Travelling to Nowhere
When your only option is no option at all63 total reviews
Comment from rightforyou
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of sexual content.
Now that's how you draw a crowd..LOL I loved this story very full of action sex violence and drama,,,What else could one ask for...Ron'
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2012
  |
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of sexual content.
Now that's how you draw a crowd..LOL I loved this story very full of action sex violence and drama,,,What else could one ask for...Ron'
Comment Written 14-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2012
-
lol, thanks Ron - much appreciated.
Mike
Comment from Betty517
Long but well worth it! I love how this great read gave me huge Goosebumps and the De ja vu is awesome! Great horror and good luck in the contest! Very well written.
Betty
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
|
Long but well worth it! I love how this great read gave me huge Goosebumps and the De ja vu is awesome! Great horror and good luck in the contest! Very well written.
Betty
Comment Written 13-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
-
Thank you, Betty. The idea for this had been lurking in my head for a while; it was time to get it out of there!
Mike :-)
-
I'm thrilled you did!
Comment from Larrypic11
This is not my taste in a story at all, Mike, but you wrote it so well it absolutely captivating, and rivets you despite that absolute horror, and insanity, of the participants. I'm happy you didn't split it up. I would never have had the courage to go to part 2. Superb job of storytelling with wonderful turnss of phrase. I'd say that I enjoyed it, but that wouldn't be true. Perhaps the highest praise-- I felt his pain. Good luck in the contest. Larry
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
 |
This is not my taste in a story at all, Mike, but you wrote it so well it absolutely captivating, and rivets you despite that absolute horror, and insanity, of the participants. I'm happy you didn't split it up. I would never have had the courage to go to part 2. Superb job of storytelling with wonderful turnss of phrase. I'd say that I enjoyed it, but that wouldn't be true. Perhaps the highest praise-- I felt his pain. Good luck in the contest. Larry
Comment Written 13-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
-
Thanks so much, Larry. I think, more than anything else, us writers are seeking a way to connect with a reader's emotions. I'm thrilled to hear that worked here, even if the specific emotion wasn't a pleasant one!
Mike
Comment from daydreamer93
Wow, just wow. The idea of a repeated horrific experience is amazing. A dark, disturbing portrayal of a deja-vu type experience. This story gave me goosebumps.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
|
Wow, just wow. The idea of a repeated horrific experience is amazing. A dark, disturbing portrayal of a deja-vu type experience. This story gave me goosebumps.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
-
Thank you, Daydreamer. I often write violent, but this is possibly the nastiest piece I've turned out!
Mike
Comment from michaelrandolph
Very interesting picture you chose for your story. I like the way your story progresses with the internal thoughts of the character easily apparent. The whole dream episode is definitely twisted and horrific, but well done.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
|
Very interesting picture you chose for your story. I like the way your story progresses with the internal thoughts of the character easily apparent. The whole dream episode is definitely twisted and horrific, but well done.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
-
Thank you. It was hard going to write this, but I had a very clear idea and was determined to do it justice. Tyanks so much for the response.
Mike
Comment from M. Karol
I thought I would stop reading after the first encounter yet could not leave it and then more came to rattle my senses. The violence is kind of personified. It grabs you yet it arouses pity for the victim of mind games.
so well put...phew!
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
|
I thought I would stop reading after the first encounter yet could not leave it and then more came to rattle my senses. The violence is kind of personified. It grabs you yet it arouses pity for the victim of mind games.
so well put...phew!
Comment Written 13-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
-
Thank you for the high rating and your amazingly encouraging comments :-). To hear this was an involving piece is music to my eyes. That comment made more sense as in my head!
I was worried this would be too nasty for people, but the response has been fantastic.
Thanks again.
Mike
Comment from alexisleech
Phew! I'm so glad that you eventually put the poor soul out of his misery! This is brilliantly written, and had me engrossed from start to finish. I thought it was going to be a bit like 'Changing doors' but after the hundredth time, gave up on that idea! Long, but excellent. Well done!
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
|
Phew! I'm so glad that you eventually put the poor soul out of his misery! This is brilliantly written, and had me engrossed from start to finish. I thought it was going to be a bit like 'Changing doors' but after the hundredth time, gave up on that idea! Long, but excellent. Well done!
Comment Written 13-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
-
Thank you, Alexis. I write a fair bit of violence in my work, but this went further than I usually do. I was glad to finish and write something silly afterwards! It's the second longest post I've ever put up here, so I appreciate the time you took to read it.
Mike
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I would say you did an excellent writing to meet the contest rules. I think you know horror/thriller is not my area, but I still respect your writting talent. It's very good.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
|
I would say you did an excellent writing to meet the contest rules. I think you know horror/thriller is not my area, but I still respect your writting talent. It's very good.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
-
Thank you, Barbara. I know this isn't your genre, sovI appreciate the read. I needed a break after this, which is why I wrote something light and silly afterwards!
Mike
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Raw, brutal and horrifying, particularily in that there was no evidence of an escape route and the inevitable seemed the last rational decision of this character.
It doesn't really matter whether this was an alcholic delusion or reality, at some level it is all too real.
Brilliantly done.
This is hardly entertainment,but there is no question in my mind that it is an exceptional write.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
|
Raw, brutal and horrifying, particularily in that there was no evidence of an escape route and the inevitable seemed the last rational decision of this character.
It doesn't really matter whether this was an alcholic delusion or reality, at some level it is all too real.
Brilliantly done.
This is hardly entertainment,but there is no question in my mind that it is an exceptional write.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
-
Thank you, Echo. I'm glad you saw that I wasn't writing about the events and whether they were imagined so much as the character and his state of mind. I had to write something nice and silly after this, just to get my thoughts back to somewhere normal!
Mike
Comment from WilliamDeen
Great description with imagery right off the bat! "The lights of the city filled the flitting dark like motes of hope amidst an oil slick of oppression" Well done. Excellent read and well penned. One item. You wrote: "I growled through pursed lips and shook my head. I could feel the strain in my jaw muscles and the tendons on my neck standing proud against my skin.
He drew a sticky line across my brow. "Suck it, bitch, or I'll open your cheek up and fuck that instead." He put the shining knife blade against my face for emphasis.
I was breathing so hard that snot spattered from my nose across my pursed lips, but it didn't seem to put him off. I shook my head again minutely. I didn't think I could make my mouth open, even if I felt willing."
'pursed lips' used close together here. Might want to use a different description for one of them.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
|
Great description with imagery right off the bat! "The lights of the city filled the flitting dark like motes of hope amidst an oil slick of oppression" Well done. Excellent read and well penned. One item. You wrote: "I growled through pursed lips and shook my head. I could feel the strain in my jaw muscles and the tendons on my neck standing proud against my skin.
He drew a sticky line across my brow. "Suck it, bitch, or I'll open your cheek up and fuck that instead." He put the shining knife blade against my face for emphasis.
I was breathing so hard that snot spattered from my nose across my pursed lips, but it didn't seem to put him off. I shook my head again minutely. I didn't think I could make my mouth open, even if I felt willing."
'pursed lips' used close together here. Might want to use a different description for one of them.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2012
-
Thanks for the great catch there, William. I've rearranged that line now. This was hard work to write in places, so I'm glad it's been well received!
Mike