FanStory.com - The Mermaid, in Responseby ~Dovey
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Written in response to Tennyson and Waterhouse: The Mermaid
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: The Mermaid, in Response by ~Dovey


I wish I was the mermaid of the Lord;
as Tennyson, he was a poet true.
I'd swim without a worry, on accord

to catch his gaze I'd sparkle, precious view.
As time goes on I'd sing his rhyme in song,
while combing silken hair to golden hue.

A tryst in morning mist can't be so wrong;
I wished for words to woo me from my throne,
a Lord who whispered, "Come where you belong,"

his love declared on monuments of stone.
All through his life we'd love and never part,
this mortal man whose death I would bemoan.

Though he was gone, he left behind my heart,
in pieces, glimmering upon the sand,
his words were left, but now with us, apart --

my hair had bronzed, I sat with comb in hand.
'Twas then the artist, Waterhouse, he drew;
immortalized, I never looked so grand.

And now the artist, too, has gone away,
my combs have slipped and chipped; tarnished by clay.
I wish I was the mermaid of the Lord;
I'd swim without a worry, on accord.

Recognized

Author Notes
Artwork: John William Waterhouse [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons, The Mermaid, 1901

The Lauranelle, created by Laura Lamarca, is a hybrid (variation) of both the Villanelle and the Terzanelle forms. The poem is 22 lines in length opposed to the 19-line length of the aforementioned classical forms. Lines MUST be 10 syllables in length and also MUST be in iambic pentameter.

Rhyme scheme is as follows: aba bcb cdc ded efe fbf ggA(1)A(3)

Lines 1 and 3 MUST be repeated at Lines 21 and 22.

Poems can either be formatted in stanzas or as a whole piece without line-spacing.

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This is my very tardy Poetry Potlatch entry for April 1st. The topic was... a wish, to be written in the Lauranelle style of poetry. My inspirations are the artwork, titled, The Mermaid, painted by John William Waterhouse in 1900 - 1901 and the poem, also titled, The Mermaid by Lord Alfred Tennyson (1809 - 1892). The rest of the story is purely my fanciful imagination. I hope you will enjoy. Kim

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The Mermaid by Lord Alfred Tennyson (1809 - 1892)

I

Who would be
A mermaid fair,
Singing alone,
Combing her hair
Under the sea,
In a golden curl
With a comb of pearl,
On a throne?

II

I would be a mermaid fair;
I would sing to myself the whole of the day;
With a comb of pearl I would comb my hair;
And still as I comb'd I would sing and say,
'Who is it loves me? who loves not me?'
I would comb my hair till my ringlets would fall
Low adown, low adown,
From under my starry sea-bud crown
Low adown and around,
And I should look like a fountain of gold
Springing alone
With a shrill inner sound
Over the throne
In the midst of the hall;
Till that great sea-snake under the sea
From his coiled sleeps in the central deeps
Would slowly trail himself sevenfold
Round the hall where I sate, and look in at the gate
With his large calm eyes for the love of me.
And all the mermen under the sea
Would feel their immortality
Die in their hearts for the love of me.

III

But at night I would wander away, away,
I would fling on each side my low-flowing locks,
And lightly vault from the throne and play
With the mermen in and out of the rocks;
We would run to and fro, and hide and seek,
On the broad sea-wolds in the crimson shells,
Whose silvery spikes are nighest the sea.
But if any came near I would call and shriek,
And adown the steep like a wave I would leap
From the diamond-ledges that jut from the dells;
For I would not be kiss'd by all who would list
Of the bold merry mermen under the sea.
They would sue me, and woo me, and flatter me,
In the purple twilights under the sea;
But the king of them all would carry me,
Woo me, and win me, and marry me,
In the branching jaspers under the sea.
Then all the dry-pied things that be
In the hueless mosses under the sea
Would curl round my silver feet silently,
All looking up for the love of me.
And if I should carol aloud, from aloft
All things that are forked, and horned, and soft
Would lean out from the hollow sphere of the sea,
All looking down for the love of me.


     

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