FanStory.com - Resolutionby Gypsy Blue Rose
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Haibun
Resolution by Gypsy Blue Rose

My resolution for 2024 is simple … to love myself. 

As far as I can remember, I have hated everything about me.  Even when I was a beautiful 15-year-old girl, I compared my body to the models in my sister’s magazines and the pretty girls at school. But I am kind and non-judgmental to other people. 

Partly, is the result of being molested from 4 years-old to my early teens. Another part is my bipolar disorder. 

It’s hard to have a healthy self-esteem when you are depressed.  On the other hand, during my short manic episodes, I have a false sense of grandeur that doesn’t last.

My depression can last from one to three years; my manic episodes last a few weeks, and they manifest far between.   After the highs come the lows.  

Thankfully, with the proper medication, people with bipolar disorder can live normal lives, but finding the right medication and right doctor is hard.

My resolution sounds simple but it’s not. I pray to God for guidance.  I know He loves me .

 
 

poppies in the field

don’t wish to be roses —

splendid with each breath


Recognized

Author Notes
If you need help call 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline)
Remember that it gets better.

I still feel bad about myself but I'm working on it.

But fortunately, I do feel better. I have a good doctor and found the right medication. I live with my daughter and grandson. He is a precious little boy, I take care of him. It's hard to be sad around him.


Some reviewers have brought to my attention, that I seem like a strong and confident woman. After many years of training to be a teacher, social worker, and advocate I have learned skills but inside of me, there is a little girl that feels worthless. I don't know if that makes sense to you.

In America, more than 1 in 5 people live with a mental illness. Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

My past makes me who I am today. I'm not ashamed to tell my truth.

I believe children start wise and kind until adults changed them. I was a very quiet child. I'm still an introverted person but I have learned some skills to help me deal with my past.

I worked as a teacher for adults with working barriers teaching them business and office skills. I also helped victims of molestation, rape, and violence. In addition, I worked for homeless people to help them integrate back into society. My past helps me be kind and empathetic to people in need.

I welcome kind help with grammar.

HAIBUN SUMMARY: it's a Japanese poetic form that combines prose and haiku. The prose's length can be from a couple of sentences and a haiku, to around 300 words long. It's and as succinct as possible. Try not to repeat words for short haibun. Write in the present or past tense. It uses poetic devices and word imagery. The prose section is followed by a haiku that serves to deepen the meaning of the prose. Check the links if you want more detailed definition and to see examples.



for Haibun Today examples and more information click here


for wikipedia definition click here


for Graceguts- more information click here


click here for a pdf file of guidelines


Thank you very much for reading and reviewing my poem,

Gypsy

     

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