Justice or Injustice?
When my son was arrested6 total reviews
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Charlotte,
I worked in the spec-ed department of our local school some years ago, and the best time I ever had was the time I spent with a Downs boy named Whitney. We joked around, he worked at the school store with me and perhaps because the town was small, and everyone knew everyone else, he was well liked and accepted by all the other students. He actually went to the special olympics in China one year and won second place in track.
I'm so sorry that you and Ben were put into such a predicament. I'll never understand the cruelty of kids. Not only did the very people who should have been advocating for Ben let him down, he was a victim of a judicial system that only sees black and white. I hope that his life has turned out much, much better. Most Downs children are the sweetest people in the world. Thanks so much for sharing this gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2024
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Hello Charlotte,
I worked in the spec-ed department of our local school some years ago, and the best time I ever had was the time I spent with a Downs boy named Whitney. We joked around, he worked at the school store with me and perhaps because the town was small, and everyone knew everyone else, he was well liked and accepted by all the other students. He actually went to the special olympics in China one year and won second place in track.
I'm so sorry that you and Ben were put into such a predicament. I'll never understand the cruelty of kids. Not only did the very people who should have been advocating for Ben let him down, he was a victim of a judicial system that only sees black and white. I hope that his life has turned out much, much better. Most Downs children are the sweetest people in the world. Thanks so much for sharing this gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 09-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2024
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Hi Tom,
What a lovely review (and rating!), thank you SO much!
I always love to hear other people's experiences with Downs and in your case I'm sure it helped you to visualise Ben in this story.
What an amazing achievement for Whitney to win second place at the Olympics, I can only imagine his parents joy and pride - I'll bet they wept buckets! I would have! Lol
Ben's now 36 (!) and finally his life is good. He lives in his own house with daily support coming in and basically gets to do anything he wants - he is still hoping to find a girlfriend though, oh and to become a famous rock star of course!!! Lol
I'm working on a memoir (have been for a while now!!) to relate my life with Ben - he says and does such funny things which have me in stitches, but he's also been through hell - I feel that both should be recorded. So you'll find that most of my stories are about him (hope you don't get bored by them!), all snippets from what I hope one day to make into a book.
Thank you again Tom and have a great day.
Charlotte
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Hello Charlotte,
I'm so pleased to hear that you are writing your memoir. Most certainly you need to include the bad and the good, it's all part of his life, and lends a sense of reality to your story. I wrote a memoir about my time on an "end time farm" in the wilderness of Alaska. In some respects the group we were with were a cult, and when we left after ten years, I was angry. It was so therapeudic to get it all out on paper.
We just got a Christmas card from Whitney's family. I send him a birthday card on his birthday. He was born on April 15, and he's proud that it was tax day. He's not a boy anymore, well over thirty, but I still have such pleasant memories of working with him.
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Hi Tom,
Aha so you've already been there and done it! It's quite painful at times to force oneself to remember and re-live all the bad bits, but I'm so pleased you've reiterated how therapeutic it is - I'd read that, it's good to have confirmation. I'll keep plugging away. :)
Oh how lovely that you still keep in touch with Whitney and his family, I'm sure that means a lot to them, it would me. Maybe, if ever I actually finish my memoir and publish it, you might tell them about it?
Have a lovely day Tom,
Charlotte
Comment from joann r romei
This story was so unfair to Ben, they could have offered behavior classes for him and others, and I am so upset to hear he was mistreated. The story was well written.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2024
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This story was so unfair to Ben, they could have offered behavior classes for him and others, and I am so upset to hear he was mistreated. The story was well written.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much Joann, both for taking time to read and review my story and for the wonderful six stars!
Charlotte
Comment from Tim Margetts
This is such a moving story and one that angers me greatly, the injustice done to him then, and even more when he was abused is a disgusting indictment of the legal system.
As for that 'solicitor' I personally would have reported him to the bar.
Also, what he said to the policeman at the house was completely inadmissible as he wasn't under caution or even advised not to say anything until he was at the station.
