FanStory.com - English as she are spokeby CD Richards
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A tribute to My Fair Lady
A Potpourri of Poetic Curiosities
: English as she are spoke by CD Richards


My speech are fine, just let it be,
I don't need no orthophony
to tell me what it's right to say,
if you say it some other way.

Would all the world be full of ills
If Spanish rain fell on the hills?
And would it be so very queer
if right there in good old Hampshire,

or Hereford or Hartford towns,
the residents acquired frowns
when Henry's musings came unpinned,
and they all got a touch of wind?

Phonetics Nazis let me be,
'cuz I can speak right properly,
without no help from likes of you...
well, that's this fella's point of view.

Coming, Eliza?
 

 

Author Notes
The picture shows Rex Harrison (Professor Henry Higgins) and Julie Andrews (Eliza Doolittle) from the original Broadway and London performances of My Fair Lady. Audrey Hepburn replaced Andrews in the movie.

If you are familiar with the movie, this could make sense to you. If not, it probably won't. I've drawn heavily on two phrases Henry Higgins uses while attempting to improve Eliza's elocution:

The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain; and
In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen.

Today's word: orthophony (n.) perfectly correct speaking or enunciation.

My much-treasured Christmas present for 2017 is a book by Paul Anthony Jones: "The cabinet of linguistic curiosities". Each page contains a descriptive story about some obscure or archaic word. It occurred to me it would be a fun exercise to try and write, each day, a poem featuring the "word of the day" from the book.

Thanks for reading.

     

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