Five Thousand Years of Longing
An immortal keeps his promise to a lost love4 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Well, you've certainly breathed all that awesome coolness you experienced in the tomb into this historical fiction. This is a very emotional write in which the narrator, an immortal, keeps his promise to his lost love and reunites with her with a gift originally from her mother. Only then, after this heart-breaking experience in the tomb, can he begin to live his life again. Love the Celtic language in this as well. Thank you for sharing and good luck! Debbie
was (t)he womb of the moon.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2024
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Well, you've certainly breathed all that awesome coolness you experienced in the tomb into this historical fiction. This is a very emotional write in which the narrator, an immortal, keeps his promise to his lost love and reunites with her with a gift originally from her mother. Only then, after this heart-breaking experience in the tomb, can he begin to live his life again. Love the Celtic language in this as well. Thank you for sharing and good luck! Debbie
was (t)he womb of the moon.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2024
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Debbie, thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my little fable. Time has always fascinated me, especially ancient history. Imagine the stories we will never know - the lives we will never learn of. Perhaps we do share the world with individuals like Firstborn. "Isn't it lovely to think so?"
M-
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I really enjoyed how your story brings such deep emotion and history to life. I could feel the rawness of your character's feelings. The connection to Niam, and the weight of the past that haunts him, is beautifully shared.
Your writing is excellent. And the emotional tension kept me hooked. Great job. I can't wait to read more of your writing!
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
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I really enjoyed how your story brings such deep emotion and history to life. I could feel the rawness of your character's feelings. The connection to Niam, and the weight of the past that haunts him, is beautifully shared.
Your writing is excellent. And the emotional tension kept me hooked. Great job. I can't wait to read more of your writing!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
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I appreciate your kind words, Michael. Thank you for taking the time to read.
Cheers!
Comment from Julie Helms
Well, this was a pleasant surprise! I've rarely seen storytelling of this caliber on FS.
This is a love story of the ages and through the ages. It remains a mystery as to why the narrator is immortal, but it almost feels as if the power of his love for Niam has kept him going through the millennia. The lapis lazuli is a thread that ties the story from beginning to end.
On a personal note, my own lineage has been traced back to Ascall mac Ragnaill meic Torcaill, the last Viking king of Dublin in 1170AD. So I have a real interest in anything Celtic. Five generations back, I have an ancestor nicknamed Gille Mor (Big Boy) and his grandfather was Neill Mor, so I immediately recognized that in your character Dagda Mor's name.
My only question would be with your title. I think proto-Celtic civilizations are traced back about 3,000 years, so 5,000 seems like a stretch.
I enjoyed your narration style and the story itself.
Fantastic job!
Julie
:-)
** This reviewer has pledged to rate in accordance with site guidelines.**
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
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Well, this was a pleasant surprise! I've rarely seen storytelling of this caliber on FS.
This is a love story of the ages and through the ages. It remains a mystery as to why the narrator is immortal, but it almost feels as if the power of his love for Niam has kept him going through the millennia. The lapis lazuli is a thread that ties the story from beginning to end.
On a personal note, my own lineage has been traced back to Ascall mac Ragnaill meic Torcaill, the last Viking king of Dublin in 1170AD. So I have a real interest in anything Celtic. Five generations back, I have an ancestor nicknamed Gille Mor (Big Boy) and his grandfather was Neill Mor, so I immediately recognized that in your character Dagda Mor's name.
My only question would be with your title. I think proto-Celtic civilizations are traced back about 3,000 years, so 5,000 seems like a stretch.
I enjoyed your narration style and the story itself.
Fantastic job!
Julie
:-)
** This reviewer has pledged to rate in accordance with site guidelines.**
Comment Written 20-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much for your kind words, Julie. The main character is a "Firstborn." You can read more about them in my portfolio.
Newgrange pre-dates the great pyramid by around 3,200 years. Thus - 5,000 years.
So interesting! Your heritage!
What a coincidence with my characters!
Thanks again+
MD
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Oh, there's more story. Fantastic! I'll check it out. :-)
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This one is stand-alone, but can be easily tied into the Firstborn saga.
Comment from Elizabeth Delaney
I really enjoyed reading this! You're writing is great.
The discovery of the lapis lazuli stone, reminiscent of Niam's eyes, offers a poignant connection to the past. The story poignantly concludes with the protagonist's return to life, holding the stone, symbolizing the enduring bond with Niam.
Best of luck in the contest
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2024
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I really enjoyed reading this! You're writing is great.
The discovery of the lapis lazuli stone, reminiscent of Niam's eyes, offers a poignant connection to the past. The story poignantly concludes with the protagonist's return to life, holding the stone, symbolizing the enduring bond with Niam.
Best of luck in the contest
Comment Written 19-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2024
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Thank you, Elizabeth. I appreciate your input!