I felt just like a man who'd been found with his hand
buried deep in the old cookie jar;
when she fixed me a stare, as transfixed I stood there,
and she purred, "Sweetheart, take off my bra."
My discomfort grew worse, as I muttered a curse,
she adopted a tone that was mocking;
and I swear this is true, I would not lie to you—
"Now, my darling, please slip off my stockings."
Well it soon became clear, her intent was sincere,
and she understood upping the ante;
for she left me no choice, with her soft, sexy voice,
"Quickly honey, we don't need my panties!"
Shivviness disappeared, as she stood there and leered,
for in truth not a stitch did remain;
and I felt quite a fool, as she laid down this rule—
"Don't you dare wear my clothing again!"
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Author Notes
Perhaps it should be entitled "Victor's Secret", but I didn't want to give too much away. Some readers might recognise this as a very old joke (some might say, quite unkindly, rather like the author). I've just turned it into a poem, as I thought it suited the given word for today.
Today's word: shivviness (n.) the uncomfortable feeling of wearing new undergarments.
My much-treasured Christmas present for 2017 is a book by Paul Anthony Jones: "The cabinet of linguistic curiosities". Each page contains a descriptive story about some obscure or archaic word. It occurred to me it would be a fun exercise to try and write, each day, a poem featuring the "word of the day" from the book.
Thanks for reading.
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