A heart-wrenching story and I do hope that he is now recovering and able to enjoy life again.
Tim
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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This is such a moving story and one that angers me greatly, the injustice done to him then, and even more when he was abused is a disgusting indictment of the legal system.
As for that 'solicitor' I personally would have reported him to the bar.
Also, what he said to the policeman at the house was completely inadmissible as he wasn't under caution or even advised not to say anything until he was at the station.
A heart-wrenching story and I do hope that he is now recovering and able to enjoy life again.
Tim
Comment Written 06-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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Hi Tim, thank you so very much for your wonderful words - and of course for the six stars!
But more importantly, you've given me food for thought - it never occurred to me that what he said to the policeman at the house was inadmissible, but you're right, a caution wasn't given!
It happened a long time ago now, and at the time I wasn't in the right place (too scared, too naïve, too overwhelmed) to have taken on the entire British legal system - but I tell you, if it happened now, they wouldn't know what hit them! Lol
I certainly could have done with someone like you advising me at the time though!
Ben's now 36 (!!) and although still nervous of the police, he has made an amazing recovery. He is happy with his life, living in his own house with daily support coming, enabling him to do everything he wants to do - although he would still like a girlfriend. :)
Charlotte
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Aww bless. It's good to hear he is doing well and living as independently as he is able.
Tell him a friend says hi and if he ever finds himself down south near Brighton I will happily take him to a karaoke and have a beer with him.
Tim x
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Oh Tim, what a lovely, kind sentiment, thank you - I'll pass the message on - but beware he'll be there like a shot and never leave!!! Ha ha Karaoke and beer are his major ideals of life's staples! Also he would be VERY impressed by that beard of yours!
Charlotte
Comment from Gayla putnam
Ben's story is wonderfully written. I felt each painful word from the mother's perspective. It's hard to imagine such horrid children exist. The justice system did not protect your son, which is even sadder since they are adults. Your story inspired outrage, so it's well written. My heart goes out to you and your son. gayla
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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Ben's story is wonderfully written. I felt each painful word from the mother's perspective. It's hard to imagine such horrid children exist. The justice system did not protect your son, which is even sadder since they are adults. Your story inspired outrage, so it's well written. My heart goes out to you and your son. gayla
Comment Written 06-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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Hi Gayla, and thank you very much for your kind and thoughtful review - and your praise! I am so pleased that you felt my story inspired the outrage that was intended - it means I got my message across which is very encouraging. Thank you.
Charlotte
Comment from BethShelby
Thank you for sharing this true story. I don't understand why parents wouldn't teach their children how to act around a children like your son. They need to realize they need friends like anyone else. Why are children cruel to those unlike them. Surely adults should know better. No justice wasn't on his side and I sorry human being can be so cruel.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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Thank you for sharing this true story. I don't understand why parents wouldn't teach their children how to act around a children like your son. They need to realize they need friends like anyone else. Why are children cruel to those unlike them. Surely adults should know better. No justice wasn't on his side and I sorry human being can be so cruel.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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Thanks :)
Comment from BethShelby
Thank you for sharing this true story. I don't understand why parents wouldn't teach their children how to act around a children like your son. They need to realize they need friends like anyone else. Why are children cruel to those unlike them. Surely adults should know better. No justice wasn't on his side and I sorry human being can be so cruel.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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Thank you for sharing this true story. I don't understand why parents wouldn't teach their children how to act around a children like your son. They need to realize they need friends like anyone else. Why are children cruel to those unlike them. Surely adults should know better. No justice wasn't on his side and I sorry human being can be so cruel.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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Thank you Beth for your kind comments, I appreciate them greatly.
Children can be very cruel, and those in this episode come from poorly educated families whose parents are no better than their offspring - the brother of one of the girls was at the same special school as Ben (due to social problems rather than disability) and after months of bullying on his part, I visited the parents to appeal on Ben's behalf. They were extremely abusive towards me and slammed the door in my face! So no, unfortunately the adults don't know (or want to know) any better.
Charlotte