First Impression
a true story2 total reviews
Comment from CM Kelly
A nice story. But I found it a little "choppy". Ex: 1) Is a word missing from this sentence "At this time, they had not long gotten a shelter dog, Libby". 2) "My father's keys jingled as I found, inserted, and turned the key to the driver's door", this sentence reads awkward. 3) "I've seen Libby a few times since that night, and though she no longer tries to attack me, I swear when she thinks no one is looking, she gives me a look because first impressions mean a lot.", to me this sentence is also awkward.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2024
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A nice story. But I found it a little "choppy". Ex: 1) Is a word missing from this sentence "At this time, they had not long gotten a shelter dog, Libby". 2) "My father's keys jingled as I found, inserted, and turned the key to the driver's door", this sentence reads awkward. 3) "I've seen Libby a few times since that night, and though she no longer tries to attack me, I swear when she thinks no one is looking, she gives me a look because first impressions mean a lot.", to me this sentence is also awkward.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2024
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I'll go back over it. Thank you.
Comment from papa55mike
Dogs will protect their territory. Please go back and check your paragraph breaks. What a wonderfully written story. Good luck in the contest! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2024
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Dogs will protect their territory. Please go back and check your paragraph breaks. What a wonderfully written story. Good luck in the contest! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 11-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2024
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Thank you for that and I have.