, I never....why on earth would you want to hump my car? It might be interesting to watch, but I can't see how it will get my car started.
Not HUMP, Mrs. Palasky, JUMP. I'll bring some jumper cables and start your car for you. Do you want me to do that?
Sounds all right youngster, but I'm warning you, I have a can of pepper spray and I know how to use it.
Fine, I'll be over this afternoon and get you running again. Wait, excuse me, I"ll get your car started and running again.
Oh, excellent, and young man.....
Yes?
I want to take a good look at that humper cable thingy. There wasn't anything like that back in my day. If that humper cable can bring my old car back to life, maybe it can do something for me too.
Hello, young man. I'm Mrs. Palaski. So sorry you're having trouble with your ears.
My ears?
Yes, you said you have an earful. You know, young fella, I bet you have wax in your ears. I know a fool-proof home remedy for that. You take one part hydrogen peroxide and.....
CHEERFUL, I said CHEERFUL, not EARFUL.
Hmmph, no need to yell, young man. I was only trying to help you.
I appreciate that, but my ears are fine. Did you want something, ma'am? This is an auto repair shop and I'm quite busy today.
It is? Oh, now I remember why I called; I have a short in my electrical system.
Oh my, does it hurt?
My car, young fella, my car has a short in it. Are you making fun of an elderly person?
No, I apologize. Just trying to brighten the day with a bit of humor, ma'am.
I don't want my day brightened, I want my car fixed, and quit calling me ma'am it makes me feel ancient.
Okay, okay. So, what makes you think your car has a short in it, ma'am....err....Mrs. Palasky.
I couldn't get started this morning.
I had trouble getting started this morning too, but that's because I drank too many beers last night.
Are you being funny again, young man? That's the problem with young people today, no respect for their elders. Do you realize that what you are doing could be considered elder abuse? I have half a notion to turn you in to AARP.
I'm sorry, my bad. It won't happen again. Well, let's see, why don't you bring the car in around three this afternoon?
Listen, you whippersnapper. I told you the car won't start, how do you expect me to get it to your place?
I can come over and jump you.
What, you pervert. How dare you suggest such a thing? I'm old enough to be your great-grandmother. Now let me tell you......
Wait, wait, calm down ma'am...Mrs. Palasky. I meant your car. I will come jump your car.
Well, I never....why on earth would you want to hump my car? It might be interesting to watch, but I can't see how it will get my car started.
Not HUMP, Mrs. Palasky, JUMP. I'll bring some jumper cables and start your car for you. Do you want me to do that?
Sounds all right youngster, but I'm warning you, I have a can of pepper spray and I know how to use it.
Fine, I'll be over this afternoon and get you running again. Wait, excuse me, I"ll get your car started and running again.
Oh, excellent, and young man.....
Yes?
I want to take a good look at that humper cable thingy. There wasn't anything like that back in my day. If that humper cable can bring my old car back to life, maybe it can do something for me too.
 Recognized |
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I woke up with this dialogue running through my mind. Don't know where it came from, but here it is.
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