The Hotel
A family love forever16 total reviews
Comment from shirley31
well this is full of emotion, and a beautiful empathy of a child, and mother too gave me goose bumps! truly sadly beautiful!
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2011
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well this is full of emotion, and a beautiful empathy of a child, and mother too gave me goose bumps! truly sadly beautiful!
Comment Written 04-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2011
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Thank you shirley, I appreciateyour time very much. Wow, six stars compliments your thoughts and words, John
Comment from Ash Madox
This is a simply told, very realistic story. It drips poignancy, poor little kid. Great child's voice. Very sad the boy will pay for his father's crimes through the social network. Really well done. Cheers for the sad but beautifully executed story. Cheers. Ash.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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This is a simply told, very realistic story. It drips poignancy, poor little kid. Great child's voice. Very sad the boy will pay for his father's crimes through the social network. Really well done. Cheers for the sad but beautifully executed story. Cheers. Ash.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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Ash.. wow thank you for the kind words and positive review. Also thank you for stopping by to read it... John
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This story particulary touched me--especially so well penned--because I've been penning a story along similar lines. Thanks for the inspiration to continue with mine--which I almost set aside until reading yours, John. Some stories are worth telling, no matter how painful. Cheers to you. Ash.
Comment from bowls
Such a poignant tale! You certainly do tell it well from a child's point of view. You notice the things a child would notice - the sweatshirt, the sniffle. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Such a poignant tale! You certainly do tell it well from a child's point of view. You notice the things a child would notice - the sweatshirt, the sniffle. Nicely done.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Fausto, thank you for reading and commenting... that was my Grandfathers name, he lived in Italy... John
Comment from almajac
What a tear-jerker! The most realistic thing of all in this short story is the dialogue.
I felt as if I were there watcching everything happen. Everything is so vivid!
This is a DEFINITE contender.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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What a tear-jerker! The most realistic thing of all in this short story is the dialogue.
I felt as if I were there watcching everything happen. Everything is so vivid!
This is a DEFINITE contender.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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almajac... thank you for the positive review and reading...
Comment from Begin Again
Writer,
This is a very poignant story. Unfortunately too many of our children are faced with the fact that a parent has been convicted of a crime and can no longer fulfill their function as a parent. Our children are left confused and sad. Well done.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Writer,
This is a very poignant story. Unfortunately too many of our children are faced with the fact that a parent has been convicted of a crime and can no longer fulfill their function as a parent. Our children are left confused and sad. Well done.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Carol, thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate it.
Comment from adewpearl
How sad that so many thousands of children have a parent in prison - it has to be so confusing for them when children tease them and their remaining parent has no good explanation for the absence - you get into this child's mind so well.
Children love their parents even if they did make a mistake and commit a crime. The dialogue between child and mother is most poignant. Brooke
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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How sad that so many thousands of children have a parent in prison - it has to be so confusing for them when children tease them and their remaining parent has no good explanation for the absence - you get into this child's mind so well.
Children love their parents even if they did make a mistake and commit a crime. The dialogue between child and mother is most poignant. Brooke
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Thank you Brooke for those positive words and for reading my story....
Comment from DrJane
Beautifully written. Your imagery builds the suspense in the story to the climax at the end. Your artwork reflects the child's dream of his original family--very well done.
Blessings,
Jane
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Beautifully written. Your imagery builds the suspense in the story to the climax at the end. Your artwork reflects the child's dream of his original family--very well done.
Blessings,
Jane
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Jane... thank you for writing a positive review for this difficult story.
Comment from Matt9537
A very sweet and emotional story that, considering the word limit, was very well told.
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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A very sweet and emotional story that, considering the word limit, was very well told.
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Matt, thanks for reading and for the positive review. I appreciate the words.
Comment from Jnetgame
Good story with some powerful emotions. I'm not sure I agree with lying to the child about where his dad is (especially since the kids at school are already talking about him and might know the truth). Well written, though. Good luck.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Good story with some powerful emotions. I'm not sure I agree with lying to the child about where his dad is (especially since the kids at school are already talking about him and might know the truth). Well written, though. Good luck.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Jnet, thank you for reading and commenting on my story...
Comment from gramalot8
Mystery author, this could bed stretched into a very good longer chapter story. Good lines to start with. I felt for the mother as she talked to her son about daddy and the hotel. Good luck in the contest. And consider expanding this storyline.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Mystery author, this could bed stretched into a very good longer chapter story. Good lines to start with. I felt for the mother as she talked to her son about daddy and the hotel. Good luck in the contest. And consider expanding this storyline.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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grama... I may take your advice and extend the story. Thank you for reading and the positive comments.