Reviews from

Four Horse Island

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Searching the Ship"
Marooned on an island with 4 horses and a goat

21 total reviews 
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I've caught up now. These first two chapters were great! Perfect start which grabs the attention immediately. You slowly unveil where exactly she is and what the predicament is. Your pace and timing was excellent, ending with a surprise. I look forward to continuing this story. It is a very promising start. - Jim

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2023
    Hi Jim,
    Wow. I am honored that you would go back and catch up. Thank you for the kind comments about the writing. I appreciate you stopping by to read and review.
    Debi
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
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I missed this one debi. I don't know why. She has found herself in a pickle hasn't she. She has been abandoned with the ship. One hope , the owners may return for the cargo they where delivering. Let's hope, but for now she has found life, albeit not human, better than being alone. Nancy:)

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2023
    Hi Nancy,
    Thank you for going back to this one to catch up. I appreciate the observations and encouragement.
    Debi
Comment from LJbutterfly
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a phenomenal story. It's filled with mystery and suspense in every paragraph. Thank you for letting us know in you background sentence, that the protagonist is a woman by the name of Ava Freed. Neither the last chapter nor this chapter tells us much about who the protagonist is, other than she in unmarried and was convinced by a divorced friend, to take the cruise. I didn't expect the sounds Ava heard to be horses. What a surprise. How will this turn out? Love the story, and can't wait to see what happens next.

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
    Hi LJbutterfly,
    Thank you for the gracious comments and the six stars to go with them. It is so kind of you to say you want to read more. I appreciate the encouragement.
    Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Nice image and story to go with it, Debi. Notes are appreciated, too. You did a great job keeping suspense going as Ava began exploring what had happened with the ship. The detail is very good as she forces herself to continue even though her legs are hurting. I was surprised there was still electricity, but maybe it was because they were on land, which was unexpected. She made a good comment about being glad this wasn't a luxury liner. She was also pretty handy with the kitchen and fixing herself a panini.

A very good ending as Ava hears sounds and ends up realizing they are horses. Nice touch there! I wanted to know what kind they were, but I guess that will be next time as Ava rides away in the sunsetš??? Well done!!

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
    Hi Pam,
    Thank you for the detailed review. I appreciate the comments about the suspence and Ava forcing herself to keep moving. I'm glad you liked the ending and look forward to finding out more about the horses. I appreciate the encouragement.
    Debi
reply by Pam (respa) on 27-Jul-2023
    You are very welcome, Debi, and I appreciate your reply.
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Debi,
An excellent chapter about the ship wreck and search for survivors. The tension is well done. I like the little comments as she searches the ship.
It add a very human touch to the scene.
The circumstances are a bit odd, the ship appears nearly intact, all passengers are gone, electricity is still operating, and the ship itself is landlocked, as if a rogue wave lifted it up and deposited it on this remote island.
And now the neighing of distant horses. Reminds me of Assateague Island
with its wild horses.
I wouldn't be surprised if these turn out to be unusual horses. Maybe an advanced society of equine. :)
Great start to your novella.
Best wishes.
Robert




 Comment Written 26-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
    Hi Robert,
    Thank you for the gracious comments about the writing, especially the tension and comments the protagonist makes. Yes, the circumstances are odd, aren't they. LOL
    Thanks for introducing me to Assateague Island. I looked it up and I see they have wild horses as an attraction for visiting. How cool.
    I appreciate the encouragement.
    Debi
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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This is a clearly and faultlessly expressed story about this search through an abandoned cruise ship. There is tension and an intriguing curiosity regarding what may be found within its rather haunting decks. The uncluttered descriptive detail gives the story an enjoyable pace and the ending leaves the reader wondering what comes next. Well done! Debbie

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 26-Jul-2023
    Hi Debbie,
    Thank you for such an encouraging review with specific details such as the tension and pacing.
    Debi
Comment from Faith Williams
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A great continuation, Debi. Still many questions to be answered. Surprised that the only other living beings are horses! I did not expect that twist, and I'm interested to see where the next chapter leads.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 26-Jul-2023
    Hi Faith,
    Thank you for the great review. I'm glad you have questions and didn't expect the twist. I appreciate the encouragement that you would like to read more.
    Debi
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a wonderful start to a novel. I can't wait to read more. I have numerous questions and am positive they will be answered as you continue this story. Great beginning.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
    Hi barbara wilkey,
    Thank you for the generous comments. I am glad you enjoy it so far.
    Debi
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Okay, keep feeding us morsels of information to heighten the intrigue level of your story. Well done!

I have a number of questions, but I will wait for further chapters to see if they're answered (I'm sure they will).

I'm certainly curious about these potential horses on the ship.

Cheers to the intrigue.
John

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
    Hi John,
    Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate your kind comments.
    Debi
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very nicely constructed and told. Good work.
I trust we'll soon learn of the speaker's particulars. Starting a book is really tough when posts are (self) limited to word count.
Looking forward to more. Best wishes.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
    Hi Wayne Fowler,
    Thank you for the kind comments. I means a lot that you'd like to hear more.
    Debi