|
A lump of stone in black and blue:
The aches that settle in my chest,
The strains of being what you wished,
The torn chrysalis of future passed—
Swallowed whole is all of you.
It happens over, over, over again—
I wonder not why I cannot eat,
For I have made a meal of pain
And let self-hateful gluttony sink in—
A choking place where sorrows reign.
I would cut it out to spite my heart,
Drag shame's razor across my face,
And banish all thoughts of touch,
As its price is more than I can bear—
But that would soothe only part.
I wish I could undo my evil acts:
My selfish fears, my thoughtless snaps,
Crackling in my mind like broken glass,
But I cannot even undo yours
And all the unspoken, ugly facts.
I wish you had never laid eyes here,
For look what we have done to me!
When I open up my mouth to speak:
Nothing—Nothing—more Nothing!
Even boundless pain is unclear.
Nothing, nothing, more nothing—
That is what I wish for this.
Not salve, not soothe, not you—
Above all things, I want an end:
Nothing, nothing, more nothing.
|
